


Icarus

by Glassheartxo



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Biting, Cheating, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Jealousy, Lust, M/M, Oral Sex, Organized Crime, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Rimming, Rough Sex, Slow Build, Trans Female Character, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:31:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 65,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glassheartxo/pseuds/Glassheartxo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When the other man’s tongue darted out to wet his lips he couldn’t help but follow the movement, eyes tracing along the path the muscle had made. He managed to pull his gaze away from the other man’s lips for a few seconds; eyes meeting again like two magnets in a way that made him feel transfixed. This time it was Mickey who broke the connection first, eyes darting down to focus on the red heads lips in a way that made him feel like he was about to catch on fire. His fingers were twitching like crazy in his lap and he was dying to reach out and card his fingers through the other man’s dark hair, find out if it was as soft as it looked. When the brunette proceeded to drag his bottom lip between his teeth Ian was about 5 seconds away from tearing his clothes off before being rudely reminded that they were not in fact, alone."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Catalyst

Ian Gallagher had always been a big believer in destiny. Call it old fashioned, optimistic or delusional, it didn’t matter to him, it was just what he believed. How could he not when he looked back at his life choices and the places they led him to. All his life had been characterised by him doing things at just the right time or being in the right place pre-emptively. A perfect example is when he was 10 and decided to skip school because he was ‘ _sick_ ’ resulting in him being home when his little sister Debbie started to have a violent allergic reaction, face twisting into a horrible silent scream as her throat began to swell shut. His eldest sister Fiona had been in the shower at the time and if he hadn’t been there to run and get help his sister might have died. There was also the time he was 15 and decided not to take that shortcut through the alley on his way to his friend’s party only to find out that someone was beaten in that very alley so severely they ended up with brain damage.

And then there was his dark period. He was 17 and had just finished his high school degree when his first manic period hit and he ended up disappearing for 4 months. His brother later found him in Ohio prostituting himself for drugs that had him so doped up that he could barely remember his own name, brain racing wildly with thoughts that he couldn’t seem to connect to anything vaguely resembling reality. His family were beyond themselves with worry when he returned and it took him signing himself into a psych ward to get them to finally calm down and stop looking at him like he might snap and head for the hills again. When he was finally released back into society with his new found ‘ _bipolar_ ’ diagnosis he had been extremely detached for quite some time, meds making his brain feel like he was trapped beneath the murky waters of a pond. He felt like an absolute fuck up and was really feeling adrift in his own helplessness till his family started pestering him to apply for colleges.

His brother Lip had received a scholarship for MIT two years previously and was convinced that since Ian got pretty good SAT scores he might be able to get one too if he applied. At first he had been sceptical but as his meds started to balance out and make him feel human again he eventually relented and agreed to apply to a few colleges in the hopes it would keep his family off his back. When he received his acceptance letter that summer promising him that his tuition would be covered he finally felt himself start to hope again for the time since he’d been diagnosed, colour finally starting to seep back into his black and white world.

He later learned after befriending one of the financial aid officers that there had been a huge request for grants the previous year and had he applied back then he definitely wouldn’t have received any financial help. If that wasn’t destiny he didn’t know _what_ it was.

Ian had always loved English, had tested out of it while in high school and he had known straight away he wanted to do something involving it in college. The more he thought about it the more he realised that teaching English was the perfect option for him and that’s exactly what he decided to do. His years in college were incredible and really gave him time to adjust to his meds, meet new friends and make some wildly inappropriate sexual decisions. By the time graduation rolled around he was sad to be done but even more excited to finally get his life started and get away from the South Side. So when his brother Lip was offered a job in an engineering lab in Brooklyn and offered to take him with him, he didn’t hesitate for a second.

*

The first few weeks Ian spent in Brooklyn were a real wake up call for him and definitely not in a good way. Obviously he hadn’t expected his life to magically fall together at 22 but he really hadn’t expected it to be such a struggle. It had taken less than 3 days for the pressure of having no money to overwhelm him and he spent his day’s trawling the streets looking for work. He knew that realistically there was no way a teaching job was going to fall into his lap anytime soon so he had to find something else to pay the rent. By the end of the first week he had managed to pick up a few shifts in a local coffee shop but he knew that 3 days’ work a week was not going to be enough to contribute towards the rent on the fancy apartment that Lip had chosen. He knew his brother would be nice if he brought it up but his own fierce independence and sense of self-reliance would be destroyed if he felt like he wasn’t pulling his own weight. So, he decided to resort back to something he had relied on during in his time in Ohio for money, dancing.

It didn’t take much detective work for him to locate the nearest gay club in the area. It was located in a seedy area of town but Ian knew he wasn’t in a position to be fussy, he really needed the cash. At first the manager had seem disinterested when he approached, not even bothering to turn around from the bar when he asked about a job but he refused to back down and his persistence eventually won out when the manager finally decided to turn and give him a proper once over. To Ian’s pleasure he seemed to like what he was seeing because he suddenly didn’t look so disinterested. It was in that moment, leaving the club with a new job and a spring in his step, that Ian couldn’t help but think he was grateful that people apparently found him attractive.

*

It was Ian’s third shift at the club when he felt eyes burning into the back of his head that he quickly identified as belonging to a very handsome green-eyed blonde. The guy offered him an embarrassed smile when he was caught and Ian found himself drawn to his open face and friendly relaxed demeanour. The guy let out a little wave that was half-awkward, half-adorable and Ian found himself smiling back which caused the guy’s smile to transform into a grin that lit up his whole face. During his break he found himself heading towards the bar and secretly hoping that the blonde might approach him because fuck it, he was pretty good looking. He must have been leaning against the bar for barely a minute when he registered someone standing in close proximity to him. He found himself hiding his smile behind the rim of his glass while feeling simultaneously like the predator and the prey.

His entire body took on a vulpine sleekness as he gracefully spun to face the newcomer with a mischievous smile on his face that he knew always had the desired effect of winning any man over. He could tell it worked when the guy’s eyes widened slightly and he licked his lips nervously. He took a quick breath and seemed to compose himself because when he finally spoke the earlier confidence was back in place.

“Hey, I’m Isaac” he said with a dazzling smile.

“Ian” he replied easily, sticking his hand out to shake the blondes. He could tell from the look on the guys face that he had pretty much won him over already.

“So, I’m absolutely terrible at this kind of thing so please be merciful when I run out of things to say in about 10 seconds” Isaac said with an easy laugh that Ian found himself returning immediately.

“Don’t worry about it, I saw you watching me” he teased while leaning almost imperceptibly into other man’s space.

“Yeah well, you’re kind of hard to miss” he replied with a slight blush spreading across his face.

“Because my dancing is just so good?” he asked with a grin.

“I was going to say because you’re wearing such tiny shorts but yeah the dancing too” he teased back easily and Ian found himself trying not to laugh so as to remain cool and collected.

“Well I’m hoping it was a welcome distraction” he said smoothly while raising his glass to his lips and looking at the blonde through his eyelashes.

“Well I haven’t come over here to complain if that’s what you’re asking” Isaac replied in a slightly more flirtatious tone that let Ian know that he had most definitely hooked him.

“Oh, then why have you come over?” he found himself asking with his tongue poised between his teeth, a hint of a grin showing on his face.

“Well, being the boring grown up that I am, I have responsibilities tomorrow that prevent me from staying out all night drinking and trying to impress you with my wit so.. I was thinking that maybe you’d give me your number?” he asked in a voice that he clearly hoped was nonchalant but was betrayed by the nervous glint in his eyes.

Ian found himself taken aback for a second as most guys who propositioned him in nightclubs were looking for a quick fuck in the bathroom or a back alley and most definitely had very little interest in getting to know him.

“And why should I do that?” he found himself teasing in an attempt to give himself time to consider it.

“So you can get to know me and see what a great guy I am, I might even blow your mind” Isaac replied with a cheeky smile.

“Blow my mind?” Ian said with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, you’d be amazed by how many random facts I know about Monopoly” he replied with a slightly shyer but sincere smile.

Ian found himself unable to hold back a laugh and before he could second guess himself he was putting his number into the blonde’s phone and heading back out onto the dance floor.

And the next day when he received a text from a random number asking him out for coffee, he found himself saying yes with only the briefest amount of hesitance.

*

Isaac actually turned out to be a very nice guy by all accounts. He was a bartender who had gone to college to be a photographer but much like Ian, had yet to have his break. Apart from his looks he was funny, intelligent and kind which Ian didn’t find too often in a man so he found himself agreeing to a second date followed by a third. Before long they were dating and Ian found he was actually quite happy. It wasn’t very often that he ended up getting anyway serious with a guy, which wasn’t for lack of trying as he was actually quite the closet romantic. It was more that the guys he ended up falling for usually turned out to be assholes. Lip had always teased him for going after guys that looked like sex on legs but usually turned out to be heartbreakers, made fun of him for having a bad boy complex, but Ian couldn’t help it. Growing up South Side meant that most guys he met were a bit rough around the edges, so screw him for accidently acquiring a type.

Isaac was as far from a bad boy as humanly possible which had its ups and downs. On the one hand it meant that the sex was a bit more uneventful that he was used to and the spontaneity was lacking, but on the other hand it meant he wasn’t a complete scumbag who was going to try and rob him or break his heart/face so it had its plus points. It wasn’t the most exciting relationship of his life but it was also far from the worst so he was pretty happy for the most part. He liked having someone to listen to his problems and ask about his day, someone who cared about him and wanted to spend time with him outside of the bedroom. Isaac cared about Ian and made him feel good about himself which is more than he could hope for, which is why after only 4 months of dating he found himself agreeing to move in with him.

*

On the day he was set to move in his brother pulled him aside while he was loading the car with boxes and gave him his ‘ _serious_ ’ face which meant he was in for a lecture. He asked him if he was sure he was ready for such a big commitment which he reassured him for the hundredth time he was before promptly heading upstairs to grab another box, thus ending the conversation. On the drive over to Isaac’s place he found himself getting nervous but he knew it was too late to rethink things. His brother had recently gotten back together with his college girlfriend Amanda and she was planning on moving in the following week. The last thing he wanted was to be a third wheel so he knew it was for the best that he got out of their way and gave them some privacy.

Isaac lived in the Brighton beach area of Brooklyn which was a bit of distance from where he was currently living. He noted with some annoyance that it was going to take him longer than usual to get to work but it wasn’t like he could afford to quit so he knew he’d have to learn to live with it. As the Uber pulled up in front of his boyfriend’s apartment he felt his heart speed up a bit but he quickly shook off his nerves when he saw Isaac leaning against the wall out front, face lighting up when he spotted Ian. They didn’t speak much while they brought the boxes up to his, no – _their_ apartment, too engrossed with the task at hand to focus on conversation. It wasn’t till Ian heard the snick of the latch closing in the front door that he realised he was finally moved in. He stood there awkwardly for a minute, eyes cast at the boxes on the floor containing his possessions, before looking up to survey the room.  Isaac’s apartment was bright with large windows that let in a lot of light. The furniture was colourful and mismatched but gave the room a cheerful lived in look which he liked. He finally managed to turn his eyes towards his boyfriend after realising he had run out of things to look at.

Isaac smiled when he met Ian’s eyes and let out a small laugh before speaking.

“Look, I know you might be feeling a bit awkward but it’s not like you’ve never been here before, you’ve slept over a 100 times and you’ve never felt out of place have you?” he asked while nudging Ian with his shoulder. He waited till Ian shook his head before continuing.

“Exactly so don’t worry about it. There’s no need to feel unwelcome here okay? It’s your home now too” Isaac said giving Ian’s arm a squeeze and managing to prompt a smile out of him.

By the time Ian was finished unpacking he had managed to calm down considerably, seeing his own things dotted around the apartment soothed him and made him feel more at home. That night when he went to sleep in his new bedroom that he shared with his boyfriend he allowed himself to relax and let the soft breathing behind him finally lull him to sleep.

*

After a week of living in his new home Ian had finally managed to establish a new routine and was finally starting to settle in. He now knew where everything was, how to get to the nearby shops and how long he needed to get to work from his new apartment. The commute to work was a bit of a pain in the ass at first after living less than 10 minutes away for the previous 4 months but Ian quickly learned to suck it up and get on with it.

It was a Thursday night when something happened that would later alter Ian’s life in ways he couldn’t possibly imagine, even though he didn’t know it at the time. It was late in the evening and he was catching up with two of his friends from college before heading off to his shift at the club. They had made a tradition to meet up every Monday and Thursday night for a few quiet drinks and Ian had made sure not to pass the opportunity up now that he no longer lived in the area. Alice was a fiercely independent woman whose stunning dark hair and exotic looks were a result of her Armenian father and Patrick was an upbeat, positive spirit with a penchant for making terrible decisions while drunk. He had met them in his college’s LGBT society in his freshman year and they’d become inseparable since that day. Alice had lived in Brooklyn all her life and now had a job interning at a law firm and Patrick had moved into a flat with her after graduation when he got offered a job at a nearby marketing company.

That particular night they had both been grilling him about his recent decision to move in with Isaac.

“So you’re honestly telling me you don’t regret it at all, not even a little bit?” Alice asked sceptically while twirling the straw around in her overpriced cocktail.

“Well, I admit it is kind of weird but no, I don’t particularly regret it” he replied with a shrug.

“Huh” she commented with a raised eyebrow, “the sex must be really good then”.

“It’s okay” he said with an amused smile.

“Wow! Okay? Please calm down there with the enthusiasm anyone would think your trying to make us jealous” Patrick gasped dramatically while pretending to fan himself with the beer coaster. Ian kicked him under the table while Alice watched the interaction with a knowing smile.

“Okay so admittedly he doesn’t really rock my world but he’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met and that’s more important when it comes to a relationship” Ian said raising his hands to fend off the matching sceptical looks on his friends faces.

“It is? I thought lots of orgasms was the point, maybe that’s why none of mine ever work out” Alice pondered aloud with a salacious grin.

“Same here! Give me lots of orgasms any day” Patrick added while wiggling his eyebrows at Ian.

“I never said there wasn’t lots of sex, I just said it wasn’t that exciting” Ian responded while draining the last of his drink. “But it’s still satisfying” he added.

“Satisfying huh? Jesus Ian, stop that dirty talk before you get me hard stud” Patrick replied in a deadpan voice that had Ian swatting at him as he stood up.

“Alright give me a break, unlike you two I have to go to work now while you get to stay here and get fucked up” he added heaving out a sigh as he swung his bagpack onto his shoulder.

“Yeah but on the plus side you get to go home to your boyfriend and have perfectly average but adequate intercourse” Alice teased with a wink.

He simply shook his head while laughing and turned to leave as dual calls of “ _good_ _bye_ ” followed him out the door and into the chilly night. He lit a cigarette while he walked taking time to enjoy it. Isaac didn’t allow smoking in his apartment which meant he had to go out onto the balcony to have a cigarette and even at that the blonde didn’t look too pleased, nose wrinkling when Ian came back in as if to subtly tell him he hated the smell. He arrived for his shift with 10 minutes to spare and was able to take his time getting changed which he enjoyed because he was the kind of person who hated being rushed.

The night was exceedingly normal by all standards. He gave his performance up on the podium, he gave his performance while gyrating around on peoples laps and he collected his tips. It wasn’t hard work for Ian, he liked being the centre of attention, always had ever since he was a child. He liked thinking he was the subject of someone’s fantasies, it made him feel powerful. Ian’s problem was that he had always liked being admired, but it was never enough. He didn’t just want to temporarily enchant a group of people; he wanted to permanently enchant one person. He wanted to completely possess someone’s thoughts, he wanted someone to be enamoured by him and only him. He wanted to experience what it was like to be the centre of someone’s universe, to be intensely wanted; to be intensely _loved_. And try as he might, he knew that Isaac was never going to make him feel that way. He lacked the drive, he lacked the intensity and passion necessary to feel that way about someone, but he made Ian feel special so he hung on to him all the same.

*

By the time Ian’s shift ended he was sweaty, tired and well past fantasising about taking a shower. His boss had approached him after his break with the spare key in hand and asked Ian would he mind locking up at the end of the night because he had to leave early. He had begrudgingly agreed and for the first time since he started working there he decided not to take a shower as he didn’t want to end up being even later getting home. He changed back into his clothes and proceeded to lock the front and side entrance to the club. He pushed open the door to the employee back entrance and stepped out into the cold street; shivering and cursing the fact that he only had a thin hoodie on. He was just reaching into his pocket to retrieve the keys when he heard the crack of 3 gunshots going off in a row at the top of the alley causing him to drop them in shock. He stood still for a minute staring into the dark with his heart hammering like a wild animal behind his rib cage before crouching down and scrambling on the ground for the keys, limited lighting making them hard to see.

He finally wrapped his fingers around them and let out an internal breath of relief before registering footsteps nearby. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for a fight and swung around but his breath ended up catching in his throat and his hands dropped meekly like a rag dolls by his side. Because standing in front of him, was a guy with blood spattered all over his hands and t-shirt, and he was the most incredible looking person Ian had ever seen. He was so exceedingly pale that his skin was almost glowing and had dark hair which made the red stand out starkly on his skin, making him look almost like a macabre imitation of a comic book drawing. Ian found his eyes were drawn to a particular fleck of blood on the bridge of his nose near his eyes. He then realised it was probably the eyes that had drawn his attention because fuck he had never seen such _blue_ fucking eyes in life. His parted lips were full and slightly red like they had been bitten and he found himself wanting to volunteer for that privilege. He vaguely registered that they were probably the most amazing thing he had ever seen in his life before his eyes then reminded him that he was probably the most amazing thing he had ever seen in general.

He could see the guy was equally as shocked at encountering him and was clearly trying to quickly decide what to do with him. He drew his bottom lip, which Ian found _painfully_ distracting, between his teeth and let out a frustrated growl when he heard the sirens growing in the distance. The noise prompted Ian to break out of his awe induced stupor and the gears in his brains started to whir back into life quickly, South Side instincts taking over in a familiar way. Obviously this guy was on the run and Ian presumed he was looking for a place to hide, so he decided to take a chance and before his mouth could say something stupid, he reached forward and opened the back door to the club. He nodded his head towards the stranger who regarded him suspiciously, eyes narrowing in a way that had a jolt running down Ian’s spine that was a mixture of arousal and fear. The sirens got louder as they continued their stare off and the guy eventually cast his eyes back towards the top of the alley before muttering “ _fuck_ ” and deciding to take him up on his offer of a hiding place, door slamming behind him an obvious hint not to follow him.

Ian’s breathing didn’t return to normal for a good minute afterwards and he found his hands trembling like a child’s as he reached into his pockets and pulled out a cigarette from the carton. The first few hits of nicotine in his blood caused his heart rate to decrease and the shakes to recede slowly. By the time he was lighting up his third one the sirens had moved away and he reckoned it was safe enough for the guy to come out. He didn’t want to barge in and end up getting stabbed so he knocked on the door twice and stood back against the wall with his smoke in hand. After a minute the door swung open carelessly and the dark haired stranger strolled out casually like he hadn’t a worry in the world. Ian’s eyes quickly dropped to the ground to avoid a confrontation but they almost immediately ended up flicking upwards because after all, he was only human and the guy was gorgeous.

Their eyes met and for a minute he forgot how to breathe or blink, possible even how to function. He was more surprised he didn’t drop his cigarette. Almost imperceptivity, so slightly that he almost thought he might have imagined it, the guy nodded at him before turning heel and strolling off towards the dark end of the street. He stood there staring out into the darkness where the guy had disappeared and he stayed standing there until he realised his cigarette had completely burned down to the filter untouched.

*

When he had finally gotten home that night and dragged himself out of the shower he told Isaac what had happened conversationally, leaving out the fact that the guy was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen obviously. His boyfriend had propped himself up on one elbow and looked at him with a worried expression, eyebrows knitted together. He told him how the area was a haven for gang related crime and how he should always be careful when walking home to avoid dark streets. Ian blew off Isaac’s concerns in an attempt to pacify him by telling him he was always careful but he knew he hadn’t been on that particular occasion. As he lay awake that night in bed he realised he hadn’t been that afraid at all, he had been excited. He had felt _alive._ The last thing he remembered seeing before finally succumbing to exhaustion had been a flash of blue and he fell asleep with a small secret smile on his face.

The next day started off completely normal. Ian had the day off so he proceeded to treat himself to a lie in before dragging himself out of bed to make coffee. Isaac was out so he had the apartment to himself. He made the most of it by singing and dancing along to music on the radio while making breakfast and musing about how if someone was to see him in that moment giving it his all to Taylor Swift he’d be dying alone. As much as he appreciated the day off Ian had always been a very active person and he decided by lunchtime that he was going to be productive and head to the gym for an hour or two to burn off his excess energy. He realised very quickly that he had forgotten to bring his gym bag with him when he moved but he brushed it off thinking that Isaac would probably have something he could borrow. He proceeded to dig through his boyfriend’s side of the wardrobe in an attempt to find a suitable bag when his eyes caught something that was half hidden under a spare blanket.

He moved it to find a seemingly ordinary green duffel bag sitting inconspicuously at the bottom of the wardrobe. He found himself internally fist pumping at his discovery until he went to lift it and found it weighed a tonne. He ended up releasing the strap and crouching down so he could open it and look at the contents, a feeling of unease starting to slowly build in the pit of his stomach, warning bells set off in his head. It turns out his instincts were right because the zip slowly opened to reveal something that Ian couldn’t believe he was seeing. He stepped back from the bag and collapsed into a seated position on the edge of the bed. He immediately felt his leg start to twitch and he found himself itching to text Isaac and demand an explanation fast. Because if his boyfriend was just your average normal photographer wannabe, why did he have a bag filled to the brim with weed sitting casually in his wardrobe?

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have the confrontation between Ian and Isaac written but I thought this was a good place to end. I'm currently already writing a multi-chapter fic but this idea kept bouncing around in my head and I had it written before I even knew what I was doing. Anyway, I hope people enjoy reading this!


	2. Asphyxia

Ian was bouncing off the walls while slowly smoking his way through a whole carton of cigarettes, waiting for Isaac to get home. After the third one he stopped bothering to go out to the balcony, annoyance winning out over his need to be polite. His foot was twitching up a storm and his fingers were drumming on the arm of the chair angrily as he kept casting his eyes at the clock on the wall. By the time he heard the key finally turn in the lock he had skipped annoyed and jumped straight to cold fury. His ears vaguely registered the sounds of Isaac chattering away in the background as he took off his coat and went into the kitchen but it wasn’t until he was standing in front of him and waving a hand in his face that he finally took notice of him properly. He then levelled his boyfriend with a glare that had him immediately looking uneasy.

“What’s got you looking like a murderer?” he joked weakly while scratching the back of his head nervously.

“There’s something on the bed that I think you should see” Ian replied calmly while reaching for a cigarette. He had already started to light it when Isaac began weakly protesting but he quickly silenced him with a look.

“The bed Isaac, go look” he repeated while glaring up at him.

His boyfriend looked like he was going to try and speak again but he decided against it and slowly walked towards the bedroom. He then proceeded to stand in the doorway quietly for a minute, no doubt taking into account the duffel bag sitting open on the bed.

Ian could almost hear the hamster wheel going at a hundred miles an hour in his head as he no doubt struggled to come up with an explanation. He noticed him reaching into his pocket and composing a quick text. After an indiscernible amount of time that could have been seconds or minutes, his phone beeped. He pulled his phone out to read the text, quickly shooting one back before he finally turned to face Ian again. He had a weary look of inevitability on his face that suggested he had known it would only be a matter of time before he was caught.

“Start talking” Ian said quietly while gesturing towards the armchair beside him.

Isaac took a deep breath as if to prepare himself before walking over to the seat and sitting down cautiously. When he finally met Ian’s eyes he let out a sigh and leaned forward till his elbows were on his knees.

“What do want to know?”

*

Mickey really wasn’t in a very good mood when the sound of his phone ringing for the 6th time forced him to drag himself out of bed. Granted, Mickey was often not in a good mood in the morning or in general but he was especially irritable that day. He hadn’t managed to get back to his apartment till after 7 and was convinced that exhaustion, rather than his often hedonistic and reckless lifestyle, was what was finally going to do him in. When he finally located his phone in the pocket of the jeans he had discarded on the floor he felt an almost manic glee at seeing the caller ID read ‘ _Colin_ ’ because that was someone he had no problem shouting at.

“You better have a good fucking reason for waking me up” he barked out while sticking a cigarette between his lips and searching for a lighter in his coat.

“Waking you up? It’s nearly fucking three in the day asshole” Colin replied flippantly.

“Fuck off. Get to the point or I’m hanging up” he shot back while lighting the cigarette, first hit of the nicotine like a breath of fresh air.

“You’re such a pleasure to talk to little brother y’know that?” Colin said in a simpering tone that made Mickey want to punch someone in the face.

“Okay so bye-“

“Alright, alright _Jesus_ Mick, calm the fuck down. Maybe you do need to go back to sleep.” He interrupted in a tone that gave away his obvious amusement. When he spoke again a moment later his voice was much more serious. “You get it done?”

“’Course I got it done, nobody threatens a Milkovich, even if that Milkovich is an idiot like Iggy. It’s sorted, he won’t be running his mouth ever again” he replied while stretching languidly across the bed.

“Were there are any complications?” he asked, exhaling in a way that let Mickey know he was also having a smoke break.

“Yeah, fucking Jimmy managed to get pulled over without any insurance and he ended up getting fucking arrested _again_ so I had no fucking getaway car.” He snapped while shaking his head in annoyance at the memory and pushing up off the bed.

“Fuck is he still in? What did you do?” Colin asked while clicking his tongue in disapproval.

“Yeah but I called Helene, she can deal with it. I just decided to leave the scene of the crime the old-fashioned way, by placing one foot in front of the other” he replied while drifting aimlessly into the kitchen. This caused Colin to let out a low whistle through his teeth which was his way of saying he was torn between admiration and disbelief.

“Jesus Mick that was a risky move”

“Yeah well bite me, what else was I supposed to do? Stand there?” Mickey snapped back while glaring at the coffee machine as if the intensity of his stare might make it go faster.  

“I know, I’m just saying okay? Anyway I got to go, I can ring Helene if you want, find out about Jimmy?” Colin asked, wind almost blocking out the noise of him speaking.

“No it’s fine, I gotta ring her to discuss tomorrow anyway” Mickey replied almost crying in relief when the coffee was finally ready.

“Okay so, talk to you later Mi-”

He wasn’t in the mood for any further chit chat and hung up before his brother had even finished saying his name.

It took 2 cups of coffee and several cigarettes for the black cloud hovering over him to dissipate. By the time his phone vibrated again he was lying on the couch with the TV on and he was in a much more tolerable mood. He unlocked his phone screen and let out a snort of laughter when he read the text Isaac had just sent him.

 **[5.25] Isaac:** _Fuck Mick, my boyfriends after finding all your shit in the wardrobe and he looks ready to freak. What should I tell him?_

Mickey took a minute to contemplate his question before firing back an answer.

 **[5.28] Mickey** _**:**  If you think you can trust lover boy than go ahead and tell him whatever you want. But just know if he turns out to be a rat I’ll have to break his legs._

 **[5:29] Isaac:** _Will do man, when are you coming to collect the money?’_

 **[5:30] Mickey:** _Tomorrow_

Mickey, deeming the conversation now over, threw his phone back onto the coffee table and decided that there was probably time for a quick nap before being forced to deal with everyone else’s shit for the day.

*

Ian was staring at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow and trying his best not to laugh bitterly at the flustered look on his face.

“Oh so it’s your brother’s huh? And you’re what, just keeping it safe for him?” Ian asked sceptically.

“Well… not exactly” Isaac mumbled while trying to look everywhere but at the redhead. Ian found himself sighing angrily and pushed up out of the chair in an attempt to walk off.

“No wait, I’ll tell you everything just... stay okay?” Isaac half-shouted in a panicked voice. Ian contemplated walking out anyway because he was feeling righteously annoyed but his curiosity won out and he found himself sitting down again. The next time he glanced up Isaac was looking a lot more composed and when he spoke his voice was several octaves lower.

“The drugs are my brothers, that’s not a lie, but… I sell them for him for the extra cash and he gives me 30% of the profits, how else could I afford such a nice place on a bartender’s wages” he said with a self-deprecating smile.

“Okay, so your brothers a drug dealer then?” Ian asked while cocking his head slightly to the side as he digested the information. This actually managed to get a smile out of Isaac but it wasn’t an amused one.

“My brother is much more than a drug dealer. I don’t know what word best describes him but it’s not that” he laughed without any real trace of humour. Ian could tell he was gearing up for something big so he stayed quiet. When the blonde could see Ian wasn’t going to respond he continued on after licking his lips nervously.

“My whole family, well my Dad’s side anyway, are Ukrainian and they’re kind of like… a crime syndicate” he said quietly, wincing around the last word like it might suddenly take corporeal form and assault him. Ian felt his head go a bit fuzzy at that and he opened his mouth once or twice before closing it.

“A crime syndicate, like….like the Mafia?” Ian shot back in a hushed voice, almost afraid to verbalise the words out loud.

“Well technically Ukraine doesn’t really have a proper Mafia, the Odessa Mafia mainly consists of Russian people so they’re really the Russian Mafia but I- I’m just shutting up now” Isaac finished feebly when he finally spotted the withering look on his boyfriends face.

“So, the Mafia?” Ian repeated slowly.

“Well like I said, technically the only real official Mafia coming out of Ukraine is the Russian Mafia who my dad does some work with but yeah, he basically is the equivalent of the Ukrainian Mafia if there was to be one” Isaac confirmed with a nod.

The redhead leaned back in his seat, head feeling dizzy from trying to absorb the information the blonde had just shared. This time when he went to light a cigarette Isaac didn’t even bother to try and stop him, mollified expression firmly in place. After taking a few steadying drags Ian felt ready to speak again.

“So you’re like…what, a mobster?” he asked dryly. This caused his boyfriend to snort in contempt.

“Me? God no, like I’d ever be trusted with any kind of responsibility”.

Ian noted the bitterness in his tone and he swore he almost saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes for a minute but it was gone as quick as it came.

“I’m only half Milkovich, I have a different mother than the other kids. I was basically the product of an affair Terry, my dad, had 23 years ago when he was visiting New York. My mom raised me, I didn’t meet Terry till I was nearly 12. He had his other sons with him and he took one look at me and laughed. He said I was too soft to be of any use to him and that was that. I met him again once more when I was 18, he came to the house to talk to my mother, I’m not sure why, but he had no interest in me. A few months later I was struggling for money, college had me absolutely drained financially, and I ran into Mickey in a nightclub. He recognised me and we got talking. I was absolutely wasted and ended up telling him about my money troubles and well, you know the rest” he said with a shrug.

“So, that’s it?” Ian asked cautiously while searching his face for any trace of dishonesty.

“That’s it, I just sell drugs for my brother, that’s it. I doubt Terry even knows about the arrangement. I’m not a hardened criminal, I’d get my ass stomped if I was in a fist fight. I’m so useless at crime that Mickey has me selling weed, he won’t even trust me with the cocaine which is their main narcotic import.” Isaac added with a weak smile.

Ian took a long drag off his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray and sitting back to survey the man in front of him. After a minute he decided to speak before Isaac passed out from the tension in the room.

“Well, I’m South Side so... I’m no stranger to crime, and selling weed is pretty harmless so I can deal but, you should have been honest about it” he said sharply causing a look of guilt to flash over the blonde’s face.

“Well, I really like you and I was afraid you’d run for the hills if you found out” he replied with such a sincere look on his face that Ian couldn’t help but dial back the anger. He decided to ignore the emotion in his boyfriend’s words for the moment, not in the mood for any mushy shit when he still had so many questions.

“So, how many siblings do you actually have? You told me you were an only child” he asked coolly, could see the other man flinch out of the corner of his eye.

“I am on my mother’s side” he responded weakly before continuing on.

“I have 5 brothers, Jamie, Tony, Colin, Iggy and Mickey. I only have two sisters but I've only actually met one of them, her name is Mandy”.

“And your Dad is in charge?” Ian prompted.

“Well, in an overall sense yes, but he lives in Odessa and isn’t in Brooklyn much so around here his sons Jamie and Tony are basically in charge, in name anyway” he replied starting to look more relaxed now that the pressure was off him.

“What do you mean in name?” Ian asked, finding himself growing curious.

“Well, Jamie and Tony are the oldest so they should be in charge but everyone knows that it’s basically Mickey calling the shots even though he’s the youngest” Isaac responded while walking over to turn the coffee machine on.

“Why’s that?” Ian said standing up to follow him over.

“Well the hierarchy shit is kind of complicated so let me make the coffee first okay?” he suggested while smiling slightly. He chanced reaching across to gently squeeze Ian’s shoulder and looked so pleased when he didn’t get rebuffed that Ian almost regretted considering it.

When they were finally settled back on the couch with their drinks in hand Isaac continued his explanation.

“So basically, Tony and Jamie should be in charge but Mickey really runs the show under Terry. But in the public eye, none of them are in power. See, Terry’s empire has gained a lot of negative publicity in the media and obviously with the police and the FBI and shit. So Terry has all these powerful men who serve under him, his generals if you will, and he pays a few of them a shit ton of money to pretend to be his ‘underbosses’ in the public eye so that if there’s ever a big fall out they’ll take the fall instead of his actual heirs. Mickey just basically lets them go around doing whatever they want but they have to go through him if they want to make any big decisions. So the basic hierarchy is Terry, Mickey, Terry’s other sons, the higher ups who deal with the more serious business shit and then the general lackeys they have on a street level that basically just act as drug runners and muscle.”

Ian quietly sipped at his coffee while processing the wealth of information that had just been thrown at him. He finally asked the question that had been nagging at him since Isaac had brought it up.

“If Mickey’s the youngest, why is he in charge?” he asked noticing the way his boyfriend’s face looked bitterly amused when he did.

“Well let’s just say, if you were to meet him, you’d get it straight away. Mickey is the kind of person that draws people towards him. He can be charming, even charismatic when he wants to be, which automatically makes him a better choice that Jamie and Tony because I doubt they have a charming bone in their bodies. He’s intelligent and sharp and he knows a good business deal when he sees one, which makes him preferable over Colin and Iggy who know fuck all about business. They aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the box. But most importantly, he’s a vicious motherfucker and he isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. I have never met someone that can simultaneously ooze charm and intimidation as effortlessly as Mick does” Isaac said with an emotion his voice Ian couldn’t quite identify.

“And you clearly have something against him” Ian observed casually which caused his boyfriend to visibly twitch before composing himself.

“I don’t dislike Mickey it’s just…sometimes when you’re around him, it can make you feel kind of invisible, especially in public. He always commands attention no matter where he is, he doesn’t even have to say anything. And it really doesn’t help when you’re trying to pull” Isaac added with a laugh that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

This little admission had Ian interested. “He’s gay?”

“Well, he claims to be Bi but me and Tony have this bet running that he only plays up to it so Terry doesn’t attempt to beat him to death. When he was 18, word got back to his Dad that he had been seen with a guy in a nightclub but he told his Dad he liked both genders because just one didn’t satisfy him. Terry was apparently absolutely fuming but he decided to let him off as long as he promised to be discreet and eventually settle down with a woman and give him grandchildren. If it had been one of his other sons he would have had them shot but he’s not stupid, he knows things over here would crumble without Mick, so lets him fuck who he wants as long as it’s not serious, at least not if it’s with a guy. But yeah, absolute nightmare on a night out when you’re trying to chat someone up. I once spent 3 hours talking to this guy and he arrived just before I decided to head to the bathroom. He had him completely smitten by the time I came back.” Isaac said in a tone that was clearly meant to be light and humorous but was undercut with jealousy.

Ian could sense this topic was causing his boyfriend to get tense so he quickly decided to deflect the conversation back to something more neutral.

“So obviously your family get all their money through crime but I presume they have some legal ventures to act as a front for the money?” he observed while nudging the blondes shoulder in an attempt to cheer him up. He offered the redhead a small smile and the tension started to bleed out of his body again, like steam from a bath evaporating.

“Yeah, Terry is heavily involved with importation in Odessa, which is smart because the docks are where all the contraband is entering the country. Some of the things he imports are perfectly normal which is how his legal business makes its money, the other stuff, like the drugs and weapons, not so much. He also owns stocks and bonds in a lot of Ukrainian companies. He owns a restaurant on Brighton beach and a lounge which gives him a reason to visit from time to time without arousing suspicion. He also bought all his sons their own legal businesses so they have an excuse for having money as well. Colin and Tony have the bar that I work in, Jamie has a mechanic shop, Iggy and Mickey own a tattoo parlour and Mickey also owns a strip club” Isaac replied casually like they were talking about the weather.

“I notice you don’t mention your sister much” Ian said curiously.

“Terry is very old-fashioned, doesn’t believe in having women involved in men’s business so he doesn’t pay much attention to Mandy. I’m pretty sure she does some work for Mickey on the side occasionally but I think she’s happy enough not being involved, can you blame her?” Isaac mused. The two of them ended up lapsing into silence for a few minutes, both lost in their own worlds.

Eventually the silence wore on too long to be comfortable and just as Ian was contemplating breaking it Isaac beat him to it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my family, I just thought they might be kind of a deal breaker” he said quietly.

“Yeah, I can see why you’d think that but, we can’t choose our family so don’t worry about it, I forgive you” Ian replied with a half-smile while placing his hand on his boyfriends knee affectionately. The blondes return smile was dazzling but Ian could also feel that he was gearing up for one final speech so he interrupted.

“And if you’re going to tell me to keep my mouth shut you don’t have to worry, I’m not stupid okay?” Ian added gently. Isaac just nodded back and leaned into the red heads side. They spent the rest of the evening chatting in front of the TV and managed to keep the conversation from drifting back into dark territory. 

*

The next day Ian received a call from one of his co-workers asking him to swap shifts which meant he ended up with another day off. Isaac was secretly displeased as that meant his boyfriend would be home when his brother came over. He knew they were going to cross paths eventually but he had hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. He had mentioned the visit over breakfast that morning, privately hoping that he might feel uncomfortable and want to leave by his own choice.

However, if anything Isaac thought he seemed more interested than he let on, although he tried to play it off casually as he kissed him on the cheek, shooting him that mega-watt smile to distract him. Isaac spent the last hour before his brother was set to arrive feeling on edge but he couldn’t quite pinpoint what had him feeling so jittery, it was just going to be the same as always. Ian was out on the balcony having a cigarette when the buzzer went off and he reluctantly cast one final glance out at his boyfriend before heading over to let his brother in.

As his brother casually strolled through the front door Isaac couldn’t help but wonder how Mickey managed to enter every room like he owned it. He always managed to look like be belonged wherever he was at any given time, constantly emanating this quiet confidence, this absolute control.

“Ay, shithead” he greeted as he walked past before casually leaning against the island in the kitchen and putting all his weight on his arms.

“Hey Mick” Isaac said with a smile he hoped looked semi-confident while strolling over to stand a few feet away from him, already feeling awkward in his presence. His brother didn’t reply, instead opting to keep quiet and scan the place, blue eyes sweeping calculatingly around the apartment like lasers. He was wearing a dark dress shirt that made his skin look even more shockingly white and Isaac found himself curious as to why he was dressed up. He quickly realised he must have asked aloud when his brother narrowed his eyes at him in a very feline manner and raised an eyebrow.

“My court appearance was today?” he said in a tone that suggested that Isaac should probably know that.

“Oh fuck I forgot, how did it go?” he asked quickly.

His brother let out a snort at that and slowly pushed off the island to stroll across the room casually.

“It was a waste of time as usual, Helene slaughtered the prosecution, got me off on a technicality. We really aren’t paying that woman enough for the magic she works”

Before Isaac could respond Mickey was lowering himself on to the couch and fixing him with an expectant look. It took him a minute for his brain to catch up but he eventually remembered why he was there. “Give me a minute”

He quickly turned and headed towards the bedroom feeling the weight of Mickey’s gaze on the back of his head. He reached under the mattress for the drug money and quickly hurried back out with it. He was just about to hand it to him when the balcony door clicked open and he remembered why he had been so apprehensive about the visit. He watched the scene play out almost as if it was in slow motion, saw the minute their eyes finally met.

And all he could think about in that moment was how much he didn’t like the glint in his brother’s eyes.

*

Ian had been out on the balcony when Isaac’s infamous brother had arrived and had found himself exceedingly nervous for some reason. He ended up lighting another cigarette straight after finishing the first one just to have an excuse to stay outside a little longer. He could hear their mumbled conversation through the glass but it was hard to make out what they were talking about as Mickey was much more soft spoken than Isaac with his cheery tone. When he finally reached the end of his second smoke he realised that he couldn’t sit out there for the whole visit like a coward so he flicked it out over the railing and took a calming breath. He braced himself for a second and then finally forced himself to step inside. He found himself being grateful for the grip he had on the handle because he’s pretty sure if he hadn’t had been holding onto something he would have fallen over when he laid eyes on Mickey.

Because fuck if he wasn’t the guy from outside the club.

When their eyes locked Ian’s heart started hammering wildly in his chest and his mind went completely blank, all coherent thought chased away by the man sitting on the couch directly in front of him. Ian’s first thought was that the guy looked about 1000 times better when you added a shirt and subtracted the blood. His second thought was _'fuck, I fancy my boyfriend’s brother.'_ He could he see the other man was also shocked to see him if the subtle narrowing of his eyes was any indication but unlike Ian he was playing it way cooler. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip and Ian’s eyes unconsciously chased the movement, desperately trying to commit the action to memory. Isaac seemed to sense the growing tension in the room and was looking between them with a very displeased look on his face. He let out a less than subtle cough that had Ian jumping in his skin.

“Ian, this is my brother Mickey Milkovich, Mickey this is Ian Gallagher”

“We’ve met” Mickey replied in a low voice without tearing his eyes away from the red head. The intensity of his gaze was starting to make Ian feel dizzy and he could feel his skin getting warmer with every passing second. He noted dimly in the back of his mind that Isaac had spoken but it sounded muffled and far away. He felt momentarily paralysed, pinned by the intensity of the other man’s eyes as if something was physically weighing him down, the intimacy of the action making his chest feel heavy. He doesn’t know long he spent staring into those ridiculously blue eyes but he does know that he suddenly felt very empty and hollow when the other man finally wrenched them away, effectively breaking the connection. Ian vaguely registered that Isaac had asked him a question but he was drawing a blank as to what it was. Surprisingly, Mickey seemed to take pity on him and answered said question.

“We met the other night outside the White Swallow. He gave me somewhere to lay low for a while” Mickey replied with an amused smirk that did weird things to Ian’s insides.

He then realised that the brunette had a slight Ukrainian accent which he quickly decided was the sexiest thing he had ever heard. It was very soft, almost unnoticeable on some words, but it was definitely there. Ian could vaguely see the realisation dawning on his boyfriends face out of the corner of his eye but he wasn’t sure how to respond, he felt adrift like a boat lost out at sea. Mickey could clearly tell he wasn’t in a very loquacious mood because he directed his next question at Isaac.

“So, where did you meet?”

“Um, at the White Swallow actually, Ian’s a dancer” the blonde replied, eyes darting uncertainly between his boyfriend and his brother. This caused one half of Mickey’s mouth to curl into a smile and he turned back to look at the red head.

“A dancer huh? You any good?” he asked in a voice that made Ian’s pulse pick up rapidly.

“I’m pretty good” he found himself saying, voice coming out much huskier than he intended.

“I’d believe that” Mickey replied lowly, gaze turning purely predatory for a minute.

Ian felt a thrill run up his spine and he was ashamed to say that for a minute, he forgot his boyfriend was in the room. He quickly remembered when he looked over and saw the awkward expression on his face.

“Right well, I’m going to make coffee” he announced feeling jittery and he was across the room before Isaac could even form a response.

Not wanting to walk back over and be sucked into the weird atmosphere, he decided to stay seated safely on his stool with the island acting as a protective barrier between him and the rest of the room. He flicked aimlessly through his phone while sipping his coffee and listening to the other men chat in the background. Every now and then he’d peek up from under his fringe, which was really due a cut, to gaze at Mickey. 8 out of 10 times the other man would catch him looking and smirk at him causing him to look away instantly. After the 50th time Ian decided to duck outside for a cigarette and some fresh air. He had just finished lighting it, hadn’t even had the chance to put the lighter back in his pocket, when he heard the door open behind him and his heart rate started to pick up.

When Mickey stepped out behind him he quickly realised how small the balcony was and wasn’t sure whether he considered that a curse or a blessing at that particular moment. He found himself idly thinking how happy he was his boyfriend didn’t smoke, although he wasn’t sure if this was because he wanted to be alone with the other man or he just didn’t want anyone to witness him making a fool of himself further. He decided turning to face the other man would be the first step in not looking like a total freak and proceeded to flip around in what he hoped was a smooth and confident manner. He realised quickly it was probably a bit too smooth, possible even overtly seductive judging by the amused look on the brunettes face and he found himself cursing his club acquired moves.

Mickey plucked a cigarette out of his pack and placed it between his lips, an action which immediately drew the red heads attention because they were the most distracting lips he’d ever seen. He snapped out of it when he realised said lips were starting to form into a knowing smirk. He noted very quickly that the brunette had the words ‘fuck u-up’ tattooed on his knuckles and hoped he wasn’t doing anything to encourage him to feel like doing so. Ian held the lighter out but instead of taking it off him, Mickey instead chose to cup his hand with his own and leaned in placing his other hand on Ian’s hip where his t-shirt had rode up to expose a strip of bare skin. The red head could feel burn marks forming on his skin where Mickey was touching him, electricity crackling in his blood making him feel like he was made up of circuits rather than veins. A strange feeling was coiling in the pit of his stomach that made his skin feel too tight and his palms too sweaty. He doesn’t know how long he stood there but it was enough for an amused look to form in the brunette’s eyes.

He raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the lighter expectantly and Ian, slowly remembering how to function again, proceeded to light the cigarette. When it was lit, tip glowing cherry red, Mickey dropped the hand cupping the lighter but let the one on the hip linger for a second longer, before pulling it away so slowly that Ian could feel the drag of his fingertips across the skin perfectly. Ian felt the loss of his hands acutely and it took him a good minute to remember why they were out there. He finally registered the cigarette in his hand that was half burnt out and quickly pulled it up to his mouth to take several long drags in an attempt to steady his racing heart.

“So, do you usually stop to help strangers in dark alleys?” Mickey asked with an amused smirk painted across his face.

“Lately, just the one, I was more into that when I was younger” Ian replied casually, quickly realising how overtly suggestive his words sounded and wondering if he subconsciously did it on purpose.

The brunette clearly picked up on the subtle meaning behind the words as well if the sudden glint in his eye was any indication. “I must be special then”

“Maybe you are” Ian said, words slipping out as if someone had reached into his throat and pulled them out physically. The slight hitch in the other man’s grin informed him that he realised the red head hadn’t meant to say that and he was delighting in his mistake, grin hidden behind the filter of his cigarette.

 “Well, where I’m from, someone does you a favour you owe ‘em, so anything you need Gallagher, anything at all, just say the word” Mickey said, voice dropping several octaves in a very sinful way.

Ian knew he could think of several things he’d like Mickey to do for him but he was pretty sure some of them were illegal in several states in America and looked down upon in the bible. Plus y’know, there was the whole boyfriend thing.

“I’ll keep that in mind” he replied sounding a bit more breathless than he’d like but feeling like less like a 14 year old school girl the longer he spent in the other man’s presence.

The brunette didn’t reply, just gave him a knowing look from underneath his lashes and flicked his cigarette over the balcony on his way back in. The red head found he was able to breathe easier once the other man was gone and proceeded to stay standing outside for another 10 minutes just to kill time. By the time he headed back inside Isaac and Mickey were standing over by the door saying goodbye. Ian didn’t know whether to feel ecstatic or upset at this development. He vaguely heard them making plans to meet up again soon before Mickey gave Isaac a friendly slap on the shoulder.

And when Mickey turned his head to shoot him a final smirk his whole stomach jumped and he felt a jolt down his spine that made something tingle deep within his core.

*

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Thank you for taking the time to read.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr if you want: glassheartxo.tumblr.com


	3. Prelude

Ian Gallagher had been having a very hard time looking at his boyfriend ever since he first laid eyes on his wet dream of a (half) brother. At first he hadn’t felt too guilty about the situation, so what if he happened to have a new masturbation fantasy? It was just some harmless fun; no one was getting hurt by it so why feel bad?  And maybe he was indulging in said activity more often than usual but he just had a healthy sex drive, always had.  Ian was very good at playing pretend, always had been, but the night he came while having sex with his boyfriend while thinking about fucking his brother he knew he might have overstepping some boundaries. When he woke up the next morning he felt dirty and uncomfortable like he had just had a one night stand and he was finding it hard to look Isaac in the eye. When he thought about the fact that he had initiated the sex because he was turned on thinking about Mickey and he needed a distraction, the guilt started increase exponentially. He knew if he spent one more minute in the apartment he might crack so he thanked the old Gods and the new ones that it was his day off. He quickly shot off a text to Alice asking if she wanted to meet up because he knew Patrick was heading to a Beyonce concert that day and far be it from him to get in way of a man and Queen B.

He found himself nearly crying with relief when she said she was free all day and he quickly jumped into the shower before setting off. Alice was waiting for him outside their favourite bar when he arrived and he felt like never letting go when she pulled him in for a hug.

“Jeez what has you so emotional today?” she asked, voice muffled by his chest.

“I’m feeling mentally fragile” he muttered into her hair before releasing her from the borderline octopus grip he had trapped her in.

She gripped his arms in her hands and gave him a thorough once over before declaring, “You need to get some vodka in you fast.”

He found that he couldn’t agree more.

**

 

Mickey woke up to his bedroom door slamming against the wall and found himself reaching for the gun under his pillow instantly. When he heard a long drawn out groan he quickly heaved a sigh before flicking the safety back on and flopping on to his back to survey his visitor. Svetlana’s makeup was completely smudged making her look slightly crazy and her hair strongly resembled something out of a Tim Burton drawing. She flung her high heels haphazardly in the direction of his wardrobe and proceeded to crawl up the bed until she was right beside him. He noticed the strap of her dress was ripped and wondered what she had gotten herself into before she unceremoniously pulled it off and climbed under the covers in just her bra and underwear.  He gave her a minute to bury down into the covers like an overgrown toddler before speaking.

“You actually look so fucking rough right now that I don’t whether to make you a cup of tea and give you a hug or kick you out of my bed” he drawled, voice scratchy from lack of use.

“Both good options but I prefer mine” she replied narrowing her eyes.

“Which is?” he prompted with a raised eyebrow.

“Rainbow boy keeps mouth shut and I do not smash his dick with hammer” she replied in a very matter of fact voice.

“I’m a lucky man” he muttered back with fake awe in his voice that had her smiling.

He yawned and reached for his nightstand to pull a cigarette out of his pack. He pushed himself up against the headboard figuring he might as well make the most of his wake up call. He had barely taken two drags before a manicured hand was reaching to pluck it from between his lips.

“Always so nice to have you visit, how did you get in anyway? You left your key here last week when you came over trashed” he grumbled while lighting another cigarette for himself.

“Your brother let me in” she replied while exhaling a plume of smoke from her nose.

He vaguely remembered letting Iggy and Colin come back with him from the club because they had been too fucked up to get home. He noted unhappily that the beginnings of a hangover were starting to form in the back of his head and prayed another few hours in bed would help him avoid the worst of it. He knew realistically he should probably kill Svetlana for waking him up at 5 am but he was the idiot who gave her the spare key and told her she could come over whenever she wanted. Her apartment was in a very dodgy area and he didn’t like her walking back to it late at night, he had heard all too often the kind of things that could happen to women walking the streets at night.

He was drawn from his thoughts by the woman in question letting out a soft sigh and he proceeded to stub his cigarette out and lie down beside her once again.

“Well, out with it Moaning Myrtle” he demanded giving her a nudge with his leg.

“Men are stupid fucking idiots, I knew there was reason I prefer women, but still I agree to date with man” she replied, heavily accented voice dripping in annoyance.

“Did you fuck him?” he asked bluntly earning a look from her that suggested he was an idiot.

“Yes obviously, otherwise it would be complete waste of time”

“I’m guessing someone didn’t get her O on” he said with a hint of a smirk.

“No of course not, men are shit in bed; I stick with girls from now on” she replied with a displeased sniff.

“Okay, that is not true; because I may be a Y chromosome enthusiast but I would definitely rock your world. I could turn you out, you’d be worshipping at the altar of dick for the rest of your life” he said with a confident smirk which caused Svetlana break into a wide smile.

“Maybe you have already” she with a grin that was nothing short of mischievous. 

“No, fuck off, we did not have sex New Year’s 2011, alright, let it go” he shot back swotting her away from him as she grinned wider.

“No? We just drank shit tonne of Stoli and decided to sleep naked together yes?” she teased wickedly, fingers digging into his ribcage causing him to jump.

“Yeah, there’s no way I’d touch your freaky flaps” he replied while pinching her arm gently enough to be considered affectionate, exhaustion starting to creep back in slowly.

“Yes well you don’t remember so you will never know” she replied with a coy smile.

“If it did happen and I don’t remember maybe I just don’t remember because that shit was fucking traumatising. Ever think of that?” he retorted while throwing one arm over his eyes to cover them.

“Shh is okay, do not worry, you are still biggest rainbow boy I have ever met” she replied in a soothing voice, pulling the blanket up to her chin and getting comfy.

“That’s great chatty Cathy, now do you wanna stop yapping or am I going to have to kick you out?” he murmured, turning onto his stomach to press his face into his pillow.

He listened to Svetlana mumble something back, already half asleep and found he couldn’t complain too much. He knew deep down that if his father followed through on his demand for him to marry a woman, at least he had one he could tolerate if necessary. If any woman was going to be his beard, it was going to be Svetlana.

**

 

When Mickey awoke the next day to the sound of said woman screeching his name like a pterodactyl he felt his affection for her start to recede back into the recesses of his heart.

“What the fuck woman?” he snapped throwing back the blanket violently. He was slightly less angry to see she came with the peace offering of coffee but he was still far from amused.

“Your brothers tell me to wake you, they want to talk but are too pussy to come in here so I show them how it’s done” she replied with an arched brow.

“Aren’t you just a peach?” he snapped back without any real bite before reaching out to take the coffee off her.

Once he had drained it, showered and had his morning cigarette he felt much more compatible with human interaction and dragged himself out of his room to find his brothers playing X-Box.  He grunted out some form of greeting and threw himself down on the couch beside Iggy who gave him a similar non-syllable grunt back.  He watched them play for a few minutes before interrupting.

“Did Paco report back to you on the shipment last night?” he asked while stretching casually.

“Yeah man, all the coke was accounted for, him and the boys packaged it themselves and brought it to the warehouse” Iggy replied while continuing to bash the buttons on the controller violently.

“Then what did you want me for?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah I forgot, you know that guy you were paying to smuggle the guns into Mexico on Saturday? Well he asked is there any chance you could find someone else to do it because his wife is due to have her kid any day now and he doesn’t want to be all the way in Mexico in case she goes into labour while he’s gone” Iggy said with an apologetic shrug, anticipating his brothers displeasure.

“Fuck sake, my boys are all busy for the week, only one who’s free is Jimmy and I wouldn’t fucking trust him with an operation this big after last week. Can’t you just fucking do it? You’re the best at moving shit across state lines anyway” Mickey pointed in an exasperated voice.

“Alright man calm down I’ll do it but you owe me” Iggy replied with a shrug.

“I owe you? Fuck off, you owe me about 10 favours already so no, I don’t owe you” Mickey said in an incredulous voice.

“I know but it was worth a try” he responded with a shit eating grin on his face. Mickey found himself rolling his eyes and walking way before he could slap him. He was almost at the fridge when Iggy called his name.

“What now?” he shot back.

“We were meant to go to Isaac’s for a few drinks on Saturday but I’ll be gone now so maybe we could do it tonight? I’m busy every other night this week so it’s the only option” he half-shouted so Mickey could hear him across the room.  At first Mickey was about to tell Iggy that he couldn’t give a shit, he didn’t really get on with his half-brother that great anyway but when he remembered a certain redhead he found himself smirking.

“Yeah sure, tonight’s good” he replied with a grin.

**

 

By the time Ian had downed his first drink and told Alice his story she was looking at him with a raised eyebrow that let him know he was probably right to think it was a bit inappropriate.

“But like, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not wrong to look at someone else, or think about them… or fantasise about them” he said weakly, voice withering from the look his friend was casting his way.

“Technically no it’s not, it’s totally innocent fun when done _appropriately_ ” she replied, placing strong emphasis on the last word.

“And what counts as inappropriate?” he asked in a sheepish voice.

“Using someone under than your partner, say for example, oh I don’t know, his brother, as your sole fantasy for getting your rocks off” she answered with a shrug.

“I had a feeling that might be your answer” he muttered while running his hand through his hair. He pulled himself out of his seat to go order another drink and took a minute to wallow in his own self-imposed misery while waiting. By the time he went to sit down again he was mentally beating himself up for his own wandering mind. Alice cocked an eyebrow at his forlorn expression and he sighed loudly while slumping down into his seat.

“Should I feel guilty for my thoughts? I mean in all fairness, it’s not like I can control them, my mind just tends to wander where it wanders”

Alice let out a laugh at his question and shook her head before answering. “Guilty? Fuck no, I can’t _count_ the amount of times I’ve fantasised about someone else other than the person I’m fucking so maybe I’m not the best moral compass but whatever, it’s your head man, that’s private to you.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re hardly a pillar of integrity” Ian replied with a grin on his face.

“Enough of that cheek, I’m a real lady” she gasped whole holding a hand over her heart dramatically.

“A real lady who used to plan inter-dorm orgies back in college?” he teased while nudging her leg under the table.

“Shh you, I believe the politically correct name for such gatherings now days is LGBT society” she said with a wink that set them both off laughing.

By the time Ian left to head home he was feeling slightly tipsy and much more relaxed than he had been in days. Even riding the packed train didn’t manage to dampen his spirit as much as it usually did and he was whistling to himself happily by the time he reached his street. His phone had been dead for hours so he had no idea what time it was or if Isaac was even home but he wasn’t too worried either way.

It wasn’t until he pushed open the front door and saw the source of his fantasies sitting on his couch that he began to curse himself for not having charged said device.

Isaac, who seemed thankfully unaware of Ian’s inappropriate thoughts, stood up and waved him over with a smile. It took Ian a good minute to realise there was two other guys in the room, both dirty blonds with tattooed arms who gave him a quick once over.

“Ian, these are my other brothers, Iggy and Colin”

Ian managed to force out a vaguely confident hello which they both returned with matching grins. He could tell immediately that they were both the laid back type and he knew they would be easy enough to get along with. He decided to ignore the burning blue eyes of a certain someone while he took a minute to gather himself. It was while doing this that he then noticed the seating arrangement, the extremely terrible seating arrangement. Isaac had managed to steal the one armchair for himself and was sitting comfortably draped across it, which left the couch as the only available option. The couch that already had three people sitting on it.

Before Ian could make up some excuse to walk off Mickey proceeded to shove his brother’s none too gently to the side causing them both to protest angrily.

“The fuck Mick?”

“What are you doing man?”

“I’m making room for Gallagher to sit down, or would you rather make him stand there like a fucking spare part in his own place?” Mickey replied with a raised eyebrow that had them both shutting up with minimum grumbling.

He turned to pierce Ian with that hypnotic too-blue stare and tilted his head towards the space he had made between himself and the arm of the couch. Ian knew realistically he should make up an excuse; there was no scenario in which sitting that close to the other man was a good idea, but before he could stop himself he was dropping down onto the couch beside him. He immediately regretted his decision.

The space between him and Mickey was non-existent, they were completely pressed together from shoulder to thigh and Ian could feel the burn bone-deep inside him where their bare arms were pressed together, brushing slightly with every rise and fall of their chests. The heat coming off the other man was distracting and this close he could smell his cologne perfectly which was making his breathing feel heavier. He considered trying to shift away slightly but he was completely trapped between the arm of the couch on one side and Mickey on the other. He listened to the chatter of the other men all around him and was grateful that Isaac didn’t have a perfect view of him from where he was sitting, otherwise he might have seen his feeble efforts to get his heart rate under control.

After a pathetic attempt at trying to look straight ahead he began to slyly look at the man out of the corner of his eye. Ian immediately noticed that unlike the other day, the other man was wearing a tank top which perfectly showed off his shoulders and biceps in such a sinful way that it should be illegal. The brunette had perfectly muscular, well defined arms that he had no doubt would feel very good to touch, not that he thought about such things of course. His eyes were drawn to the other man’s tattoos which he hadn’t noticed the other day because of the shirt.

The most obvious one, apart from the knuckles, was the half sleeve on his left arm that was made up of lots of different tattoos, all in black and white, except for the rose in the centre which was red. There was so many in the design that he couldn’t possible pick them all out but he spotted a few such as a skull, a compass, some kind of bird and a word in a language he didn’t quite recognise which he decided was probably Ukrainian. He had a rose that was quite similar to the one on his sleeve on his right hand and Ian was was surprised he hadn't noticed it before. Apart from that, the only other visible one was on his right side, a line of roman numerals running along his collarbone that was partially obscured by the strap of the tank. Ian didn’t even bother trying to hazard a guess at what the numbers read, too distracted by the other man’s pale neck and shoulders to bother trying to figure it out. He doesn’t know how long he stared but he quickly whipped his eyes away after realising that he was being completely obvious.

After a minute he registered the feeling of eyes burning into the side of his head and peeked up to see Mickey looking at with him with a hint of amusement in his eyes. Their proximity on the couch meant that their faces were only a few inches apart and Ian found his breath hitching when their eyes met. The sounds of the other people in the room started to fade the longer Mickey looked at him until he completely forgot they weren’t the only people in the room.

“You okay there Gallagher? You look a bit dazed” the brunette inquired with a perfectly raised eyebrow.

“M’fine, just a bit tipsy” he replied quickly, tongue feeling heavy and useless in his mouth.

“Tipsy huh? Well that’s a good start but by the end of this night you’ll be way more than tipsy” Mickey said with smirk that made Ian’s insides simmer.

“That a fact?” he asked with a raised eyebrow of his own.

“It will be when I’m through with you” the brunette answered, voice dropped slightly in a way that made Ian feel like they might be slipping into dangerous territory.

“I look forward to it” he replied, voice also coming out huskier than he given it permission to.

He could see the way Mickey’s eyes darkened slightly at his words and he felt a spark of electricity run through his veins. He felt his own breathing start to get heavier, his face growing warm and his heart rate picking up slightly.

And when the other man’s tongue darted out to wet his lips he couldn’t help but follow the movement, eyes tracing along the path the muscle had made. He managed to pull his gaze away from the other man’s lips for a few seconds; eyes meeting again like two magnets in a way that made him feel transfixed. This time it was Mickey who broke the connection first, eyes darting down to focus on the red heads lips in a way that made him feel like he was about to catch on fire. His fingers were twitching like crazy in his lap and he was dying to reach out and card his fingers through the other man’s dark hair, find out if it was as soft as it looked. When the brunette proceeded to drag his bottom lip between his teeth Ian was about 5 seconds away from tearing his clothes off before being rudely reminded that they were not in fact, alone.

“Mick, Mick, dickhead!” Colin called out before reaching over to smack him hard on his right shoulder, effectively shattering whatever spell had been anchoring the two of them into their own private fantasy world.

Ian instantly noticed that they had subconsciously started to turn towards each other during the conversation and had literally been poised to pounce before being interrupted. He quickly caught Isaacs’s eyes and breathed a sigh of relief when he realised that Colin had more than likely been blocking the two of them from sight until he moved. Either that or he was totally okay with him eye fucking his brother because he looked perfectly normal.

“What?” Mickey barked out irritably, rounding on his brother with a pissed off look.

“Calm down killer, I was just saying to Isaac about Jamie and the coke” the blonde replied with an unhappy look on his face.

Mickey’s face softened slightly at this and Ian could see a hint of something painful flash through his eyes. “Yeah, he’s a fucking liability; he’s going to get himself killed at the rate he’s going”.

“I know man, I just feel like maybe we should do something about it” Iggy added which had Colin nodding in agreement.

“You two don’t need to be worrying about this shit, let me handle it okay?” Mickey replied quietly, tone letting the other two know to drop the topic immediately and back off. Iggy nodded stiffly and Colin’s eyes dropped down to examine his shoelaces, silence dominating the room for a moment. After a minute Iggy shrugged casually and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a baggy of weed and held it up with a grin.

“Anyone want to get disgustingly high?”

There were grunts of agreement from the other two but Ian could see Isaac’s posture getting defensive and stiff from where he was sitting. He watched Iggy roll a few joints in silence, looking unsure of what to do, while the other brothers chatted aimlessly to each other.  Ian watched him like a hawk waiting for the inevitable hissy fit and he wasn’t disappointed when he saw the flash of annoyance in his boyfriends face when Iggy place the joint between his lips.

“I’d rather you didn’t smoke that in here” he stated in a voice that he probably thought was commanding but sounded shaky at best.

Iggy simply raised an eyebrow at him before casting a doubtful look at his brothers who had matching expressions on their faces.

“I take it you don’t want to share one then?” Iggy asked sarcastically with a smirk that invited Isaac to argue but unsurprisingly, he simply shook his head and gave up.

“That’s fine, Colin and I can share one and Ian and Mickey can share this one” he said casually while passing it over to said brunette.

Isaac eyes widened slightly at this and he pinned Ian with an unimpressed look that said he wouldn’t be happy if Ian joined in. He tore his eyes away from judging green ones and instead focused on picking at the hole in jeans, the weight of his boyfriend’s gaze crushing him. By the time he looked up again Colin was back in his original position which meant that he was mostly blocking him from the blonde’s judgemental looks. He risked glancing at Mickey from the corner of his eye while Iggy and Colin were busy chatting to Isaac again and found himself hypnotised by the plumes of smoke being expelling from between those perfect lips.

When blue eyes met his he didn’t even hesitate to reach out when the brunette held the joint out to him. Their fingers brushed as he passed it over and Ian felt a jolt run down his spine that nearly made him drop it. He knew the other man had seen him jump, the wicked curve of mouth saying it all, so he quickly took a long drag and hoped the weed would dissipate his feeling of embarrassment. The drugs quickly entered his bloodstream causing him to instantly relax, brain getting fuzzier and his body getting warmer with each pull off the joint. Ian had loved getting high in his teens; it was the perfect remedy for stress, like slipping into a warm bath. He found himself smiling contentedly when he was passing it back and Ian could clearly see the amusement in the other man’s eyes.

They spent the next 2 hours chatting amongst the group, which quickly descended into shouting once the vodka got introduced into the equation. Around 1 in the morning Iggy had loudly suggested that they play X-Box which was met with shouts of approval and more vodka. Ian was warm and content from where he lay pressed against the sofa and he was having the most fun he’d had in ages. He had been getting on really well with Iggy and Colin, quickly discovering that they were both really funny guys that were easy to talk to and Isaac was being much more laid back than usual which Ian appreciated as he had a tendency to be very high strung. However, Ian was pretty sure the main reason for his happiness was the man sitting beside him.

 _Mickey_ , who had a smile that made Ian feel like the most important human being in the world when it was pointed in his direction. _Mickey_ , who made his stomach jump every time he looked him in the eyes. _Mickey_ , who had started to seem even hotter the more intoxicated Ian became. As the night progressed he found himself leaning into the brunette’s side more which he allowed himself to do as a result of the mixture of mind altering substances flowing through his veins. If the other man was unhappy about it he had yet to complain. He had discovered an hour into the night that Mickey had an aunt in South Side that he used to stay with when he was younger and he had been unable to contain the excitement he felt at having some common ground with the brunette. They had sat talking for ages in the balcony while out having a cigarette that turned into three more and Ian had laughed for a good minute when Mickey had described the store he used to always rob whenever he was there.

“I used to work there” Ian had told him with a bright smile as he leaned back against the railing behind him.

“No shit, never saw you anytime I was in there” he replied with a bark of laughter, mimicking Ian’s pose on the railing opposite.

“Maybe you did and just forgot about me?” Ian suggested with a half-smile while taking a drag off his cigarette.

“Nah, trust me, if I had seen you I would remember” he replied with his mouth curling up into a wicked smirk that he hid behind the filter of his cigarette.

Ian’s breath had caught in his throat and he had blushed slightly before clearing his throat awkwardly. Mickey had taken mercy on him that time and had decided to plough on. “It was the Arab guy that used to always be there when I came in, never put up much of a fight”

“Kash? Ah, so you were probably that guy that used to always bust up his face” Ian said with a look of realisation written all over him.

“I personally thought it was an improvement” Mickey said with a shrug and a grin.

“I disagree, I used to be quite fond of that face” Ian quipped without even realising the implication of what he had just said.

“You and him?” Mickey asked with an incredulous look on his face. When Ian nodded he looked vaguely amused and when he spoke his voice was soft. “Didn’t think he’d be your type Gallagher”

Ian found himself growing more confident, emboldened by drink and he raised an eyebrow before replying. “Oh, what do you mean by that?”

“He looked a bit soft, thought you would rather a guy that could wear you out” he said while taking a step closer and exhaling a stream of smoke from between his lips. The dark look in his eyes had Ian standing up straighter in an attempt to use his height to his advantage.

“Well, I’ve yet to find a guy who can wear me out” he replied while staring straight into the brunettes eyes.

Mickey’s eyes narrowed wickedly at that and Ian found his heart stopping for a minute as the other man took a step closer so there was only a few inches between them. When he finally spoke his voice was soft and his eyes were warm with unspoken promises. “Oh he’s out there; you just gotta find him”

With that he had turned and walked back inside, leaving Ian standing in the balcony and struggling for air. When he had finally come back in the brunette had smiled at him knowingly as he sat down beside him. He knew he should have probably stayed away after that, but there he was at 1 in the morning, pressed up against him like nothing had transpired between them, which was technically true in a _physical_ sense, as they watched Colin scream profanities at the TV. Every time Ian caught Mickey’s eyes he found himself losing minutes from his life just staring into them, wanting to feel guilty but being unable to when the other man was staring right back at him with equal intensity. At one point he had been so caught up in trying to peak at the brunette out of the corner of his eye that when Iggy and Colin loudly declared they were going out for a cigarette he had nearly jumped out of the seat causing a smirk to appear on the other man’s face.

Ian quickly got up to check on Isaac who gone to the bathroom feeling sick and when he came back he became acutely aware that they were the only ones left in the room. He knew realistically he could sit anywhere for the next few minutes, he could probably sit in Isaac’s armchair for the rest of the night if he wanted as it didn’t look he was coming back anytime soon. But for some reason he found himself sitting back down into the extremely cramped space beside Mickey. During the time Ian was gone, the brunette had lifted his arm so that it was resting along the back of the couch and Ian could feel the heat of it near the back of his neck like a brand.

After a minute Ian felt movement along the back of the couch that had him suddenly wishing for some kind of contact because he was burning up so badly, the cocktail of drugs and drink making his morals foggy. When he felt the gentle brush of the other man’s thumb across the back of his neck he felt like his body was suddenly on fire and he had to bite his lip to stifle the gasp he nearly let out. He could feel the air getting thicker between them, the atmosphere electric, and when he felt the brunette repeat the motion again he found his eyes flicking towards the other man’s lips like a heat seeking missile. He knew he was staring unabashedly at that point but he was too far gone to care, could feel the weight of the other man’s gaze on him. He was just about to lean in when he heard the bang of the door opening and Iggy and Colin tumbled back in laughing loudly. He felt like he had been doused in cold water and the immediate sense of shame was almost overwhelming.

Mickey just smirked at him before standing up and pulling on his jacket.

“C’mon guys, Isaac’s clearly out for the count, we can go to Nova and see if we can’t get Iggy’s dick sucked, it’s been awhile for the poor fucker” the brunette said while rustling his brother’s hair. Iggy reacted by pushing Colin, who had burst into laughter, towards the door while mumbling about how the two of them were dickheads. Mickey followed behind them laughing and took the time to shoot Ian a final smile over his shoulder before closing the door behind him. Ian ended up sitting on the couch for a good half an hour before dragging himself to bed and climbing under the covers beside Isaac who was passed out.

His hangover the next morning was unholy and he was barely able to keep down his meds. It didn’t help that Isaac started lecturing him almost immediately about smoking weed as he was very much against drugs and heavy drinking. He isn’t ashamed to say he told him to fuck off to work before turning over to go back to sleep for a few hours, he would happily deal with the other man’s anger if it guaranteed him more shut eye.

**

 

By the time work rolled around that evening Ian was feeling much more like a human and was looking forward to a night of dancing after 3 days off. His shift was turning out to be very profitable for him, by the time he reached his break he had made a killing in tips and had managed to score a decent amount of cash by talking some old rich guy into shelling out more to have a lap dance in one of the private rooms. When he got back on the stage he felt extremely confident and was drawing in quite a crowd. He had his eyes closed just listening to the music while he rolled his hips and he was feeling totally energised. That was until he opened his eyes and cast them towards the bar by pure chance. He felt his himself falter slightly before continuing on in a much more subdued manner, because there to the left of him, only 10 feet away was Mickey and he was wrapped around another guy.

It was like watching a car crash, where you know you shouldn’t stare but you can’t help it. Mickey was sitting on the bar stool with his head tilted back while some blonde guy stood between his legs. The longer the kiss went on the less Ian found himself calling it a kiss, it looked more like they were trying to climb into each other’s skin, it was rough and primal. He kept surreptitiously glancing at them periodically to see were they still going and every time he saw that their lips were still locked he felt the pain get sharper and sharper till it eventually turned into a dull ache he couldn’t get rid of it. When the guy eventually pulled back and started to mouth at Mickey’s neck Ian tore his eyes away and decided to keep them focused directly ahead, at least for the rest of the song, regaining some of his lost enthusiasm in an effort to at least keep his crowd. The final chorus had barely faded out when he finally glanced back in time to see the brunette grabbing the blonde by the wrist and dragging him off towards the bathrooms.

The bitter taste in his mouth lingered there for the rest of the night.

The first thing Ian did when he got home that night was wake up his boyfriend and attempt to literally fuck the memory away. He was gripping the other man’s hips as firmly as he would allow as he thrust into him but no matter how much the blonde seemed to appreciate Ian’s work, it wasn’t doing too much for him, if anything it was only making him more frustrated. He decided in a moment of confidence to tighten his grip on the other man’s hips and slam his into him harder but after a minute he could see the other man wincing so he reluctantly slowed down and loosened his grip. He knew he wasn't going to finish, he just wasn't in the right mind frame, so he gave up on the sex and just finished Isaac off with his hand instead, made up a stupid excuse when he offered to return the favour and went into the bathroom to deal with it himself.

When he finally crawled into bed that night he lamented the lack of excitement in his sex life. Isaac wasn’t into anything vaguely rough, he didn’t like bruises, scratches, biting, hickeys... basically anything Ian was in to. He didn’t want Ian to pound him while he pulled his hair, he just wanted to ‘make love’ which Ian supposed was nice and all and he understood the urge but, he realised you kind of have to be in love for that to work. And they weren’t in love, not yet anyway. He didn’t like having sex from behind because he said it was too impersonal and the few times Ian managed to get him on top he could tell he was self-conscious and hated it. Ian needed _passion_ ; he needed someone who he could be rough with, someone who could be rough with him. He wanted to fuck someone who wanted to have sex somewhere other than the bedroom.

He fell asleep that night with images of the one guy he knew would probably be able to fit those criteria flooding his head.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me forever to write because I wasn't happy with it and kept tweaking it. I'm still not 100% happy but it will do. I hope people enjoy reading it :) 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at glassheartxo.tumblr.com


	4. Momentum

Ian Gallagher was no stranger to hardship, he had grown up poor and gay in the South Side, all his clothes had been second hand and he knew what it was to have to work to keep the food on the table.

The one thing Ian had no patience with in life was not getting laid.

He had never struggled to find someone to fuck, had always attracted people towards him like a moth to a flame, he wasn’t used to being told no when he wanted sex. This is why, when his boyfriend turned him down on his offer for an afternoon fuck, he was having a hard time dealing with the rejection.

“I can’t Ian, I have work to do” he replied plaintively while rooting through the wardrobe for his jacket

“You’re not working till 2” Ian pointed out from his position on the bed.

“I’m doing my _other_ job” he said in a very deliberate voice.

“Can you not do that tomorrow?” the red head half-whined while pushing his face into the pillow in front of him.

“No, I’m already behind as it is, Mickey wants the money today” he answered in an exasperated voice.

Ian couldn’t even pretend that news didn’t have him lifting his head up in interest.

“Oh, is he coming here?” he asked in a tone that he hoped sounded nonchalant rather than curious or God forbid, hopeful.

“Yes, he’ll be coming here to smash my head off the island a few times if I don’t have his money” Isaac said while fixing his hair in the mirror.

“I doubt that, he’s your brother” Ian huffed while stretching languidly.

“No, he’s a businessman, a businessman who’s been accused of battery and assault several times, there’s a difference.” the blonde said with a dark look as he pulled on his jacket.

“Besides, we’ve already had sex today” he added.

Ian didn’t feel like telling him he’d also already masturbated in the shower earlier so he went quiet and contemplative for a minute, watching his boyfriend rushing around as he finished getting ready. He decided to make one last attempt at distracting himself and pushed up off the bed. He approached the blonde from behind and snaked his arms around his waist, leaned in till he was close to his ear.

“C’mon, just 5 minutes, I’ll make it quick” he murmured in what he hoped was a seductive tone.

Isaac heaved out an exasperated sigh and pushed his arms away before turning to look at him.

“I have work to do Ian, that’s a bit more important right now. So, can you stop acting like a bitch in heat and wait till later?”

Ian felt like he had been slapped when he heard the disdain in his boyfriend’s voice and found himself dropping back down on the bed. He could see that the blonde looked like he had more to say but instead he just sighed and left the room. When Ian finally heard the click of the front door closing he flung himself back on the bed. It was true he had been hornier as of late but he couldn’t exactly tell his boyfriend the reason. It felt like it was never enough anymore, he was just never satisfied. He didn’t know if that was because his boyfriend just didn’t do it for him or that he had an itch that he’d decided that only a certain someone could scratch. It would be easier to deal with it being the second one if he and Isaac were more sexually compatible but they just didn’t have the chemistry. This was a fact that had become glaringly apparent to him once he had met someone that made him feel like he was about to implode if he didn’t touch him.

The chemistry he and Mickey had was undeniable, _electric_ and they had barely even touched the few times they were together. He felt like his skin was buzzing when he thought about the brunette, a coil tightening in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw his face. The blind want was driving him insane with desire and he had tried channelling his raging new sex drive into his relationship with his boyfriend but his was practically miniscule in comparison. He was a once a day kind of guy, sometimes a no time of day guy when he was too tired. It didn’t help that they often only saw each other for an hour or two some days due to their conflicting work schedules. Ian spent 2 out of 3 of his nights off sitting at home alone because Isaac was at work and it was really starting to get him down. He had tried to bring it up once but he had shot him down and told him not to be so emotional so he had never mentioned it again.

After finally dragging himself out to the balcony for a cigarette, he found his mind once again drifting towards the dark haired man who haunted his every waking thought of recent. He recalled Isaac talking about his criminal activities and had the laptop booted up before he even consciously realised it. He was surprised by the amount of news articles there were about the Milkovich family online. They were mostly about Terry but there were a few about the sons, mainly Mickey. They were mostly to do with speculations and rumours. Many of the articles discussed various crimes that he had been linked with but Ian noticed he was never charged with anything and had never been to jail. There was one article in particular he was drawn to because it had pictures of the brunette in it.

_‘Son of crime lord Terry Milkovich walks free again as case thrown out of court’._

The article contained several pictures of the brunette standing outside the courthouse smoking and laughing with an impeccably dressed blonde woman. Ian couldn’t deny that he looked ridiculously good in a suit and he found himself palming the front of his sweatpants subconsciously. He groaned in frustration when he realised what he was doing and closed the laptop a bit more viciously than usual. _After_ deleting the internet history of course. He flopped down on the bed belly first and muffled a sigh into his pillow, cursing the day he ever met Mickey. He had hoped if he just lay there long enough the spike of desire would fade but when he was still fully hard after 5 minutes, he realised he was fighting a losing battle. All he could fantasize about was kissing the other man, his tongue in his mouth, his hands slipping into the other man’s pants…

He became quickly aware of the dull throbbing sensation that had started in his groin and he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Turning onto his side slightly, he subconsciously ran a hand over his flat stomach and found himself nearly gasping with a sudden powerful need. He finally flipped onto his back and let his hand trail under his sweatpants with no underwear on to act as a barrier. The worst part was that he knew that he wasn’t even doing it because he was bored or horny. He was doing it because he _needed_ to, the desire so acute he felt like he was going to burst if he didn’t. He started off slowly at first, palming himself rather than anything in particular, but the urge quickly built and he gripped himself properly and started to move his hand. The dryness was irritating at first so he quickly stopped to grab the lube before continuing, pushing his pants down to free his throbbing erection.

He finally starting moving his hand slowly, thumb pressing on his head with every upward stroke and squeezing the base as he moved down, the action mimicking the clenching of the body he so desperately wanted to be inside. He couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to actually get the brunette alone and do the things he had only dreamt of since he had met him. What it would feel like, that dark hair brushing along the inside of his thighs as he sucked him down. How he would look down on his knees in front of Ian, blue eyes dark with desire as Ian thrust into his mouth. He felt his body go taut as his muscles clenched and he actually moaned quite loudly. He trailed his other hand across his chest imagining Mickey on top of him, under him, looking up at him, kissing his neck, feeling his breath against his sensitive skin. He wanted to feel the other man pressed against him, hear him gasp and moan and scratch and bite. He fantasised about what it would be like to be inside the other man, would he be as tight as Ian hoped.

He then started to wonder what it would feel like to have the other man inside of him, a thought that surprised him even in his aroused state as he normally had no interest in bottoming for anyone. The strange fact was that he honestly didn’t care, knew that if the other man was to come through the door and say he only wanted to top he’d be bent over in a heartbeat. He found that during his internal daydream, the hand he wasn’t touching himself with had started to subconsciously slide between his legs, circling his rim in a way that had him moaning softly. He gently pressed inside himself and took a moment to adjust, fingers still coated in lube from before. He sometimes inserted a finger inside himself when he was feeling particularly horny so he wasn’t a complete stranger to such activity. He slowly worked the digit in and out while whimpering to himself softly at the sensation. Feeling himself growing bolder, he decided to press another finger in, wincing slightly at the intrusion before growing used to the feeling. He removed his fingers and flipped over onto his stomach before pushing back in, choking out a whimper when he grazed his prostate. 

He spent the next few minutes sliding slick fingers in and out of himself before giving up and focusing solely on massaging that spot inside him with his fingertips and mewling desperately at the sensation. He added the third finger suddenly making himself yelp but the pleasure building at the base of his spine quickly made him forget. He was lost in his pleasure, rubbing his throbbing cock against the sheets underneath him for relief as he worked towards his release. He was completely wet with pre-cum at that point and the warmth building in him from the dual sensations was incredible. His skin was burning and he was moaning Mickey’s name repeatedly, hissing through his teeth while imagining pounding into him, the other man pushing into him, hips being held in place and dark marks being sucked into skin.

The heat pooling in his groin was white hot and he felt like he was going to explode as he relentlessly rubbed his prostrate in time with his frantic thrusts. He slipped his hand underneath him to grip his cock and it took barely three strokes before white spots started to appear in his vision and the fire in groin intensified. His orgasm hit him like a freight train and he didn’t hold back as he came, hips bucking as he arched his back and practically screamed the other man’s name as he covered his stomach and the sheets underneath him with evidence of his pleasure.

He struggled to take deep breathes as he came down from his high, body tingling as he pulled his fingers out. His legs were shaking and he was exhausted but he knew he had to clean himself off so he reluctantly dragged himself to the shower and tried to keep his feelings of guilt at bay.

 

**

 

Mickey was trying his best to ignore the high pitched shrieks of the two women who were discussing Mandy’s new flavour of the month in painful detail. After another 5 minutes of staring at the newspaper in front of him he slammed it down on the coffee table and sighed loudly.

“I’ve read the same sentence 27 times”

“Maybe you should try to engage your guests in conversation rather than read the newspaper dickhead” Mandy shot back with a raised eyebrow.

“You two are around too often to be considered guests. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking of ringing the CDC and telling them I’ve discovering a new type of parasite. You’re like a rash I can’t get rid of” he replied dryly while lighting a cigarette.

“Rainbow boy would know all about rashes, he spends most of his time fucking strangers he meets at club” Svetlana said with a sharp smile.

“Because you’re a paragon of purity aren’t you Lana? And you’d probably drop your panties for a bag of chips” he added while pointing at Mandy. He had to duck very fast to avoid the couch cushion being flung at him.

“Fuck off Mick” she replied smoothly while smoothing out her top primly and avoiding eye contact.

“This is my apartment, you fuck off bitch” he shot back while throwing his legs across Svetlana’s lap so he could kick Mandy. They lapsed into silence for a moment before the girls quickly launched back into their conversation. After the third giggle from Svetlana he realised that in about 10 seconds, he was going to stop playing ‘Who shall I kill first?’ in his head and just start going for whatever felt natural.

“This right here is why I could never fuck a girl ever again, all this squeaky, giggling bullshit, I can’t bare the stupid high pitched sounds girls make during sex” he said which caused both the girls to raise their eyebrows at him.

“Are you sure the reason you could never fuck a girl again isn’t partly to do with the fact you’re a raging homo?” Mandy asked with a smirk.

“Or that you secretly hate girls?” Svetlana added.

“Woah, woah hold the fucking phone there Judge Judy, I don’t hate girls. I think women are beautiful and all, I just don’t wanna fuck them. I have a lot of respect for women, who did I put in charge of the brothel Svetlana? Who did I put in charge of my strip club? _You_ Mandy. What gender is my lawyer? _Female._ I think women are well able to get shit done, I just don’t want to touch them or listen to them squeal like baby pigs during sex” he replied in an offended tone that had the girls conceding his points.

“Calm down there Susan B. Anthony, no one’s questioning your dedication to the cause” Mandy teased. He rolled his eyes and put his cigarette out in the ashtray. Svetlana excused herself to the bathroom leaving him and his sister alone for a minute. He was enjoying the silence before Mandy finally broke it again to his dismay.

“Oh, by the way, Molly wants to know will you pierce her tongue some day this week after school?”

“Fuck off, she’s too young” he scoffed while stretching.

“She’ll be sixteen in a few weeks Mick, you got your first tattoos at 13” she said pointedly while nodding at his knuckles.

“Yes and they are a clear indication of child neglect if I ever saw one” he mumbled back.

“C’mon Mick don’t be such a hypocrite, you have loads of tattoos, all she wants is to get her tongue pierced” Mandy pleaded nudging him with her foot repeatedly.

“I have like 6, calm down.”

“Yeah but the arm one counts as like 20 because it’s technically loads of tattoos formed into a pattern” she replied with a shrug.

“Fine, but she’s paying for it herself” he huffed while crossing his arms in annoyance.

He vaguely heard Mandy mutter something that sounded like ‘yeah I’m sure you’ll make her pay’ followed by the words ‘bitch whipped’ but he chose to ignore it for the sake of his sanity. He was contemplating what to do with his free day when he remembered he had to go get the money off Isaac. He let out a low groan and hit his head against the back of the couch as Svetlana dropped back down beside him.

“What is wrong?” she asked while repositioning his legs on her lap.

“I forgot I have to go to Isaac’s to get the money, there’s always fucking something” he sighed in annoyance.

“Oh yeah, I heard he has a new boyfriend, what’s he like? Eye candy?” Mandy said with a gleam in her eye as she eagerly awaited the gossip.

“He’s pretty fucking hot, but he’s totally bored with blondie, it’s so painfully obvious” Mickey answered while trying hard to hold back a smirk.

“How do you know?” Svetlana prompted with a knowing look on her face. He could never hide anything from that woman.

When he gave them a careless shrug he could see the moment the light bulb popped up over Mandy’s head and her mouth opened slightly in realisation.

“No Mick, you’ve so been flirting with him haven’t you?” she demanded while crawling closer on the couch till she was nearly on top of Svetlana.

“Just a little bit, it’s totally harmless fun” he replied while raising his hands in a move to placate her.

“You do not know how to have harmless fun, innocent flirting to you is fucking in a bathroom stall” Svetlana said which had Mandy nodding smugly in agreement.

“There will be no fucking in a bathroom stall, Jesus you two are thirsty” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“So nothing has happened?” Mandy asked sceptically.

“Nope nothing has happened; I’m not touching his dick without his written consent”

“And if he gave it?” she added dryly.

“Then I can make no promises” he replied in a very matter of fact tone.

“You’re a very bad man” Mandy said with a sigh as stood up and raised her hands above her head, spine cracking audibly as she stretched.

“I ain’t the one with a boyfriend; I’m free to fuck who I want”

“He’s your brother’s boyfriend” Mandy pointed out with her hands on her hips.

“Oh please, I’m more related to Lana than that douchebag, I’ve known the guy for like 3 years” he said with a scoff.

Mandy rolled her eyes before shrugging and walking towards the kitchen.

“Who wants pizza?”

**

 

By the time the evening rolled around Ian was feeling restless and counting down the hours till he could get out of the house. Isaac wasn’t likely to be home for another half an hour, Ian had his schedule down to a T at that point, knew it took 20 minutes for him to walk back. He was in and out of the balcony all evening, boredom starting to suffocate him as the loneliness of the apartment took hold of him. He was out having his 5th cigarette in an hour when there was a knock on the door. His first thought was that it was Isaac even though he wasn’t due home for another 10 minutes, but then he realised that he had a key and thus, had no reason to knock. He then remembered the conversation he and his boyfriend had earlier that day and he felt his heart start to race. _Mickey._

As he approached the door he tried to steel himself but he couldn’t fight the traitorous feeling of excitement forming in the pit of his stomach. The feeling only intensified when he pulled open the door and laid eyes on the other man. When the brunette’s lips started to form a smirk the sight dazed him and he lost all use of his tongue momentarily.

“Hey Red, can I come in or would you rather I stand out here in the cold?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, sorry come in” he said quickly while stepping to the side. The other man brushed against him slightly as he walked past and the air around him felt electrified at even that simple touch. He stopped in the middle of the room and turned to look at the redhead.

“Isaac here?”

“No, he’s at work, won’t be home for a few minutes” Ian replied while walking towards the window in an attempt to put a bit more distance between them.

He noted that it had started to rain heavily, the sounds of the raindrops hitting the window quite audible in the silence. To his relief _and_ disappointment the other man only walked as far as the couch before resting his elbows on the back of it and leaning forward. After catching a glimpse of himself in the reflective glass beside him Ian found himself cursing internally. His hair was completely mussed up from lying in bed all day and he was wearing sweatpants and a hoody, not a strong look for anyone. His feeling of displeasure must have been obvious because he could see the brunette staring at him in amusement.

“What’s up with you Gallagher?”

“I didn’t realise I looked so rough, I wasn’t expecting company” he replied while casting his eyes downward to avoid the other man’s reaction, he didn’t much feel like being teased at that particular moment.

“You look pretty good to me” he said easily which had Ian huffing out a laugh.

“You don’t have to placate me, I’m a grown man and I can handle the truth” he said with a smile on his face to show he appreciated the gesture none the less.

“I’m not in the business of handing out platitudes Gallagher, honesty is kind of my thing, even if it’s the kind people don’t wanna hear. When I say you look good to me, it means I wouldn’t mind coming home to my apartment and finding you sitting there looking like that” he said softly, eyes roaming over Ian’s body before settling on his face once more.

Ian couldn’t help but flush bright red at the other man’s words, all responses turning to dust in his throat and evaporating. His chest felt pleasantly warm and he knew he was probably being very obvious but, at that particular moment in time he was admittedly, slightly smitten. Before Ian could form a semi-intelligible thanks the other man was grinning at him in amusement.

“You look pretty cute when you’re embarrassed; your face goes almost the same colour as your hair”

This had Ian spluttering slightly and he couldn’t keep the indignant look off his face.

“Fuck off” he responded in a tone that he realised sounded rather childish.

His answer had the other man raising his eyebrows at him and Ian realised very quickly that he might have come across as rude rather than embarrassed. His face must have looked slightly nervous because before he could apologise the other man was laughing.

“Calm down, Gallagher, despite whatever picture Isaac may have painted, I only bite on special occasions so there’s no need to look so nervous. I like that you told me to fuck off, I’m used to people licking my ass all the time, gets pretty fucking boring. Only people who normally speak to me like that are my family” he said with a smirk and a fond look in his eye when he mentioned family.

“Well one, I’m definitely not afraid of biting and two, I’m not into licking ass outside the bedroom so don’t worry about it” Ian found himself saying in what he thought just about passed for a casual tone while internally screaming at himself for his words. The return smirk on the other man’s face was completely sinful and Ian found a chill run up his spine.

“I think we’ll get along just fine then” he said with a glint in his eye. Ian was just about to melt under the look the other man was giving him when the brunette’s phone rang shattering the mood. When he saw who was ringing he audibly sighed before turning to face the door and answering it.

“If you’re ringing me with bad news you’re fucking dead to me” he barked down the line.

When the other man exploded into a litany of profanities and threats Ian took that as his cue to step out outside for a minute. The balcony above managed to block out some of the rain as long as you stood away from the edge, a fact Ian was incredibly grateful about. It however, still left for very little standing room when it was raining, a fact that became even more annoying when you took into consideration that the chair was also sitting in the dry spot making it an even tighter fit. He had only taken a few drags of his cigarette when he heard the door open behind him. Ian didn’t bother turning around, the space was so small that if they were to stand facing each other they would be nearly nose to nose and Ian wasn’t sure if his heart could handle the challenge.

He listened to the other man light his cigarette and became hyper aware of his body in a way he wouldn’t be if he could see him.

“You okay?” he found himself asking in an effort to make conversation.

“You ever have someone in your life you just really want to punch in the face? Yeah well, Jimmy is that person for me, he can just be so painfully fucking stupid sometimes” Mickey replied in an agitated tone.

“Is he your friend?” Ian asked lightly.

“Fuck no. He’s just some guy that works for me” he answered while exhaling.

Ian could feel the other man’s breath fanning against the nape of his neck, could feel the heat radiating off his body. The red head felt extremely on edge and he couldn’t take it anymore, so he quickly stepped to the side and leaned back until he was pressed against the small stretch of wall beside the door, which meant that Mickey now had his back to him. That was until the other man turned to face him shamelessly and surveyed him with definite interest. They were only a few inches apart, barely an arm width away and Ian could feel his blood start to rush around his body. He quickly decided that he shouldn’t have budged from his original position.

The brunette’s eyes raked up and down his body in a way that made him feel naked under his gaze and he felt a shudder run through him. The air around them was thick with tension and Ian found himself licking his lips nervously, an action which immediately drew the other man’s eyes. He felt the sudden urge to distract the brunette so he could have a minute to breathe properly.

“Going out tonight?” he asked in a slightly breathless tone.

“Actually, I was going to go to your club, I like it there, the bartenders don’t water down the vodka. Pity you’re not working or you could keep me company” he said in a low voice that went straight to the red heads groin.

“I am actually” he replied way too quickly to seem casual.

“Is that so? Maybe I’ll see you there” the other man said softly, eyes darting down towards the red heads lips briefly.

“Sorry, I’m only allowed to hang out with paying customers” he answered while meeting the brunettes gaze head on.

“I could be a paying customer if you want” Mickey replied without breaking eye contact.

Ian knew he should stop, knew he should walk away. Both of them were done smoking, they should head back inside. So _why_ wouldn’t his feet move? _Why_ was he still talking?

“I think I might like that” he said so quietly it was almost a whisper. He could see the brunettes pupils were slightly dilated and knew his probably didn’t look much different.

“You might regret saying that later”

“I don’t think I will” Ian replied instantly, eyes hovering over the other man’s reddened lips; he had obviously been biting them because they were swollen.

He didn’t notice that they had subconsciously moved closer until he realised their faces were a mere inch or two apart, chests brushing as they breath in and out. His heart started to beat rapidly and he felt heat pooling in his stomach, his skin tingling. Their faces were too close for him to focus on any particular thought but he was completely paralysed by desire. When Ian inhaled all he could smell was Mickey, the warmth rolling off the other man almost suffocating. He ached to be _touched_ , to be _wanted_ intensely by someone, could feel his resolve slipping with every second. He knew in that moment that if the other man were to kiss him he would happily him fuck right there on the balcony with no second thought. But he didn’t make any move to do it. Ian felt himself leaning in imperceptibly, was almost close enough to press their lips together, could feel the other man’s breath against his lips. His mind was filled with thoughts of, kissing, fucking, tasting, _so close,_ touch-

“Ian?” he heard his boyfriend call out from inside the apartment.

Mickey had pulled away and walked back in before Ian could fully comprehend what was happening. He was horrified when he realised how close Isaac had been to catching them. He took several deep breathes in succession and nearly jumped when the blonde popped his head out the door a few seconds later.

“Hey, you okay? Has Mick been here long?” he asked with a strange look on his face.

“M’fine, just a few minutes” he said turning to face the railing to hide the rather obvious effect Mickey had on his body.

“You coming back in?” he asked while glancing inside to survey his brother.

“Yeah soon, gotta get ready for work” he replied while casting his eyes out at the rain.

He knew he was acting strange because Isaac’s face said it all. Even still, he’s not ashamed to say he hid out there for another 10 minutes until he knew Mickey was gone, mind racing with thoughts of possibly seeing the other man that night. He wasn’t sure if he should be excited or nervous.

The fact that he couldn’t decide surely did not bode well.

**

 

That night Ian left for work half an hour earlier so he could have a drink or two before getting on stage, his nerves at an all-time high after his little encounter with Mickey earlier that day. He was halfway through his shift when he spotted said pain in the ass standing at the bar. When their eyes met the other man gave him a pleased look that matched the smirk growing on his face and Ian felt the back of his neck heat up. His last 15 minutes on stage were the longest of his life and he fought to keep his eyes straight ahead in an attempt to focus on the job at hand. He knew realistically he had no reason to approach him, but when he finally jumped down from the podium he found himself making his way across the packed dance floor. He was trying to exude confidence as his feet carried him towards the brunette like he was in a trance. He had almost convinced himself he wasn’t the slightest bit nervous but the minute he was stood in front of Mickey; he knew there was no point lying to himself.

“You were right, you are pretty good” he said while holding his glass up to his mouth, eyes dancing playfully behind the rim.

“I’m full of surprises” Ian responded with a smile that he hoped looked calm and relaxed rather than jittery.

“Oh, I bet you are” the other man replied, eyes drifting down to survey Ian’s non-existent work outfit in a way that had the red head swallowing in anticipation.

Ian was struck by a sudden urge to walk away and decided to lay his cards on the table in an attempt to escape with his dignity intact.

“Well, I’d better go find myself a paying customer, that man over there looks just my type, I should probably go talk to him” Ian joked with a grin while nodded towards a creepy looking old guy who he strongly suspected was homeless.

“Well, I could be a paying customer, but if you’d rather try your luck with grandpa over there you should go for it” Mickey replied with a shrug that didn’t quite cover up the glint of amusement in his eye, as he echoed his earlier words.

Ian felt his mouth go dry and he licked his lips nervously and shuffled from side to side. He had thought Mickey only said all that stuff on the balcony in the heat of moment but he now seemed pretty serious about it.

“Are you?” he asked before he could second guess himself.

“I don’t know Gallagher, am I?” the brunette replied while holding the cash in front of Ian’s face and smiling at him wickedly.

What Ian said next would stay with him forever because he couldn’t quite believe his shamelessness.

“Private room’s an extra 50”

He almost missed the look of surprise on the other man’s face over the screams of ‘ _What the fuck are you doing Ian!?_ ’’ ringing in his head but he definitely didn’t miss the other man reaching out to stick the cash in the waistband of his shorts and leaning back with a raised eyebrow. When the red head proceeded to stare at him for another few seconds, he nodded towards the back in an attempt to get him to make a move.

Ian nodded a bit stiffly before turning and walking towards the private rooms with his heart hammering in his chest. When he reached the door and stepped in he didn’t have to look back to know the other man was right behind him, could feel his presence as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. The private room wasn’t anything particularly special, just a room with red carpet and dark walls. The only piece of furniture was the white leather couch in the centre which Ian was currently having difficulty looking at due to the ridiculously good looking man that was sitting on it. The music from the club filtered into the room through the speakers on the wall so Ian just had to count down from 20 as he waited for the next song to begin. As the new song finally started Ian tossed the money onto the couch beside Mickey and finally met the other man’s eyes.

Ian steeled himself and quickly straddled the other man before he could talk himself out of it. After all, he had _paid_. Fair is fair and all that shit, at least that was his rationale for why he was being so stupidly reckless. He was immediately overwhelmed by the other man’s physical presence and swallowed audibly at their proximity. This close he could see the other man’s eyes perfectly, could smell his incredibly intoxicating scent and feel the waves of heat coming off his body. He took a deep breath and started to gyrate slowly in time with the music, trying his best to get lost in the dance and forget who he was currently hovering above. He rotated his hips rhythmically above the other man’s crotch, close but never actually touching. Ian could feel the warmth growing in his groin, a dark coil of desire forming within him making his muscles tighten and his breath stutter. He risked a glance up at the other man’s eyes and couldn’t hold back a shudder at the obvious desire in them.

The ache in his groin was increasing rapidly leaving him burning and wanting more, already half hard and they had barely touched. He went to give a sharp thrust in the direction of the other man’s crotch but ended up actually rubbing against him, his eyes nearly crossing at the burst of pleasure that shot up his spine. The shock of making contact made him fall forward slightly and Mickey’s hands shot out to catch him before he could head butt him accidentally. He could see the other man’s eyes were shining with amusement and he became hyperaware of the brunette’s hands on his hips, thumbs pressing into him in a way that made feel dizzy.

“You’re not supposed to touch the dancers” he said in a voice that sounded much huskier than he would have liked it to.

“If you want me to move my hands then I will” Mickey replied, voice dropping several octaves lower as he tightened his grip slightly.

When Ian proceeded to resume his dance without argument he could see the smirk starting to form on the other man’s face and he quickly closed his eyes and tried to get lost in the rhythm again. It was going okay for about a minute after that and Ian started to convince himself he could do this with no further incident.

After the third time he accidently brushed up against the brunette he literally whimpered out loud at how good the sensation felt and his eyes flew open in embarrassment, cheeks reddening as he bit his lip. He saw a wicked look flash in Mickey’s eyes before he pulled him down into his lap suddenly, the red head’s body jerking in pleasure when his erection pressed into the other mans, a gasp escaping his lips. He met the brunette’s gaze questioningly, the look in his eyes daring Ian to tell him to stop, fingers tightening so hard Ian was sure they were going to bruise.

Ian knew this was his chance to pull himself away and walk off, there was literally less than a minute left of the song anyway and he’d be done. But he was just so painfully turned on, had been ever since he’d laid eyes on the brunette. His whole body was aching for release; the grip on his hips was making his head spin and his dick throb painfully against the other man’s.

He knew he had surrendered completely when he gyrated his hips against Mickey’s and audibly moaned.

The other man’s grip got even tighter if possible and Ian found himself leaning in closer to the brunette till their chests brushed and his face was nearly pressed into the other man’s neck. He continued swirling his hips into the other man’s crotch, slowly building momentum and biting his lip so hard that it was nearly bleeding. He felt electricity running through his veins and he found himself pushing down harder in order to chase the incredible friction that he so desperately needed. His head was starting to feel foggy with desire and after one particularly well aimed thrust he practically mewled in the other man’s ear. Embarrassment quickly followed the sound and he actually made an attempt to get up which caused Mickey to suddenly slip his hands around till they were gripping his ass and forcing him to stay in place.

The brunettes gaze was predatory and Ian found himself bucking involuntarily at the look of desire in his darkened eyes. He felt his hips start moving again without his consent, slowly at first but soon picking up pace. He distantly noted that the previous song had ended and another had started but he was beyond caring. Mickey suddenly sat up and brought their chests together, one hand on his ass and one hand on his lower back, increasingly the pressure and causing the red head to shudder and whine. When Ian felt the other man’s breath tickle his ear he thought he couldn’t get more turned on, that was until he started speaking to him a low voice.

“Such a pity seeing a guy like you so unsatisfied Gallagher, if you were mine I’d never let you leave the house so worked up and desperate”.

Ian’s thighs tightened involuntarily at the brunette’s words and his hands flew up to grip the other man’s shoulders roughly as he pressed even closer.

“I can tell how much you want it, how badly you need to come” Mickey added, lips dragging tortuously down his neck before coming back up to his ear.

Ian audibly whimpered at the other man’s words and literally started to rut against him wildly, could feel the wet patch forming on his shorts. The worst part was the fact that the other man wasn’t even rubbing back against him, was barely even touching him and he could feel his orgasm building at the base of his spine.

“You need to come Gallagher? Or should we stop?” he teased, his words vibrating straight down to the red head’s groin.

“No, no don’t stop” Ian begged in a voice that sounded completely wrecked, dick throbbing painfully as heat started to pool in his groin.

“What’s the magic word?” Mickey asked with a hungry look on his face as he leaned back to look at the red head.

“Please, please” he moaned as he rolled his hips against the other man’s in a jerky motion, movements starting to get erratic as he got close to his orgasm. He was so close that he felt ready to pass out, knew it was going to be over soon as he clawed at the other man’s back. A glint appeared in the brunette’s eyes before he shrugged almost carelessly and leaned forward.

“Okay” he said simply before reaching one hand up to pull Ian’s hair roughly while simultaneously biting down hard on the juncture where his neck met his shoulder.

Ian’s breath caught in his throat and just like that his back arched and he was falling.

He spilled in his shorts as he clutched Mickey close and let out noises that were closer to sobs than moans as he bucked uncontrollably in the other man’s lap, milking the sensations for as long as he could. He rode out the shockwaves of his orgasm while listening to the rumbling bass of the song playing in the background pulse through him in time with the waves of pleasure wracking him. He was pretty sure he had never came so hard before and was having trouble lifting his head from where it had fallen on the brunettes shoulder. He took deep shaky breathes while trying to compose himself and simultaneously push down his embarrassment.

“Gallagher?” Mickey said, cutting through the ringing in his ears and causing him to look up.

Ian met his eyes and noticed the satisfaction in them before the brunette was placing a hand at the centre of his chest and gently pushing him off.

Ian stumbled back dumbly and stood up, chest heaving with exertion and face flushed with the strength of his release. It wasn’t until the other man was opening the door that he finally realised he had moved.

“Where are you going?” he asked breathlessly.

“To find someone to sort this out, I somehow doubt you’re up for that” Mickey replied while gesturing towards his crotch and smirking at the look of embarrassment on Ian’s face. Ian didn’t reply, mind still incoherent with pleasure.

“See ya around Gallagher” he said while giving Ian one last glance up and down before slamming the door behind him and leaving Ian alone with ruined shorts and equally ruined thoughts.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have strong a feeling I'm going to hell after writing this but I have no fucks left to give because this chapter was a pain in the ass to write and its over 7000 words long. I hope you all all enjoy it :)
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr :
> 
> [glassheartxo.tumblr.com](glassheartxo.tumblr.com)


	5. Temptation

Growing up, Ian had been used to hearing a constant stream of conversation, a by-product of living in one of the world’s noisiest and most energetic families. So on the occasions he was subjected to silence from another person it made him feel extremely jittery and awkward, for example, the silence he had experienced from his best friend when he told her what had happened at work. Her face was a mixture of shocked and amused and he could see she was struggling to form a response that adequately expressed what she was thinking. After a minute of openly staring at him she burst into laughter and leaned her head between her legs.

“Thank you so much for your continued support” he muttered dryly while shifting on the bench they were sat on.

Ian had spent the day after the _‘incident’_ sitting around the house in disbelief and shock, mind racing as he stared blankly at the TV in front of him. On the second day he had cracked and contacted Alice asking her to come out to Brighton Beach to meet him. She had protested at first due to the effort of getting there but he pointed out he was the one always making an effort to go see her and she reluctantly gave in. They had met by the beach to talk and Alice had immediately been taken aback by his silence as his friends had very affectionately told him, _many_ times, he was a chatty fucker. When he had told her what had happened she had been suitably taken aback.

“I’m sorry but oh my god Ian, are you sure that’s not the plot of some porno you saw? Maybe a dirty dream?” she asked with a snort.

“I wish, it would be less embarrassing if that was the case” he responded with a faint flush on his face as he resolutely stared ahead.

“Oh man this is priceless” she said after a minute of smiling to herself.

“It’s not that funny” Ian shot back while Alice continued to smirk in his direction.

“Repeat your story and tell me that’s not funny” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah okay I used my boyfriend’s brother as a human sex toy, shoot me” he sighed while running a hand through his hair.

“Oh man Ian, only you could get yourself into a situation like that” Alice said while lighting a cigarette and passing it to Ian who accepted it gratefully and remained quiet while she proceeded to light one for herself.

“It’s so fucked up; I can’t even change in front of Isaac, I’m making excuses to keep my clothes on at all times, I’ve been getting dressed in the bathroom” Ian groaned while rubbing his face with one hand.

“Why?” Alice prompted with a nudge to the ribs.

Ian lifted his t-shirt to show her the bruises on his hipbones from the other man’s grip. When she proceeded to snort he silenced her with a raised hand, that wasn’t even the worst part. He then yanked the collar of his t-shirt aside to show her the vivid bite mark on the junction between his neck and shoulder. Her eyes widened visibly and she held back a laugh which he appreciated.

“Well that explains why you came in your pants like 12 year old, you always were a kinky little shit weren’t you?” she teased which in turn made him shove her none too gently.

“Shut up” he muttered even though he knew his embarrassment at the validity of that statement was obvious. “It was an accident.”

“Sounds like one hell of an accident; if he actually is bi do you think he could accidently help me out as well?” Alice asked with an indecent look on her face.

Ian rolled his eyes at her and decided to ignore her last sentence.

“Okay okay sorry, total accident I get it” Alice said holding her hands up in an effort to placate him that he begrudgingly accepted with a stiff nod.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, smoking and watching the people below playing in the water. Ian had always liked people watching, enjoyed observing people go about their lives and wondering what their stories were.

“Wanna do something spontaneous?” Alice asked out of the blue.

“I was close to being psychotically manic for 4 months, that’s enough spontaneity for a lifetime” Ian replied dryly.

“All the more reason to do something spontaneous out of your own free will, make some crazy decisions that don’t involve your disease” Alice said while flicking her cigarette butt away and standing up.

When Ian didn’t respond for a minute she started to kick him in the shin repeatedly till he acknowledged her.

“Alright Jesus, what did you have in mind?” he asked while rubbing his sore leg.

“Let’s get a tattoo” she said with a bright grin as she pulled him up from the bench.

 

**

 

Mickey had been having a pretty lazy day in work until his personal pain in the ass showed up to nag him and ruin his perfectly good game of temple run.

“C’mooooooon Mick, it’s just a little piercing” Molly whined while leaning over his back so she could push his phone out of his hands and onto the table in front of him.

He found himself counting to 10 in his head because, unlike his brothers, he couldn’t exactly punch her to get her to shut up.

“If I do this for you, that’s it, no more fucking favours ever” he sighed while leaning forward towards the desk as she further pressed her weight on his back.

“I swear, totally, we’re even forever” she said quickly while smacking her hands together in delight.

The sound of Iggy laughing in the background had him pinning the blonde with a vicious glare.

“Something fucking funny jerk off? He demanded while pushing himself up out of his chair.

“You’re so whipped Mick, its actually kinda sweet” Iggy replied with a shit eating grin that had the brunette presenting him his middle finger for consideration.

He proceeded to pull on his gloves and motioned towards the chair to indicate Molly should sit down which she did with a great deal of excitement. He heaved out a sigh and dragged himself over to stand in front of her.

“Y’know Mick, you have great eyebrows, does Svetlana do them?” his sister asked appreciatively while examining them up close.

“I do my own fucking eyebrows, I’m not incompetent” he replied with a huff.

“Really? Fuck you may do mine someday then” she said with a low whistle that he chose to ignore.

“Right well, it’s going to swell like a bitch so you might wanna stick to eating soft shit for a while afterwards and nothing spicy unless you want to be in agony. You’re gonna have to wash your mouth out with salt water solution twice a day, once in the morning, once at night and every time you put anything in your mouth that isn’t water you’re going to have to use alcohol free mouthwash. No smoking, no chewing gum, no beer, no kissing and no sucking dick” he said with a pointed look as he reached the last bit of the sentence.

“Wow Mick, how did you manage the last few parts when you got yours done” she teased with a grin.

“Fuck off, I told you not to mention that ever” he shot back hotly while Iggy started to laugh in the background.

“Wait, where is it?” Molly demanded, pulling his bottom lip viciously till he opened his mouth accidently.

He wiggled back out of her grip while swatting her hands away roughly.

“I took it out” he huffed while Molly watched on with a displeased expression.

“Ehm, excuse me Mick but I believe when you lost that bet with Mandy you agreed to keep it in for a year, it’s been barely 8 months. You want me to tell her you pussied out? Because I’m sure she has some kind of forfeit penalty she could impose” she replied significantly while raising an eyebrow.

“Alright fine, what’s another four fucking months” he replied bitterly, turning around to find Iggy holding out a stainless steel barbell and ball with a shit eating grin on his face. He begrudgingly snatched the barbell out of the blonde’s hand along with the ball and dragged himself over to the mirror to push it through. When he had it secure he half stomped back over to Molly and presented her his tongue for inspection.

“Good boy, you can continue now” she said with an innocent look that betrayed her true nature.

“Yeah yeah whatever, swish this shit around and then stick your tongue out” he said while rolling his eyes and handing her a paper cup. When she was done he proceeded to grab her tongue and inspect the underside of it for prominent veins before humming to himself and releasing it.

“Right, take this and –“

Mickey was distracted by the sound of the bell over the door ringing and was shocked when he saw who had just walked in.

Fucking Gallagher.

He couldn’t help but grin at the look of shock on the red heads face and felt extremely smug about having put it there. The other man looked torn between bolting and holding his ground and he couldn’t help but hope he chose the latter.

“Fuck me, who’s that?” Molly whispered bringing him slightly back into the moment.

“Isaac’s boyfriend” he replied without tearing his eyes away from Gallagher’s face.

“Wow, what a waste” she muttered with a snort.

“I know right?”

Iggy proceeded to approach Gallagher and his friend and strike up conversation with them causing the red head to finally look away from Mickey.

“He’s a fucking babe, think I have a chance?” Molly murmured which caused Mickey to look at her and raise his eyebrow.

“One, no because he’s gay and two, I already called dibs”

“You can’t call dibs on another man’s boyfriend” Molly said with a look that made her strongly resemble Mandy in a way that freaked him out slightly.

“I can when he looks like that” he replied while glancing at the other man and catching him looking over.

When their eyes met, the red head tore his away guiltily which caused Mickey to grin even wider, which of course drew Molly’s suspicion.

“What’s going on with you two?” she questioned with narrowed eyes as Mickey eyed the bruises on the other man’s hips as he stretched.

“Can you keep a secret? He asked while nodding towards the purple marks on the other man.

When Molly finally saw what he was referencing she covered her mouth with her hand and looked at him in shock. He tried to hold back his smirk but it was impossible, he was just too pleased with himself at that moment in time.

“You’re a bad bad man Mick” she said finally as she shook her head.

“Can you blame me?” he replied with a shrug while casting an appreciative look in Gallagher’s direction.

The redhead was possibly the most attractive human being he had ever laid eyes on and he considering it a criminal offence that he was wasted on someone as boring as Isaac. A guy who looked like that needed to be appreciated properly, and Mickey was only too happy to offer that service if necessary. Ever since the other night in the club he had been able to vividly remember the sounds Gallagher had made when he about to come and he had yet to hear anything as pleasing in his life. He reluctantly dragged his eyes away and refocused on the task at hand.

“Stick your tongue out” he prompted while gesturing towards Molly.

He proceeded to wipe her tongue till it was dry and then handed her the paper to hold under her mouth.

“It’s so you don’t slobber on yourself, keep your mouth open” he said while pulling out a marker from his pocket.

He marked the spot on both sides of her tongue where the needle was going to go and showed her in the mirror so he could confirm the placement. When she nodded he squeezed her knee briefly before grabbing the clamps off the tray. When he had her tongue clamped and the needle in hand he gave her a small smile to calm her down before continuing.

“Right now, deep breathe annnd release” he said while pushing it through quickly. Molly briefly twitched but he noted with pride that she showed no other reaction as he proceeded to push the barbell through and secure it with the ball. He handed her another plastic cup full of solution to swirl around while he cleaned up. When he finally came over with the mirror to show her the piercing he couldn’t help but notice the knowing glint in her eye.

“What?” he asked while inspecting the bar and making sure it was secure.

“Red cannot not stop looking in this direction, he’s so into you Mick” she teased as he pulled his gloves off.

“I know” he said with a grin that had his sister pushing him and laughing.

 

**

 

Alice complained all the way to the tattoo parlour about how all the shops were either Russian or Ukrainian and how living there must feel like living in a foreign country. Ian found he couldn’t disagree; moving to Brighton Beach had been a massive culture shock for him. The area was known as Little Odessa due to the amount of people who had emigrated from Odessa years ago. A large majority of the people in the area spoke Ukrainian and Russian and he lamented the fact that neither he nor his boyfriend knew a single word of either.

When Alice finally spotted a tattoo parlour she had been practically giddy and Ian didn’t have the heart to point out that there was a good chance the people in it wouldn’t speak English very well as the name and notices in the window were not in English. When she pushed the door open and beckoned him inside he realised there was no point changing his mind at that point and followed her with a roll of his eyes.

When he laid eyes on Mickey and his pleased grin he found himself wishing he had killed her years ago to spare himself the torture.

“Oh fuck” he muttered under his breath causing Alice to look at him funny.

“What” she muttered back while examining his face.

“That’s him” Ian said in a pained voice as his friend whipped her head around to survey the brunette, eyes widening with realisation.

“Jesus Christ, he is pretty fucking good looking, I now understand your accident completely” she said with raised eyebrows.

“Alice, shut up” he said through gritted teeth as Iggy approached them with a grin.

“Hey Ian, how you doing? Who’s your friend?” he asked giving Alice an admiring look.

“Hey Iggy, I’m good, this is my friend Alice from college” he answering while nodding towards his black haired companion.

The two of them proceeded to strike up a conversation and she followed him over to look at some of the designs on the wall, she had a keen interest in tattoos and piercings so it wasn't surprising. By the time Ian had met her she already had her lip pierced and had several tattoos but her collection had increased over the years. Ian trailed after them but he wasn't really listening, he was too busy staring at Mickey, a fact he would later deny. The brunette was talking to a pretty girl with long blonde hair tied in pigtails who was wearing a ridiculously short blue summer dress. She looked to be quite young, only in her teens, but that wasn’t what Ian noticed about her. What he noticed most was the fact that she was grinning at him wickedly, smile getting wider and wider every time she caught him looking over.

Ian felt his face growing flushed and he started to feel very twitchy. He proceeded to stretch in an attempt to loosen up his tense muscles and nearly jumped when he heard a sudden gasp from across the store. He glanced over to see the blonde had covered her mouth and was staring at Mickey in disbelief while he smirked back. Before he could figure out what had shocked her, the brunette turned his head and pinned Ian with an appreciate look that had his breath catching in his throat. There was no denying the fire in his eyes and Ian felt his skin grow hotter with every passing second. He couldn’t ignore the feeling of disappointment that momentarily gripped him when the other man finally tore his eyes away.

He watched in curiosity as Mickey proceeded to pierce the girls tongue, admiring how sexy the other man looked when he was completely focused on something. Ian realised he wouldn’t mind having the brunette completely focus on him, a thought which had him mentally berating himself as soon as it crossed his mind.When it was done and the blonde looked over again he quickly pulled his eyes away, but he could feel her stare burning into the side of his head. His heart immediately started to accelerate annoyingly when the other man started to approach and he quickly directed his stare in the opposite direction. He knew Alice was smirking knowingly at him but he decided to ignore her and scan the tattoo designs instead. He heard the brunette start talking quietly to his brother and tried his best to compose his features into a look of disinterest.

“So Ian, what tattoo do you want to get?” Alice teased while leaning into his side.

He resisted the urge to strangle her for distressing him in his time of need and instead thought seriously about the question.

“I was thinking I might get something for my mom” he said quietly.

Alice eyes immediately got softer and she reached out to link her fingers through his in a gesture of comfort. Alice knew the whole story about Monica; she had struggled with bipolar disorder for years, just like Ian, and had killed herself two years ago during a really bad low.

“I know she abandoned us as kids, and all and all she was a pretty shit mother but… she was still my mom. And she was trying so hard to get better before she died, especially when she found out I had it too” he said with a shrug and a half smile in his friend’s direction.

“I think it’s a great idea, what do you wanna get done?” she asked while squeezing his hand gently.

“Well, she really liked cherry blossoms, so maybe something like that?” he questioned out loud while scanning the designs in front of him.

“Perfect, I think I’ll get something random, maybe a portrait of Natalie Dormer’s face on my ass” Alice said with a grin that had Ian laughing back.

He had almost forgotten about his blue eyed problem till he turned around and saw Mickey and Iggy leaning against the desk and surveying them. A wicked glint appeared in Alice’s eyes and Ian barely had time to process her intentions before she put her scheme into motion.

“I’ve decided what I want, let’s do it” she said while addressing Iggy.

The other man just grinned and nodded towards the chair. She turned to shoot Ian a devious wink before following the blonde with a spring in her step. Leaving Ian with Mickey.

The other man shot him an innocent smile in an attempt to look semi-professional before standing up straight and giving the red head an amused look.

“Y’know what you want Gallagher?” he asked without breaking eye contact.

 _‘You’_ he found himself thinking before he could stop himself.

“Yeah I’m ready” he said with a nod, steeling himself for what was about to come.

“Follow me” the brunette said with a wicked look on his face that sent a shiver down Ian’s spine.

Once he was actually sitting on the table the next few minutes were a blur of technical questions that he couldn’t remember due to his nerves. The blonde had skipped past before he sat down with a devious wink towards Mickey that he returned with a grin that promised mischief. Before he knew it he was lying down on the chair and pulling his shirt off so the brunette could place the stencil on his skin. He nodded tightly when the other man got the mirror to show him the position of the tattoo, a cherry blossom going across his left side over the ribs, directly across but slightly higher than his eagle. He listened to the other man fiddling around with the needles and the other equipment, eyes focused solely on one of the posters on wall. He could feel the weight of Mickey’s gaze on the bite mark and he found himself licking his lips subconsciously. The brunette reached out to run his fingers over the bruises on Ian’s hips, an action which caused Ian to twitch so violently that the other man had to use his hands to pin him onto the table. The sting caused his breathing to get a lot heavier and he felt his skin get warmer to the touch.

“You look good all marked up Gallagher” Mickey said while tracing the bite mark on his neck.

“Well I’m glad you like them, they’re impossible to hide” he grumbled while trying to get his heart rate down.

“If you were fucking me you wouldn’t be able to hide them, you’d have too many” the brunette said while fixing him with a predatory look and pushing the tips of his fingers into the bite. The action caused Ian to hiss in pain but it was most definitely the pleasurable kind, the kind he craved.

Before Ian could respond the other man turned the tattoo gun on and the buzz created a very good distraction from their inappropriate conversation. Mickey pulled his chair closer to the table and finally pressed the tip of the needle to the red heads skin. Ian couldn’t help but flinch and draw in a deep breath as he clenched his fist to his stomach. The needle had descended into the skin right over his ribcage nearly straight away and the feeling of it touching bone was enough to make him nearly jolt. He took another deep breath to steady himself but soon enough the needle hit bone again causing him let out a gasp.

“Fuck” he said sharply with a wince.

He hadn’t registered that the gun had stopped till he felt Mickey’s hand run smoothly over his lower side in a soothing gesture.

“Hey, hey relax Gallagher okay?” he said almost kindly while rubbing his thumb over the dip in red heads hip.

“Don’t tell me to relax you prick” Ian hissed as his side throbbed angrily.  His words made the brunette grin and he let out a laugh while scooting his chair closer.

“Just remember to breathe man” he said while starting the needle again, although Ian noted that he kept his free hand on Ian’s hip this time.

He tried to focus on Mickey after that, he didn’t have much choice in the matter seeing he was lying on his side facing him. The fingers on his hip were a warm heavy weight but they created a pleasant distraction from the burning sensation on his ribs. When he winced during a particular sore area he could see the brunette’s mouth quirk up into a half smile that he tried to hide.

“So what’s your tattoo story?” he asked rubbing his thumb in an almost soothing pattern. The motion made Ian feel dizzy for a minute and he zoned out for a second.

“Huh?”

“Your tattoo? I normally don’t ask people because that shits private but you look like you need a distraction”

“Oh, my mom, she liked roses… It’s probably stupid” Ian replied sheepishly.

“Nah man, I get it” he said while pausing the gun and dragging the sleeve of his vest aside to show off the roman numerals on his collarbone. Ian eyes momentarily zoned in on the dark marks on his shoulders he hadn’t noticed before and immediately quashed the irrational longing to mark the other man himself. “I got this for my mom, first one’s her date of birth, second is pretty explanatory.”

“Sorry” Ian replied quietly, hoping he hadn’t made Mickey share his story in an effort to make him feel less awkward about his confession.

“Don’t worry about it, I was 9, I’ve had time to deal” he said with a shrug before starting the gun up again.

“How many tattoos do you have?” Ian asked in an effort to focus on something else other than the fact that he was voluntarily letting someone stab him.

“6, was 13 when I got my first ones, most people guess pretty easily which ones they are” Mickey said while wiggling his fingers momentarily in an effort to draw attention to his knuckles. “What about you?”

“As of right now, just the two. I got the first one when I was 18, I was out of it, not my finest hour” Ian admitted with a tiny shrug in an effort not to move the needle.

“We all make mistakes, I let Iggy tattoo the ghost from pac man into my sleeve once when I was pissed” he said motioning towards his arm and shaking his head.

Ian burst into laughter which forced the brunette to stop and watch him with a smirk playing across his face. “I’m trying to work here Gallagher”

“Shouldn’t make me laugh then” he shot back with a grin.

“Impossible, I’m just naturally witty and charming” the brunette replied with a click of his tongue. The motion drew the red head’s eyes towards a particular detail.

“Have you always had your tongue pierced?”

Mickey’s face visibly soured at his question and he scowled in Iggy’s direction for a minute. “Nearly a year now, lost a bet with my sister and this was my punishment. I’m not allowed to take it out till Christmas but I thought I’d try my fucking luck anyway until shithead one and two found out”

“That explains why I never saw it before” Ian replied while stretching, making the most of his chance to move while the needle was off. His movement drew attention to the lower half of his body as he arched his back and he didn’t miss the way Mickey’s eyes zeroed in on the bruises on his hipbones before flicking up to his eyes suddenly.

“Why, you look at my mouth often?”

“Maybe” Ian replied huskily before he could convince himself to shut the fuck up. He could see the brunette’s eyes darken at his words and he maintained eye contact for another few seconds before finally moving his gaze away and starting the needle again.

“I’m flattered but my first and only love is Jesus” he replied casually while pressing the needle to Ian’s skin and making him momentarily jerk.

“Yeah right, you didn’t get those knees from praying” Iggy replied as he walked past the table.

“Fuck off shithead”

 

**

The rest of the tattooing process passed with relative ease, Alice was done first and Ian was mainly content to lie back and listen to the brother’s bicker, the hum of their conversation creating an almost pleasant backdrop. Alice had gotten a tattoo of a staghead on her thigh to add to her collection and Ian was very impressed at Iggy's skills. When he was done he couldn’t help but smile when he realised that the brunette had placed a permanent mark on him. He then proceeded to mentally berate himself for having such a thought. Alice teased him mercilessly when she caught him looking at the other man lustfully when they were leaving and he settled for shoving her roughly as they walked arm in arm around town, killing time before grabbing coffee. With Alice finally on the train he set back for the apartment in a good mood, spending time with his best friend always had that effect on him. Although spending time with a certain someone was potentially a factor, albeit one he would never admit to. His mood dropped drastically when he walked in the front door to see Isaac staring at him with a very unimpressed look written across his face.

“Where were you? I told you we were going out for dinner tonight with my brothers” he asked with a scowl on his face.

Ian tried to hide the look of surprise on his face as he shrugged his coat off and hung it on the hook by the door. “Your brothers? I totally forgot, I was with Alice today. We went and got tattoos.”

He could Isaac’s face wrinkle at his words and he quickly stood and walked towards the red head. “Yeah, Mickey and Iggy? Ringing any bells?”

Before Ian could respond Isaac was motioning towards his body with a strange look on his face. “You got a tattoo?”

“Yeah… Look” Ian replied with a grin while lifting his t-shirt quickly and making sure to lay his other arm across his waist to hide the bruises.

Isaac pulled a face and raised his eyebrow in a way that had Ian’s enthusiasm quickly wilting. “What?”

“It’s nothing; I just think tattoos are kind of… trashy? They make people look, y’know… cheap?” the blonde answered with a dismissive shrug that had Ian’s walls shooting up and his self-esteem shooting down.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, you know how to make a guy feel good about himself” Ian replied testily while fixing his t-shirt back into place and pushing past the other man.

“Don’t be a drama queen Ian, your obviously just feeling emotional” Isaac replied in a tone that had Ian’s temper building as he swung around to face his boyfriend.

“Really? You think so? What reason would I have to be emotional Isaac?”

“I don’t know, do you ever need one?” the blonde replied while determinately looking anywhere but the red heads face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ian hissed back through clenched teeth.

“Well, you’re just very sensitive sometimes but that’s okay. I just figured it must be a bipolar thing” he replied while shuffling his feet and casting a quick look at his boyfriends face.

Ian flinched like he had been punched in the gut and he took a step back as his lungs deflated and all the fight drained out of him. He opened his mouth once or twice but ultimately had nothing to say.

Mainly because talking about his mental illness made him feel like he was drowning and there was no lifeboat nearby to save him.

Neither of the two of them said a word for the next hour, Isaac stubbornly ignoring the fact that Ian might be hurt, and Ian pondering if his mental illness was to blame for the fact that he sometimes got upset at things. The silence on the walk to the diner was stifling and Ian was glad of the fact that he wouldn’t be stuck talking to Isaac all night as he really wasn’t in the mood. When they arrived Ian waited till Isaac had sat down on one side of the booth before slipping in on the opposite side and starting a staring match with the wall beside him. The look on the blonde’s face said he wasn’t pleased and he had a feeling he was about to cause a scene before the timely arrival of his brothers barely a minute later.

Ian didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse when Mickey decided to sit down beside him but the way his stomach flipped informed him that his body had definitely decided already. The brunette’s scent immediately invaded his senses and he found himself subconsciously scooting an imperceptible amount closer to the other man.

“Hey guys” Iggy greeted with a grin while punching Isaac none too gently on the arm. The way he flinched had Ian hiding his grin behind his menu but he knew that Mickey had seen it if his own smirk was any indication. “How’s the new ink, it hurting bad?”

Ian shrugged and offered the smiling man a return grin. “It hurts but not as bad as getting it”

His answer caused the other man to laugh while Isaac’s face got suspicious. “Iggy tattooed you?”

“No, I did” Mickey answered, giving Isaac a sharp look that had the other man recoiling slightly into his chair. Ian didn’t blame him; it was the look of a predator. “You like my work?”

“It’s good but… I don’t really like tattoos” he replied with an awkward shrug, eyes suddenly getting slightly nervous when he realised his reply might be offensive. “Not that there’s anything wrong with them, they’re just not my thing”

Ian’s smile slightly dropped when he remembered his boyfriend’s earlier words but he was quickly distracted by Mickey’s hand suddenly appearing on his knee under the table.

“Really? I think they’re pretty fucking hot” Mickey replied with a smirk while tightening his grip on the red head’s knee. Ian felt his skin start to heat up and he shifted slightly in his seat in an attempt to hide his jumpiness.

“Just not my thing” Isaac added feebly while casting his eyes at the menu in front of him.

“I guess you just have no appreciation for beauty” the brunette stated, hand slowly inching up Ian’s leg in a way that set his blood boiling.

He gripped the menu tightly between his trembling hands, tried his best to focus on the words on the plastic in front of him, but the teasing whisper of fingertips on his upper thigh was driving him insane. The waitress arriving to take their orders created a brief reprieve but it was even worse after she left as he then had nothing to distract him. He tried his best to listen to the conversation flowing at the table, but he found that it was pretty impossible to concentrate when there were warm fingers idly drawing patterns on his inner thigh about an inch from his dick. His skin was completely overheated and he was having trouble keeping his breathing steady, the brunette’s fingertips leaving blazing trails on his skin even through the fabric. He was completely hard in his jeans and his desire to be touched was making him feel slightly light headed. Mickey had somehow managed to slip closer over the course of the conversation without anyone noticing and his body heat was soaking through his clothes into Ian’s side in the most distracting way. When the food arrived and the brunette finally moved his hand Ian was torn between sighing with relief and screaming in the other man’s face for torturing him.

He had barely finished his dinner when Mickey’s hand made a sudden reappearance about an inch from his erection causing him to nearly jump about of his seat. This time when the hand started to move it brushed off him and he had to bite his lip to stifle the moan. He caught Isaac shooting him a funny look and he coughed awkwardly to cover up his mistake. Before he could say anything Iggy’s phone started to vibrate loudly on the table. He cast a quick glance at the caller ID before standing up and swiping it off the table.

He shot Mickey a significant look. “Business awaits, its important.”

The brunette gave him a brief nod and the blonde turned on his heel and walked towards the door. This left Ian stuck in an awkward position.

“You okay?” Isaac asked suddenly, eyes narrowed as he took in Ian’s flushed face. The grip on his thigh grew firmer and he found himself nodding dumbly.

“M’fine, just hot” he replied with the fakest smile he had ever used outside the club.

“If you say so, I’m going to the bathroom, then I’m going to ring Colin, tell him I’m not coming in later” Isaac announced while sliding out of the booth.

Ian felt a moment of near hysteria when he realised he was about to be left alone with his boyfriends sexual deviant of a brother. He quickly forgot what he was worried about when he finally made eye contact with the blue eyed menace for the first time since the inappropriate touching had begun. The minute their eyes met the background noise grew quieter and everything outside the space between their bodies started to fade away. He licked his lips while scanning the other man’s face and working up the effort to break their self-imposed hypnosis.

“I’m guessing you’re not familiar with boundaries” Ian said in a joking manner to diffuse some of the sexual tension.

“I am, but I’m more familiar with arousal” he replied with a shrug before suddenly palming the redhead’s crotch directly.

Ian couldn’t help the gasp that slipped out as he involuntarily bucked up in his seat to chase the friction the other man’s hand created, grateful that their table was hidden away from the view of the other diners.

“If I thought you were uncomfortable I’d stop, but you seem pretty satisfied with what’s happening” Mickey added while rubbing the other man’s erection more firmly causing him to moan and grind up into his palm.

The brunette continued to rub him through his jeans and he was fighting to hold back the choked gasps and punched out breathes that were escaping his mouth. When the other man leaned in slightly Ian could feel his breath tickling the side of his neck and he found his hands flying out to pull the other man closer by his shoulders. Their faces were inches apart by that point and Ian’s senses were completely overwhelmed by Mickey’s proximity, could feel their breaths mingling in the brief space between their mouths. The brunette was relentlessly stroking him at that point, his body turned to shield Ian from view almost completely, and the red head couldn’t help but uncontrollably lift his hips to meet the other man’s motion every time. Mickey’s pupils were completely blown and Ian was having trouble tearing his eyes away from the brunette’s lips when they were so close to his face. His hands were gripping Mickey’s shoulders when he realised, with _great_ satisfaction, that the bruises on the other man’s shoulders matched his fingers perfectly and were a product of their previous encounter, not another man.

He knew it was embarrassing to be so turned on by being touched like a teenager, but his libido was just so high at that particular time that he could actually feel the heat forming in the base of his spine signalling he was close to coming. He started to whimper audibly when the brunette pulled the collar of his shirt aside to expose his bite mark, the hot breath on it causing him to nearly jump out of his skin as fingers threaded through his hair and gripped it roughly. At that moment he wasn’t even considering the fact that Isaac might come back and catch them, he was too heady with desire to give a shit. When Mickey started to increase the pressure significantly Ian felt the tight coil start to unravel in the pit of his stomach and he knew he was seconds away from coming. He realised he must have announced this fact when the other man leaned forward and placed his mouth over the bite on his shoulder. It was over just like that.

His body _jerked_ and he let out a high keening sound as he tipped over the edge. He came hard, whining low in his throat with his face in Mickey’s neck, arching into his touch as sensations flooded his body. He just kept canting his hips into the brunettes hand as it continued to stroke him through his orgasm, pleasure flowing through his body as the other man milked his orgasm for all it was worth. He continued to gasp and whine against Mickey’s neck, moaning his name like a hymn against the warm skin. Ian’s body felt spent and heavy as he slowly inhaled the other man’s scent, so much more intoxicating from the source. The brunette held on to him as he came down from his high, his face burning with embarrassment at his reaction.

He was happy attempting to smother himself when he felt the other man’s thumb rubbing his hip soothingly underneath his shirt, his other hand firm on the red head’s lower back. The action caused him to slowly relax and he felt himself trying to hold back a small smile at the feeling. His heart rate started to even out and he became uncomfortably aware of the sticky feeling in his underwear now that the moment was over. He eventually pulled back after an indiscernible amount of time to see the amused expression on Mickey’s face as he took in the red head’s flushed cheeks and heavy breaths. His gaze was once again drawn to the brunettes lips and he found himself wondering if he should break that barrier when the other man‘s eyes dropped to mirror his action. Before he could pursue his idea further he was distracted by his boyfriend’s timely return.

He jumped slightly causing his back to hit the wall and he let out a pained yelp that had Mickey stifling a grin behind his hand.

“You okay?” Isaac asked with a raised eyebrow as he slid back into the booth.

“I’m good” he said quickly while shuffling awkwardly in his seat.

“Oh, I was just wondering because you look sweaty. I asked the waitress to bring over the bill, I’m so tired” the blonde added with a yawn.

Ian nodded dumbly and tried his best not to punch his seating companion when he proceeded to knock knees with him playfully under the table with a shit eating grin on his face. Ian noticed the brunette looking at his phone and when it beeped he stood up and stretched leisurely.

“Iggy’s not coming back in so I’m heading out to meet him” he said while pulling his wallet out and flicking a few bills in Isaac’s direction. “That should cover our food”

“Alright, thanks for coming out. See you soon?” Isaac asked with a polite smile.

“Oh you definitely will. See you around Gallagher” Mickey added while throwing Ian a wicked smirk.

With that, he turned on his heel and headed for the exit, leaving Ian to regret his decision to once again, think with his dick.

 

**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually kind of hate this chapter but fuck it, it was hard work so I'm going to post it anyway. For anyone who was hoping for sex, sorry not for another few chapters. Have patience little ones! Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter and I hope you all enjoy it. <3


	6. Mercy

The garden surrounding the house was unkempt, the foliage so wild that it had started to grow out of control and curl around the chain fence like an animal digging its claws in. The pavement in front of it was cracked and littered with empty cans and if Mickey wasn’t mistaken, a used condom. When he reached the door he could hear the unmistakeable sound of a baby wailing and immediately contemplating turning around and walking away before steeling himself for the task at hand. He got no answer when he knocked on the door so he just gave it an experimental push and it swung open with a noisy creak. He found himself grimacing immediately upon inhaling the stale air that reeked of whiskey as he stepped over a broken plate and turned the corner to the sitting room. He immediately took notice of the baby lying in its basket, pink in the face from crying so hard, little fists held tightly near its face. He felt something painful tug in his chest and wondered how many times he and his siblings were left to cry like that when Terry was watching them. He glanced over towards the couch to find Jamie draped across it, half empty bottle of vodka perched between his fingertips and a joint in the other hand.

He tried hard to control the anger that was slowly blossoming in his chest before he spoke but his voice still came across much more tightly than he had planned.

“I may not be fucking Mary Poppins but I don’t think you should be lying around getting high while your babies fucking screaming its head off.”

Jamie turned his head to look at him with disinterest before shrugging and turning his head back towards the TV. “Not my problem, Rachel’s the one watching him.”

“Oh yeah, is that so? Well maybe you could fucking help out if you weren’t coked out of your head half the time huh, ever think of that asshole?” he shot back through gritted teeth.

“Fuck off man, I don’t need you on my case as well” Jamie replied with a look of annoyance.

“Don’t you tell me fuck off, you definitely need someone on your case before you do any fucking damage.”

“It’s none of your fucking business.”

Before Mickey could respond he heard the bedroom door creak open and he swung around to see Rachel standing there apprehensively. She tentatively approached the basket like she was expecting to get shouted at and he noticed the black eye that was half hidden by her bangs. She scooped the baby up quickly before giving him a stiff nod and power walking back towards the bedroom. The door had barely clicked shut before he was across the room and grabbing Jamie by the collar of his shirt. The resounding smack of his fist hitting his brother’s face quelled a dark urge in within in him that only sex or violence seemed to satisfy.

“You get off on hitting girls huh?” he growled while watching his brother push himself up off the ground where he’d fallen.

“Fuck you” Jamie wheezed which shooting him a dirty look. His comment earned him a kick in the ribs that had him gasping for breath and returning to his position on the dirty floor.

“If I ever see another bruise on her ever again I’ll break every single one of your fat fucking fingers, you understand Jamie?” he said almost calmly while crouching down to make eye contact with the wheezing man who was sucking in sharp breaths and clutching his side. He waited until his brother had given him a jerky nod before continuing, rage sated for the moment.

“You need to sort your fucking life out man. If you ever show up to a job tweaked out of your fucking skull ever again you’re out of the business. You understand that Jamie? You’re a fucking liability and we’re not all going down with you.”

His brother averted his eyes and proceeded to stare at the floorboards until Mickey got the hint to give up. He pushed himself into a standing position with a sigh and cast his brother one last pitying glance before turning and heading for the entrance. When he reached the doorway he paused to give the pathetic body on the ground one last glance.

“You might want to have a long hard think about your fucking situation man, you fuck shit up with me and you’re not going to be able to afford your precious coke for much longer.”

 

**

Ever since the last time they had dinner with his brothers, things had been awkward between Ian and Isaac. The blonde had made no effort to apologise for dissing the redhead’s mental health; if anything he had just found new things to comment on in an effort to drive Ian’s self-esteem further into the ground. First there was his little comment about Ian being unaffectionate and closed off the next night, largely due to the fact that Ian was still annoyed from the previous evening. Then there was a comment about how he hadn’t been that amazing in bed lately that Ian found particularly insulting because it was the one aspect of relationships he had never struggled with. But the final straw came when Ian was getting changed 4 nights after the incident and Isaac gave him a critical look. When Ian asked what he was looking at the blonde had asked if he had changed his medication because he looked like he had gotten heavier looking.

Ian had felt something buckle within him at that comment and he had proceeded to excuse himself to the bathroom as he rather embarrassingly tried to ward off the sting of tears in his eyes. He had always been used to men wanting him for his body and the thought of losing his looks scared him because they were basically all he had. His brain was already fucked, who would want him if was unattractive and bipolar? He’d be nothing, have _nothing._ He ended up sitting in the bathroom for a ridiculously long period of time, palms pressed into his eye sockets to hold back the dam threatening to burst within him.

When he emerged he was intent on redoubling his efforts to ignore his boyfriend but Isaac somehow managed to coax him to sit on the couch beside him and before he knew what was happened the blonde was hugging him and whispering into his ear. Telling him how he still wanted him even if he wasn’t perfect. They weren’t the most romantic words in the world but by Ian’s standard it was practically a marriage proposal. No one had ever wanted him for anything other than sex; at least Isaac liked him and wanted him around. It was the best he could ever hope for.

**

The next night they decided to head out to meet up with Isaac’s brothers and Ian tried to force down any feelings of excitement that he might have felt at potentially seeing a certain someone. They were able to skip the queue into the nightclub, the bouncer letting them past without any fuss. The room was a heaving mass of people, crowded full of faceless bodies swaying in time to the pulsing music. The noise reverberated through his chest like a second heartbeat. _Rhythmic. Pounding._   It had been a long time since he had been in a nightclub other than the White Swallow and he felt weird being in such an environment and socialising rather than working. He took note of the carefree expressions on the people’s faces as they waded in a sea of hedonism and sex.

Isaac motioned towards the bar and Ian trailed behind him as they pushed through the crowd. By the time they reached the bar he was covered mostly in other peoples sweat but he found it oddly comforting. It reminded him of being young and carefree, before his diagnosis caused everything to come crashing down. He continued to survey the room while Isaac ordered their drinks and noticed the dancers on the podiums clad in tight outfits as they gyrated around the poles. There was one blonde girl in particular that caught his eye because she was able to contort her body into positions that bordered on painful looking. A nudge on his shoulder had him turning to take his drink off Isaac who pointed towards a large balcony area above the dance floor with a nod of his head.

Ian followed him through the writhing masses of people and up a staircase to the left of the bar. When they got to the top there was another bouncer standing beside a curtain but he nodded them through without so much as a second look. He quickly realised they must be heading into the VIP area and noted that it was dark and lit only by the strobe lights flashing above them. The area itself was quite spacious and was occupied by a large black leather couch that ran along the wall, round silver tables placed in front of it for people to sit their drinks on.

Mickey was sat on said couch, and Ian was having a hard time pulling his eyes away. The other man had a dark dress shirt on with the sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms and they really were a sight to behold. He was laughing with an attractive dark haired woman with a nose ring and thick bangs who was in one of the tightest dresses he’d ever seen. When the brunette spotted them standing there his eyes flicked immediately over Isaac and focused on the red head instead. The gesture made Ian’s chest feel warm and he couldn’t contain the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. When he realised it was the first time he had smiled in 4 days he quickly tried to school his features into something more sombre before Isaac noticed and got suspicious. His happiness didn’t go unnoticed however, the other man smirking at him quickly before reluctantly looking away to greet Isaac.

He couldn’t hear what they were saying over the thump of the music but before he could make a move to sit beside his boyfriend he felt a hand clamp around his wrist and he was dragged down onto the couch with a graceless thump. He quickly realised that his assailant was the pretty brunette Mickey had been talking to and he noted her eyes were just as blue as the other mans. He didn’t even have time to process that he was now wedged between her and Mickey before she gave him a thorough once over and grinned.

“Well fuck aren’t you gorgeous, where did Isaac find you?” she teased while glancing at him over the rim of her glass.

“Uh the White Swallow actually, I’m a dancer” he replied, slightly taken aback at her forwardness and aggressive confidence.

“A dancer huh? Lucky man, didn’t know he had it him” she mused while leaning back to survey his face. Before he could attempt to respond she looked at him in realisation and gave him a wide smile before sticking her hand out for him to shake.

“I’m Mandy by the way, shithead’s sister” she said with a nod towards Isaac who was deep in conversation with Iggy and Colin.

“Ian, Ian Gallagher” he responded with a grin that she instantly returned as they shook hands.

“So Ian Gallagher, my family not scare you off yet?”

“Not yet but there’s still time” he replied jokily while sipping his drink.

“Ugh Isaac’s lucky, every single boyfriend I’ve ever had has been afraid of my brothers, especially Prince Charming” she said while nodded her head in Mickey’s direction. Ian was sitting beside the other man with his back to him and he didn’t turn around to see what the brunette was doing in the fear he might end up staring and giving away his massive crush.

“Must not have been man enough” he replied with a shrug that made her smirk in return.

“Nah, pretty much every guy I’ve ever dated was a grade A asshole, they were always cocaine slingers and petty thugs. That why I’ve decided to hold out for a man that will buy me Vivienne Westwood and treat me like a fucking queen” she replied with a wink that had Ian laughing, black mood slightly lessening with every passing second.

The laughter died in his throat when he felt Mickey leaning over his shoulder, his scent and body weight already familiar and weirdly comforting.

“Well you’ve already found one idiot to buy you ridiculously overpriced fucking clothes so maybe you shouldn’t get greedy.”

Ian could feel the vibrations of the brunette’s words reverberating in his chest from where it was half pressed against his back.

“Yes Mickey, and while I do appreciate you buying me Louboutins for Christmas, I can’t fuck you so you don’t count.” Mandy replied while sticking her legs out in front of her to display the shiny black high heels on her feet. The brunette scoffed and Ian could feel his breath ghost over his collarbone as he momentarily lowered his head. The sensation caused a chill to shoot up his spine and he could feel Mickey’s knuckles run along his lower back soothingly.

“I’ll remember that when it comes to your birthday then bitch.”

“Awh don’t get salty sweetie, you know you’re my favourite” she cooed while reaching across Ian to pat her brother on the leg.

“The feeling isn’t mutual” Mickey muttered while ghosting his thumb over the strip of bare skin that Ian’s t-shirt had ridden up to expose. The action made him feel pleasantly warm inside and he unconsciously leaned into the touch.

“Oh yeah I forgot, anyone who can’t suck your dick is irrelevant” Mandy said with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Pretty much”

“Slut”

“Hypocrite”

“Hey, I’m not the one who fucked a waiter at his sister’s 15th birthday party dinner” Mandy shot back.

“He did ask if I wanted dessert” Mickey replied with a shrug that Ian felt rather than witnessed.

“There’s a special place in hell reserved for you” she said with a grimace.

“I know, it’s called the throne”

Mandy let out a huff of admonishment and Mickey leaned back, Ian already acutely missing the comforting warmth his body had provided. His hand remained nearby and every now and then he felt fingers glide across his lower back as he chatted to Mandy about everything and anything. Ian found her to be very easy to talk to and he felt extremely at ease with her almost instantly. About an hour into the night, Mandy paused mid-story to shoot a grin over his shoulder. He glanced behind him to notice three women had just walked in, one brunette, two blonde, all beautiful. The brunette was the most striking, she was wearing a short red dress that left very little to the imagination and lipstick in a matching shade that made her look quite fierce. She walked with absolute confidence and oozed a sensuality that even he could admire.

Her eyes quickly glanced in his direction before landing on Mickey, a smirk forming on her lips as she made a beeline for him. He watched with morbid curiosity as she proceeded to straddle him and whisper something in his ear that definitely wasn’t in English. He grinned easily at whatever she had said and placed his hands on her hips like it was something they did all the time. When their lips connected he forced himself to drag his eyes away, a bitter taste forming in his mouth that matched the ice forming in his veins. The two blondes dropped down on the other side of Mandy and the shorter one greeted her with a bright smile before eyeing Ian with interest. He quickly noted from their tight outfits that they must be the dancers. Mandy and the girl put their heads together and laughed before the brunette turned to face him with a grin.

“Ian, this is Karen, Karen this is Ian” she said while gesturing between the two of them.

“Hey” Karen replied with a grin while waving which he returned.

“And this exotic beauty is Nika, she’s more of a strong silent type” Mandy added while the woman in question gave a brief nod. “As you may have guessed, they work here.”

“Ugh don’t remind me I have to get back to work” Karen sighed while nudging Mandy in the side.

“Yes, if only we had kinder bosses we could go home and sleep” Nika added, Ian momentarily shocked by her thick accent.

“Well sorry but your bosses need money so you have to get out there and shake what your momma gave you so we can pay the bills” Mandy responded with a smirk.

“Mickey’s so much nicer than you sometimes” Karen muttered while lighting a cigarette and sagging back into the couch.

“A sentence I never thought I would ever hear” Mandy replied while pulling out her own packet and offering one to Ian which he graciously accepted because he was out. It took Ian a good second to twig what they were talking about but he quickly realised once he was done lighting his cigarette.

“You work here?”

“I’m the manager, this is Mickey’s club” Mandy replied while gracefully exhaling her smoke like a 50’s movie star.

“I thought Mickey’s club was a strip club?”

“The strip club portion is in another area, it closes at 11 and the dancers move in here and dance in the nightclub instead, it was my idea to convert this room” Mandy added proudly which had Karen snickering at her smug tone.

“Yeah she’s a total hard ass, it’s so easy to get around Mick, he can’t handle being yelled at by women” Karen added which caused Mandy to pinch her none too gently.

The mention of the other man made his stomach roil and he remembered what had made him feel so queasy when he heard laughter from behind him and caught a whiff of expensive musky perfume. Karen and Nika began to chat aimlessly and Mandy and Ian sat smoking in amicable silence until Mickey’s ‘ _friend_ ’ muttered something in another language that had the other man spluttering and Mandy laughing.

“She’s got a point Mick, you really are such a grumpy bastard sometimes” Mandy said which had the brunette woman grinning wickedly.

“The two of you can go fuck yourselves” he muttered hotly while shoved her away slightly.

“Do not worry, my rainbow boy has other good quality’s besides personality” she drawled, accent just as thick as Nika’s.

“Well I can’t be that fucking grumpy otherwise you two would leave me the fuck alone” he shot back.

“Not possible, we know you would miss us too much, we bring light to life” the brunette replied dryly while surveying him with a sharp look in her eye.

With that she climbed out of his lap and strolled over to sit beside the girls on the opposite end of the couch, leaving Mickey with a scowl of his face that was more petulant than truly annoyed. When she proceeded to lean in and place a hand on Nika’s upper thigh Ian felt his eyebrows shoot up which didn’t go unnoticed by Mandy.

“You’ll get used to them, they never take their hands off each other once there’s a drop of alcohol in them” she shrugged while glancing at the two women out of the corner of her eye.

“Oh, I just thought she was..” he trailed off, not knowing what to say without sounding too interested in Mickey’s love life. Luckily for him she seemed to be able to read between the lines and let out a sharp burst of laughter that startled him slightly.

“Svetlana and Mickey? I can’t imagine a worse couple, wow that would be like mixing famine and war. No they’re best friends, they just sometimes play up the touchy feely shit in public to keep up appearances and ward off gossip. Svetlana prefers the company of women anyway” Mandy said with an amused smile.

“Oh” he replied dumbly.

He tried his best to keep the relief out of his voice but he thought that he might have saw something akin to curiosity flicker in Mandy’s eyes, although thankfully she didn’t say anything. When he felt Mickey’s thumb graze his back again he whipped his head around to look at him on instinct and couldn’t keep the smile off his face when their eyes met. He could see the beginnings of a smile forming on the other man’s face but it quickly warped into a scowl when a man in a trench coat strolled through the entrance flanked by several police officers.

“Mikhailo Milkovich?”

“Jesus if it isn’t my favourite farm animals” he muttered under his breath before pushing off the couch and smirking at the other man. “Don’t get cute with me Laurence, you know well it's Mickey”

“I know your name all too well at this stage Milkovich” he said pulling out his cuffs and sighing wearily with a look of displeasure on his face.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this, people might talk” Mickey said while holding out his wrists for the other man to secure as the other officers proceeded to cuff Iggy and Colin. The detective just ignored him and fixed Mandy with a sharp look.

“Bring the girl in too” he said while nodding towards Mandy who look disgusted.

“Oh fucking hell” she hissed while standing up and adjusting her dress angrily. Once Mandy was secured they proceeded to herd the siblings towards the entrance as they all proceeded to grumble.

Ian was momentarily shocked and just sat there with his mouth slightly open until the sound of Svetlana sighing heavily snapped him out of his stupor.

“I call Helene” she announced in a clipped voice before stalking off with Nika and Karen in tow, leaving Ian and Isaac behind on their own.

“A typical night out with my family” Isaac said with a shrug. Ian was still mildly pissed off with the other man but his curiosity won over his annoyance.

“That happen often?”

“Every week or two sometimes” he replied casually while draining the rest of his drink. “The problem with being involved with organised crime is that whenever anything gang related goes down they know what people to arrest and question. Obviously they’re not always involved in every gangland crime but when they are, the boys are smart and never leave behind evidence so the most they can hold them for is a few hours and then they have to let them go. They’ll be out by tomorrow morning.”

Ian knew realistically that they ( _Mickey_ ) would be fine but it wasn’t until the next day when he got a text from Mandy that said “Got your number off Isaac, we should meet up sometime” that he was finally able to breathe easier.

 

**

When Ian finally finished his shift at the club the following night he was feeling tired and irritable. He had been harassed by some creep all night and had resorted to getting the bouncer to remove him because he was making him uncomfortable. He was irritated and sore and all he wanted was to go home and sleep. This is why it was just his luck that he accidently bumped into three assholes while crossing the street.

“Watch where you’re going faggot” one said while leering at him nastily.

“Fuck off” he snapped as he pushed past the group in an attempt to storm off, too angry to care about being even remotely calm. The larger man was having none of this and shoved him roughly causing him to momentarily stumble on the spot. Ian could feel anger building within him causing his blood to simmer and his fists to clench. He whipped around and pierced the guy who pushed him with a withering stare but he didn’t react other than to smirk wider. The ringleader was a tall man with a nasty face and wide set shoulders, the other two were shorter and heavier.

“What’s wrong? Is the fairy gonna cry?”

Ian knew realistically he should just walk away and leave it, chances are the other men would get bored and walk off but he was feeling worked up and angry, emotions swirling around his head like a hurricane and he knew his temper was one step away from landing him in a situation.

“You got something to say to me fag?” the ringleader prompted when he continued to just mindlessly stare at him while weighing his options.

“You fucking mute or are you –“

The sickening sound of fist meeting flesh permeated the half-empty street and the adrenaline rushing through Ian’s veins caused his blood to pump until the sound of it muffled his hearing like he was underwater. He might have been skipping the gym a bit over the previous months but he still knew how to throw a punch, he doubted there was anyone in the South Side who didn’t. The tall man stumbled back and landed on the pavement with a comically loud thump that echoed due to the silence and Ian couldn’t help but smirk when he saw the shock on the faces of mans companions.

He didn’t have much time to gloat before he was reeling back himself due to the force of the punch he had received from the guys friend. The bitter taste of copper flooded his mouth and his face stung sharply in the cold. The man had then landed a kick on him before he could even attempt to defend himself while the third one cheered him on with a sharp laugh. He hit the ground hard, barely managing to catch himself with his hands before his head collided with the pavement. He braced himself on the cold cement and had just managed to push up off the ground when he heard a sharp whistle cut through the night’s air. He stumbled to his feet in time to see two people he hadn’t expected to. Iggy and Mickey. He didn’t miss the way the two men stiffened when they also realised who was standing there.

“Well well, look at what we have here Ig” Mickey said with a smirk in his brothers direction as they stepped closer from their position across the street.

“It sort of looks like a couple of idiots trying to beat on our new brother-in-law Mick” Iggy relied almost casually while grinning. Ian could see the exact moment the look of horrified realisation appeared in his attackers eyes.

“Hey, we didn’t know he was with you guys Mickey, we never would have touched him otherwise” the man stammered weakly while holding his hands as out as the brothers stopped about a foot away from him.

“That may be but, the point is, you did touch him didn’t you? And in doing so, you disrespected me and my family” Mickey replied with a shrug. Ian’s attacker visibly paled and opened his mouth once or twice dumbly.

“This means you got to pay the price. That sound fair to you Ig?” the brunette added, effectively cutting off the other man he began to try and argue.

“Sounds almost diplomatic Mick” Iggy replied while shooting Ian a wink.

“Don’t use words you don’t understand dipshit. That sound okay to you Gallagher?” Mickey asked, finally glancing over at the redhead and letting his eyes scan his face critically while cataloguing the damage. Their eyes met and Ian felt oddly pleased when he noticed the anger in the other man’s gaze, stomach feeling oddly warm when he thought about the reason for his annoyance. He nodded slowly without breaking eye contact, his skin tightening with every passing second as they continued their stare off.

“Alright, which one of you hit him?” Mickey questioned in a deceptively calm voice as he finally turned his attention back to the nervous man in front of him.

“It was me but –“

Ian hadn’t noticed Mickey pulling out the gun so it gave him a mild heart attack when he heard the bang of it go off barely 3 feet away from him. The other man let out a pained scream and clutched at his knee pathetically from where he had fallen to the ground. Iggy proceeded to knock his companion to the ground and kick him in the ribs vigorously while shouting expletives at him. The guy who Ian had originally hit had finally gotten off the ground and attempted to run but Iggy was too fast and he was soon re-joining the other two on the concrete.

Ian was so busy staring at what was happening in front of him that he hadn’t noticed Mickey approaching him until he was less than a foot away. The intensity in the other man’s eyes made Ian’s breath get shallower and he went ramrod stiff when the brunette lifted his hand towards him. When his thumb gently grazed Ian’s bottom lip he was convinced that there was absolutely no way that Mickey couldn't see his chest rattling, heart hammering like a drum against his ribcage. His breathing halted as he tried to process what was happening, mind slightly hazy due to their proximity. He held himself completely still the whole time the brunette examined his lip, their faces too close for him to focus on any particular rational thought.It would have been much too easy at that point for Ian to finally lean in and close the almost non-existent gap between them. To finally feel Mickeys lips against his. When the other man dragged his thumb slowly over the cut he was torn between pain and pleasure, the fire from the brunette’s touch almost completely covering the sting. Before he could do anything he might regret the other man dropped his hand and took a step back.

“You okay Gallagher?” Mickey asked while pinning him with a gaze that dared the red head to lie to him.

“M’fine, where I’m from that would be considered a friendly greeting” he replied with a half shrug and a faint smile. He vaguely registered Iggy threatening the men in the background to ‘ _keep quiet if they knew what was good for them_ ’ but he was too busy locking eyes with the brunette to focus on something so insignificant. They continued to remain in their own bubble until Iggy finally staggered over to them with bruised knuckles and a pleased grin.

“I needed that, still mad after talking to that bitch from the cable company who put me on hold for half an hour” he said while stretching his arms above his head and sighing in pleasure.

“It’s not her fault you shot the satellite dish off the roof because you were angry” Mickey replied dryly.

“Fuck off, should have sturdier dishes”

“I’m sure they’re very fucking sturdy, they’re just not bulletproof” Mickey shot back.

“Well if they had-“

“Shut the fuck up. I’m not arguing about this with you again” Mickey replied while pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes in frustration. Iggy mumbled something under his breath that didn’t sound too friendly before walking away and eying the prone forms of guys still lying on the ground wheezing.

“The joys of having brothers” Mickey muttered while shaking his head in Iggy’s direction. “C’mon, I’ll drop you home”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it. I doubt I’ll get attacked again” Ian said jokingly, although he lacked any real sincerity. He was used to people babying him, being diagnosed bipolar really tended to warp people’s perceptions of one’s ability to take care of themselves.

“Don’t worry Gallagher, I ain’t insulting your honour or any shit like that, I’m driving that way anyway so you might as well take the free lift” Mickey replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Ian hesitated for a minute but in Mickey’s estimation it was a clearly a minute too long because before he could respond the brunette shrugged and turned on the spot to walk off.

“Follow or not Gallagher, I ain’t your keeper” he called over his shoulder, cuffing Iggy none too gently over the back of the head as he passed him causing the other man to yell an impressive variety of expletives at him.

Barely 15 seconds had passed before Ian was following them. Mickey never stopped to see if he was behind but he had a feeling the other man knew he was there because he didn’t look surprised to see him when they reached the car. Colin was lounging in the front seat staring at his phone when they got there and whistled when he saw Ian’s swollen lip. Ian ended up in the backseat with Iggy and remained mostly quiet during the first portion of the ride, content to listen to the brothers bickering. The noise reminded him of home.

When they reached the outside of a swanky nightclub on a busy street, Colin and Iggy jumped out of the car, leaving Mickey to hop into the driver’s seat. There was a moment of silence while Mickey proceeded to light a cigarette. He turned to give Ian a strange look, raising his eyebrow as he snapped the lid back on his Zippo and pocketed it.

“You uh, gonna sit back there like a 4 year old in a booster seat or are you old enough to sit upfront with the adults” he asked while smirking around the filter of the cigarette.

“Fuck you” Ian replied smoothly while opening the door and getting out to walk around to the front.

His confidence dropped quite a bit once he was actually seated up front with the other man but he didn’t let him know that, doing his best to look casual and nonchalant. He was good at pretending, was good at faking things. Being bipolar involved a lot of faking. _Yes I’m fine. Yes I’m happy. Nope I feel so much better today._

Without realising he slipped into a pensive mood, mind clouded with thoughts that dragged him down into despair. _Isaac. His own mental health_. Thoughts running through his head over and over again until he felt like a boat whose anchor hadn’t been cast to secure it from floating away. He doesn’t know how long he sat there but he suddenly became aware that the car was slowing down so it could pull upin front of his apartment block. Well, _Isaac’s_ apartment block. Ian wasn’t sure if it had ever really felt like home to him. He realised with a feeling of despair that he had spent the whole drive staring at his lap in a trance and immediately felt awkward and embarrassed for being so weird. He risked a glance up at Mickey and caught the brunette looking at him with a contemplative expression on his face, searching the red head’s eyes for some clue that Ian had yet to divulge.

“You okay man?” he asked after a minute of silence.

“I’m fine” he replied, lie slipping off his tongue as easily as it had every time he had used those words. “I’m just really tired, work was pretty stressful.”

He could see that Mickey didn’t believe a word of what he was saying but he was grateful when he didn’t pry or try to force him to talk like his family often would. He was suddenly overwhelmed by how bone weary he was and felt exhaustion slowly sinking into his muscles, body starting to feel like dead weight.

“Give me your phone Gallagher” Mickey asked while nudging him in the side with his elbow.

Ian stared at him blearily for a second before reaching into his hoodie, pulling out the item in question and unlocking it. He was so tired that the action of passing it over might have killed him so he was oddly appreciative when the brunette reached over and grabbed it out of his hand before he could attempt to move. He watched the other man’s tattooed fingers fly over the touch screen and next minute the car was filled with the tinny sound of Mickey’s phone ringing, the tone one of the annoying shrill ones that came with the phone. It stopped almost instantly and Mickey was tossing Ian’s phone back into his lap without much grace.

“You got my number there Gallagher, if you ever need anything you let me know. I told you, I owe you. So you need anything at all, no matter the time you call me okay?” Mickey said while pinning Ian with an intense look. Ian found the brunette’s blue eyes oddly captivating at that moment in time and was having a hard time forcing himself to look away.

“Yeah, okay” he muttered, voice so thick with exhaustion that it was closer to a whisper. The pitch of his voice made the atmosphere inside the car feel intimate and soft and for a minute Ian found himself almost wishing that he didn’t have to leave. He felt content, safe, relaxed, things he didn’t feel all that often around other people since his diagnosis. He reluctantly pulled himself up straighter in his seat and reached for the handle.

“I guess I’ll see you around” he said with a small smile as he clambered out the door and turned to look at the brunette sitting in the car.

“Yeah, see you around Gallagher” Mickey replied almost gently, as if he could sense Ian was feeling fragile. He was just about to slam the door and walk off when he managed to work up the courage to say what he wanted.

“Thanks Mickey, y’know, for caring” he said while shuffling his feet and tightening his grip on the strap of his bag.

He almost swore he saw the other man’s eyes soften slightly as he surveyed him but his voice was almost sharp when he finally spoke. “Remember what I said.”

He nodded one last time before slamming the door and lightly jogging towards the entrance. He kept his eyes straight ahead because he was afraid if he looked back he might not be able to look away. On the elevator ride up he was having a hard time getting the brunette out of his thoughts and was trying hard to convince his traitorous mind to give up on the idea that he would be happier if could have stayed with Mickey.

He instantly regretted coming home before the front door of the apartment had even shut behind him. Isaac had a look on his face that suggested he was in a less than pleasant mood and Ian realised this meant he was in for an earful.

“You're home quicker than usual” he remarked from where he was perched on a stool by the island.

“Ran into your brother as I left the club, he brought me home” Ian replied while stretching and dropping his bag by the door.

“Which one?”

“Mickey” Ian replied in what he hoped was a casual voice.

“What are you doing hanging around with him?” Isaac asked cautiously, eyes a dead giveaway that he was more interested in the answer than he was letting on.

“I find him interesting” Ian answered with a shrug, trying to sound as flippant as possible in an attempt to annoy the other man, Isaac’s attitude causing his defences to raise.

His words caused the blondes eyes to narrow into slits that made him look much more intimidating than his usual relaxed demeanour suggested. His voice was soft and measured when he finally spoke.

“Listen, I get that your fascinated by my brother and you think he’s fun and exciting and all that other bullshit that attracts people to him but let me give you a word of warning. He is not a safe person to be around Ian, and if you continue to associate with Mickey there’s only one of two ways it’s going to end. One involves you ending up in prison; the other involves you ending up in a body bag.”

Ian felt a cold fury building in the pit of his stomach as he listened to the subtext in his boyfriend’s message. Yet another person trying to baby him.

“That’s nice but I think I can decide who I want to hang around with by myself” he replied in a tight voice.

“I’m only trying to keep you safe”

“No, you’re trying to tell me what to do, there’s a big fucking difference” Ian half hissed as he turned to glare at the blonde.

“Maybe I don’t want you hanging around with hardened criminals” he fired back as he stood up from the stool.

“Oh so they’re good enough for you to hang out with but not me? That’s fucking rich.” Ian scoffed while throwing his arms in the air. “Y’know, if you were actually around more maybe I wouldn’t have to rely on other people for company all the time.”

“Oh I’m sorry that I have a job Ian. I’m sorry that I have to work to earn money” Isaac shouted angrily while taking a step closer to the angry red head.

“I have a job too, I have to work too! I’m just not a fucking workaholic like you.” Ian replied while clenching his fists.

“Except there’s no comparison because I have a real fucking job, one that involves actual work rather than rubbing my dick all over lonely old men” Isaac hissed.

Ian jerked back like he’d been slapped, all responses temporarily lost as he took in his boyfriend’s words. His silence afforded his angry partner with the perfect chance to continue his rant which he did without missing a beat.

“I mean its fucking disgraceful, who would want to hire you if they found out you worked in that seedy shithole huh? What half decent place would want to hire a retired lap dancer? It’s fucking degrading. Not to mention embarrassing for me when I have to tell people where you work” he said with a scowl as he wrinkled his face in distaste.

Ian stood there numbly and let the blonde’s word’s wash over him. He was vaguely aware that Isaac was still talking but the ringing in his ears was blocking the noise out. He doesn’t know if it was a conscious decision or just his preservation instinct but before he realised what he was doing his legs were moving and he was grabbing his bag off the ground. He noted that Isaac was calling his name as he slammed the door but he was in too much of a daze to care.

It wasn’t until he was sat outside on the pavement that he realised what had happened. The cold from the concrete soaked through his clothes and into his bones, his hands shaking as he attempted to light his cigarette. He knew he couldn’t face going back inside, but he didn’t think he could face walking anywhere either. It wasn’t until he was flicking his burnt out filter away that he got an idea. A _bad_ idea, but an idea nonetheless. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, fingers dancing nervously over the screen when he reached the number he was looking for. He took a deep breath to steel himself and pressed call before he could talk himself out of it. The person on the other end picked up after a few seconds.

“Mickey?” he asked in a weak voice.

“Yeah? What the fuck’s up with you Gallagher?” he asked, voice laced with the faintest traces of concern.

“I kind of had a fight with Isaac and I just… never mind. Sorry I rang” Ian said with a sigh, all effort just suddenly leaving him as he held his face in his free hand.

“Don’t bullshit me, no one rings someone at 3 am just to chat” Mickey replied sharply.

“I just, I can’t stay there tonight. I was going to go stay at my friend’s apartment but it’s really late and I’m just so fucking tired. I don’t think I can face getting the train” Ian replied while shaking his head, mostly for his own benefit seeing as the other man couldn’t see him.

“It’s fine I’ll take you” Mickey said in a matter of fact voice. Ian couldn’t ignore the tiny little flutter in his stomach at those words; no matter how hard he tried to push the feeling down.

“Are you sure, I don’t want to bother you, you’re probably already home by now” Ian muttered, embarrassment creeping like an unwelcome guest.

“I am but I only live like 10 minutes away so it’s fine. Don’t worry about it, I told you I owed you, I meant it” the brunette replied, the sound of a door closing alerting Ian to the fact that he had already left.

“Thank you” he said, weight slipping off his chest as he heaved a massive sigh of relief.

“Don’t worry about it; see you in a few Gallagher.”

Ian’s hand basically slid back into his lap once the phone call was over, exhaustion becoming more obvious once again now that the immediate crisis had been solved. He fired off a quick text to Alice asking her if it would be okay if he stayed, fingers crossed that she would still be awake as she tended to be a bit of a night owl. As the minutes passed he started to get nervous but just as the car appeared in the distance, his phone beeped and he had a text from Alice saying it was fine and asking him if he was okay. He shot back a quick reply saying he’d explain everything when he got there just as the car pulled up.

Ian pulled open the door lethargically and practically dropped into the seat without a hint of grace.

“Before you ask I’m okay, I just really need to sleep” Ian muttered, eyes already half closed as he leaned back against the headrest.

Mickey said something back but all he could do was grunt in agreement. He was asleep barely 2 minutes later. He slept the whole way to Alice’s apartment and was extremely groggy when Mickey finally woke him up. He didn’t remember anything of their parting conversation other than the fact that he said thanks about 6 times but he knows he must have said embarrassing things if he was remembering the poorly hidden grin on the other man’s face correctly. Alice didn’t even bother trying to talk to him when he came in. She just deposited him on the couch and threw a blanket over him.

When he fell asleep that night he wasn’t thinking about Isaac or their fight, or anything negative at all. That night Ian fell asleep thinking about blue eyes and dark hair. He fell asleep thinking about **Mickey.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry that this chapter took so long to write but it is nearly 8000 words long so I hope that makes it up for it. This chapter has much less sexual overtones to it because I decided to focus more on the boys bonding in a non-sexual way instead. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and I'll try to get the next one up much faster.
> 
> Follow me at: glassheartxo.tumblr.com if you'd like to :)


	7. Covet

The bitter smell of coffee permeating his nostrils was what finally caused Ian to climb out from the fabric tomb he had erected using his blanket and the couch cushions. He stumbled into the kitchen while blearily rubbing his eyes only to be faced with Alice and Patrick performing a loud duet from Beyoncé’s greatest hits while dancing around in their pyjamas.

“Just like Christ, he has finally risen” Patrick called out in faux shock while swivelling his hips obscenely.

“Finally being the optimal word, I was about to get the hose on you” Alice added shaking her finger an inch from his face and turning the radio down till it became background noise.

“It’s only 11.30” Ian replied dryly, eyeing the clock on the wall while pushing past to grab the coffee pot.

“That might as well be 6pm by Ian Gallagher standards, you were always a freakishly early riser” Patrick responded while finally seating himself on a nearby stool, slightly out of breath from his impromptu dance party.

“I used to wonder how much it would take to wear him out” Alice added while nodding in the redhead’s direction.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” Ian responded with a hint of a smile on his face as he settled down at the table with his cup in hand.

Patrick responded by wiggling his eyebrows and reaching up to play with his nipples, Alice snorting and cuffing him over the back of his head.

“Well I take it that whatever caused you to retreat back to headquarters wasn’t that serious if your dick is still controlling a good portion of your brain” Alice said while fixing him with a curious look.

Ian knew that look all too well, it was a look that said ‘ _don’t even try to change the subject._ ’

“It was nothing, we just had a stupid fight is all” Ian shrugged while staring resolutely into his cup.

“Well I presume in 5 months you’ve had a lot of fights, because I spend half my waking life trying not to bludgeon Trick to death and we’re not even a couple, but you’ve never come here before” she noted with a raised eyebrow.

“Beauty and personality, what a winning combo” Patrick added under his breath causing Ian to momentarily smile before composing his face.

“We’ve been fighting a lot lately, mainly just stupid stuff though. Our fights usually resolve themselves pretty easily”

“What kind of stupid stuff?” Alice prompted, leaning forward slightly from where she was sat across from him.

“Oh y’know, I think he works too much, he thinks my job is irrelevant, I think his friends are snobby pricks, he doesn’t like anyone I hang out with, especially Trick. I want to do this; he wants to do that-

“Wait! Whaddya mean he doesn’t like me?” Patrick interrupted with a scandalised shout.

“Well he never said it in those _exact_ words; it’s just more…whenever we hang out he asks me like a million questions about what we were up to. Apparently two gay men can’t be friends without wanting to bang each other”

“You mean you don’t want to bang me? Why have I wasted all these years being nice to you then?” Patrick asked with a look of shock on his face that made Ian snort into his cup.

“Behave” Alice chided fondly while kicking him under the table. “Wow, I’m surprised I haven’t made his shit list. Guess he isn’t threatened by pansexuals”

“Well, I think it’s more to do with the fact your lacking the main component I look for in a partner”

“A small IQ?”

When Ian proceeded to shoot her a dirty look she shrugged innocently and took a sip of her coffee with big doe eyes firmly in place.

“What? You did date a lot of idiots in college.”

“I believe you mean I _fucked_ a lot of idiots in college, the ones I dated were just plain assholes.”

“That would such a great name for a porno, Just Plain Assholes: Volume 5” Patrick mused with a lewd grin. When Alice went to hit him again he raised his hands in defeat. “Alright alright, in all seriousness then, what was your fight about last night?”

“Oh nothing important, we were both just in a bad mood and he made a comment about my job being embarrassing and I freaked out” Ian replied with a shrug.

“I don’t blame you, if someone made a comment about my job I’d knock him the fuck out. Besides he knew what he was getting in to when he met you, y’know… seeing as he met you at your _place of work_. Obviously didn’t bother him that much at the time” Alice said with a derisive snort.

“Besides, you look very cute in your child sized shorts” Patrick teased, nudging Ian playfully as he stood up to walk past him.

“You should come out tonight, have some fun. You haven’t been yourself lately” Alice said while reaching across the table to take his hand.

“I know” he replied wistfully, squeezing the fingers that were entangled with his own.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Alice prompted, concern written all over her face.

He opened his mouth and was taken aback by the tidal wave of thoughts that threatened to spill out from between his lips. _No. Yes. I’m happy with Isaac. I’m unhappy with Isaac. Sometimes he makes me feel like shit. Sometimes he makes me feel happy. Sometimes I want to leave but I’m afraid I’ll never find anyone else. I’m worried I’m settling. I worry that if I leave I’ll end up alone._

“I’m sure” he said finally with a half-smile.

He could see that she wasn’t fully convinced but was grateful when she dropped the subject.

“Did you walk all the way here last night? No wonder you were wrecked” Alice commented, grabbing his cup as well as hers and bringing them over to the sink.

“Uhm, no. I got a lift”

“From who?”

When he didn’t immediately respond she flew around and looked at him in realisation, his awkward head scratching a dead giveaway.

“Traditionally when you argue with a partner you’re meant to have post-fight sex with them, not their brother”

“We didn’t have sex, he was just helping me out” Ian replied hotly while leaning against the counter.

“I know what kind of _help_ you’d like from him.” She answered while wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Before Ian could respond his phone vibrated loudly on the table providing him with a good excuse to back out of the conversation. When he unlocked the screen he saw he had a text from Isaac and hesitated briefly before opening it.

 **[11.37] Isaac:** _hey, can we talk?_

Ian was tempted to ignore it but he knew it was better to get the conversation over with, the longer he ignored him the more awkward things would be.

 **[11.38] Ian** : _Sure_

In his distraction Alice had slipped out of the room and he was left standing in the silence, listening to the murmurs of his friends talking in another room. He had been stood there for barely 30 seconds when his phone started to vibrate in his hands, shocking him out of his stupor. He took a calming breath to steady himself and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Hi” Isaac said quietly.

“Hey”

“How are you?”

“M’fine”

There was a moment of painful drawn out silence where the only sound Ian could hear was Isaac breathing and it set his nerves on edge. He was tempted to hang up and pretend his signal had dropped when the other man spoke again.

“I’m really sorry, about what I said. I was just really tired and I took it out on you.”

“It’s okay” Ian said with a half-hearted smile on his face that he was glad the blonde couldn’t see. “I’m sorry too.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you. I’m sure you were just tired after working all night too. Plus I know you sometimes can get a bit upset because of… y’know”

 _‘Because I’m mentally ill?’_ Ian’s mind supplied bitterly.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry I can be so difficult” Ian replied in a lacklustre tone.

“It’s fine, I knew what to expect when I got involved with you” Isaac said in such a casual tone that he might as well have been discussing the weather.

His words stung but not as much as the thought that he might be right. Maybe being bipolar did make him hard to date. Maybe he was just _difficult_. He should be lucky to date someone as understanding as Isaac.

“Anyway, when are you coming home?” Isaac added when Ian continued to stare at the wall in silent contemplation.

Ian was about to say soon, was about to tell him he would be back for lunch, but then he remembered Alice saying something about going out and he leaped at an excuse to spend a bit more time with his friends.

“Actually, I won’t be home till later tonight. I’m going out with Alice and Patrick.”

“Oh, I see” Ian could immediately hear a trace of annoyance lying beneath the surface of his words. “Is that where you stayed last night?”

Ian knew what he was asking, he was wondering if he had gone off with someone else.

“Yeah I stayed there last night.”

“Good, so... I guess I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yep tonight, see you then” Ian said, injected a false cheeriness to his voice.

“Bye”

He felt oddly drained once he heard the beep that signalled the call had ended, like he had run a marathon rather than had a conversation. His mind started to wonder and like usual, it ended up being focused on a particular area of interest.

Ian was really grateful to him for everything he had done and was itching to say something to him, to thank him properly considering the fact he had been half asleep during their last conversation. He searched up his name in his contact list and ended up staring at the screen for a good 5 minutes while contemplating what to do.

Surely he couldn’t just text him out of the blue? _But_ then again, he was _only_ texting him to say thank you. Where was the harm in that?

At least that was the logic that fuelled his decision to finally open his messages and start to compose a new one.

*

Mickey really _really_ hated Nigel.

He hated his voice, his face, his job. You name it, he probably hated it. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was a half useful distributor he would probably just knock his teeth down his throat and be done with it. However, life being the shit show it was, he was forced to play nicey nice with him. Well, at least _relatively_ nice in his case.

As the car finally pulled over in front of the warehouse he couldn’t control the sigh that escaped from his lips at the sight of it, despair starting to creep in. Kenyatta shot him a wry smile from the backseat when he saw his disgust causing him to glare at him in return. When he made no attempt to get out of the car Jimmy finally turned in his seat to survey him, fingers tapping mindlessly on the steering wheel in a way that made Mickey’s blood boil.

“So, you gonna go in there or?” he questioned mildly.

“No I just asked you to drive me the fuck out here so we could spend time together – of course I’m going fucking in there. Also, you tap that steering wheel one more time and I will put you through that window. Holy _fuck_ ” Mickey replied, blood pressure rocketing through the ceiling.

_Fucking Jimmy._

He noticed Kenyatta’s shoulders shaking in the rear view mirror and shook his head in annoyance.

“And you, you're fucking coming with me” he demanded while half kicking the door open and climbing out.

He was nearly at the entrance by the time the lumbering man caught up, long legs completely useless due to the fact he weighed about 18 stone. He could see the smirk still painted across his face when he glanced over at him and couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Something funny shithead?” he asked dryly, the sound of dogs barking growing louder as they approached.

“Nah boss, just think it’s funny watching you tear into Lishman every time he attempts to speak to you.”

“I can’t help it, he’s just fucking _annoying._ Every time he opens his mouth I just start fantasizing about throwing him off a high rise building” Mickey replied hotly while shaking his head.

He was distracted from his tirade by the activity occurring within the warehouse. When he wasn’t busy storing and distributing drugs for Mickey, Nigel ran a dog fighting ring. Much to Mickey’s eternal dismay.

There was a small crowd gathered around the ring when he entered, all clutching cash between their outstretched hands as they jeered and shouted at the two animals that were savaging each other for sport. Mickey felt his nose wrinkling in disgust as he laid eyes on Nigel who was laughing and cheering at the events carrying out in front of him. When he locked eyes with Mickey he gave him a gap toothed grin and nodded at him before turning to say something to one of his associates. Nigel was a short heavy man with a ruddy face that was always bright red, an unkempt beard and lank greasy hair that made Mickey shudder every time he saw it.

“He is literally a beard with an idiot hanging off it” Mickey said bitterly as the man in question started to walk towards them, Kenyatta chuckling deeply from behind him.

 “Is there anyone you don’t have a problem with?” he asked, voice tinged with mirth.

Mickey’s phone vibrating momentarily distracting him from answering but he quickly scoffed and cast his companion a quick glance.

“I _didn’t_ mind you until 5 seconds ago” he retorted, patting his coat down angrily in an attempt to find which pocket he had stored his phone in.

“Calm down, just saying boss.”

“I can’t help but insult idiots, like look at this guy. He is literally the human equivalent of internet explorer” Mickey muttered, gesturing towards the approaching man with his free hand as he finally freed his phone from his jacket and unlocked it.

He was aware that Kenyatta had said something in reply but he didn’t hear him properly, he was too busy staring at his phone screen.

 **[11.50] Gallagher:** _Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for last night. I really appreciated you helping me out. I hope it wasn’t an inconvenience._

To say Mickey was surprised to receive a text from him was really an understatement. When he had given Gallagher his number he thought that the other man would never have any reason to call or text him. Now he had broken both barriers in less than 24 hours. Not that Mickey was complaining in the slightest.

 **[11.52] Mickey:** _Don’t worry about it, you already said thank you about 9 times last night, you were totally out of it Gallagher. It wasn’t a big deal, I live nearby._

Mickey was literally about to place his phone back in his pocket when it buzzed barely a few seconds later.

 **[11.53] Gallagher:** _In my defence I was really fucking tired so I take no responsibility for my actions. I’m trying to be nice, don’t make fun of me :(_

Mickey’s mouth actually quirked up into a smile at the message but it was quickly shattered by outside circumstances.

“Mickey!”

He couldn’t control the way his foot started to tap in irritation as Nigel drew to a stop in front of him, his _(five)_ stained teeth stretched into a shit eating grin.

“Hey, you got the money for me?” he asked dismissively, trying to cut the conversation down to its bare bones so he could get away from the living hell he was currently standing in.

“Sure thing man, just let me grab it for ya and I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t hurry back” he muttered under his breath before unlocking his phone to respond.

 **[11:55] Mickey:** _Calm down Gallagher I wasn’t making fun of you, just stating a fact. I’m always nice to you, you should consider yourself lucky._

 **[11:56] Gallagher:** _Yeah, you do seem to be less of a grumpy shit to me. Does that make me special? :)_

Mickey was surprised by the almost flirty tone to the redhead’s texts and was left wondering how he should respond to that. In the end he decided to say fuck it and just say whatever the fuck he felt like saying.

 **[11.59] Mickey** : _I can’t confirm or deny that_

 **[11.59] Gallagher:** _Why not?_

 **[12:00] Mickey:** _I need to keep the mystery alive_

 **[12:01] Gallagher** : _You don’t seem that mysterious to me_

 **[12:02] Mickey** : _you’d be surprised Gallagher_

 “Here you go man, it’s all accounted for, minus my cut of course” Nigel drawled out of nowhere causing Mickey to twitch in irritation.

“Thanks” he replied with the most deadpan expression he could muster as he gingerly took the envelope off him, quickly flinging it at Kenyatta so he wouldn’t have to touch it for a moment longer.

“You wanna bet on the next fight?” Nigel asked with a smirk.

Mickey lifted his eyebrow at him in utter disgust, half spluttering out his reply.

“Do I wanna bet - No I don’t fucking want to bet on a fucking fight you piece of shit. What do I look like, street trash?”

He turned on the spot and proceeded to shake his head and mutter hotly under his breath all the way back to the car. It wasn’t until he was finally sat down with a lit cigarette perched between his lips that he finally felt calm again.

Kenyatta climbed in the back a minute later laughing loudly.

“Awh boss you should have stuck around to see his face, he looked so shocked.”

“Good for him, fucking animal” Mickey mumbled under his breath as Jimmy started the car up and slowly pulled away from the warehouse.

He was just finished his cigarette when he remembered he hadn’t replied to his text yet. He flicked the burnt out filter out the open window and slid the phone out of his jacket pocket, unlocking it and smirking at the last message.

 **[12:02] Gallagher** : _Surprise me then_

He was pretty sure the redhead was definitely flirting with him at that point whether it was a conscious decision or not.

 **[12:11] Mickey:** _Be careful what you wish for, you might regret saying that_

 **[12:12] Gallagher:** _I don’t think I will_

“What are you smirking at?” Jimmy said suddenly, causing whatever joy had appeared on his face to instantly evaporate.

“I’m trying to decide what witty line we can put on your tombstone once I’m done bashing in your skull in with a baseball bat”

Jimmy muttered something under his breath while looking straight ahead, Kenyatta snickering in the background almost a good enough reason to explain why Mickey suddenly felt so weirdly content.

*

Ian had bypassed tipsy and was headed firmly towards drunk by the time 10 o’clock rolled around, the music vibrating through him pleasantly, the lights blurring slightly as he squinted at Alice from the across the room. She was draped across the bar flirting shamelessly with the attractive blonde female bartender behind it.

Ian smiled when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but made no move to pull it out it straight away; he was trying to play it vaguely cool. Also he had seen Alice and Patrick sharing significant looks all night every time they saw him stare at his phone. They were in some trendy dive bar they chosen purely based on the fact that it was named ‘ _Daddys_ ’ and Patrick had said it sounded like his dream destination. He was fighting the urge to read his new text when he felt his phone buzz again, a teasing reminder of what he was trying to ignore. His hand had just started to creep towards his jean pocket when he felt slightly damp fingers curl around his wrist causing him to jump in shock. He relaxed his breathing when he realised it was just Alice after returning with their drinks

“That bartender was hotter than the surface of the sun” she half-moaned around the straw that was sticking out of her bright pink cocktail.

“Why didn’t you get her number?” he asked while pulling a cigarette out of his packet and lighting it with a smirk in his friend’s direction.

“She was about as interesting as that guy I once went on a date with who kept showing me pictures of his stamp collection” Alice replied with a look of disdain.

“What do you think of him?” Patrick asked while elbowing Ian in the side and gesturing towards a tall man standing to the right of the bar.

“Him? He’s okay, I’ve seen better” he said with a shrug. He had already laid eyes on the guy he deemed to be the best looking person in the _world_ and he was much shorter and paler than the man in question.

“Oh wait, _wait,_ oh never mind he looks like the sloth from Ice Age up close” Patrick said, shuddering as the man walked past their table, the look on his face causing Ian to burst into laughter.

“You’ll find true love one day Trick, how can you not with such a sensitive heart beating in your chest” Alice said while shooting Ian a bright grin that he returned easily.

“I can never find anyone remotely hot to fuck, I’ve never scored higher than a 7” Patrick sighed dramatically while slumping back into his seat.

“What about that hot stoner guy you met at that frat party you crashed?” Ian asked while wondering if he could sneak a peak at his phone without getting caught.

“Who, Jake?”

“Yeah what was wrong with him? He was pretty good-looking.”

“He lived with his mother”

“That’s not so bad -”

“In a _car_ ”

“Yeah I can see why that might be a deal breaker. You have the worst taste in men” Ian mused with a badly concealed grin.

“Yeah do you remember that Axel chap he was obsessed with in college and they ended up fucking a few times? I remember he was really into poetry. You were all about him sophomore year, then he got fat and you lost interest until he came back after summer break and he looked a Greek god. Why did you cut him loose again?” Alice asked a smirk.

“He didn’t get _fat_ ; he just cultivated a lot of mass… and that’s not why I lost interest! Patrick replied, mumbling something about extenuating factors before continuing his rant.

“He was just a bit… weird; he used to write me poetry and tell me I was his muse. Did I ever tell you he had a bleached asshole?”

“Is that something men look for in a partner?” Alice said looking between them with a mixture of disgust and intrigue.

“That’s pretty much the only thing I look for” Ian said, trying to keep his face as casual as possible while fighting the urge to laugh, the alcohol making his head feel pleasantly light and carefree.

The obvious amusement on his face must have shown because after a minute of staring at his face intensely Alice burst into laughter, clutching at Patrick's arm and choking slightly which led to them all laughing and holding onto their sides, the drink making everything seem much funnier than it should be.

When Ian finally caught his breath he stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray with a smile, glancing up to see Alice looking at him fondly and he couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion he could see in her eyes.

“What?

“It’s just… you seem like _yourself_ tonight, you haven’t in so long” she said almost sadly.

“What do you mean like myself, I’m always like myself” he replied with an easy smile.

“Nah she’s right man you haven’t been at all. You’re normally the smiliest most positive bastard I’ve ever met, we used to slag you for never shutting up for one second. Now you're just so much _quieter_ and like... less animated or some shit, I can’t think of a good word cause I’m wasted” Patrick replied while shaking his hand feebly in the air to demonstrate his point.

Ian knew deep down they were one hundred per cent right. He hadn’t been himself in a while, the last month or two he had just felt very subdued and down. At first he thought it had just been his meds but he was starting to think it might be due to a certain blonde who was sitting at home waiting for him. But it’s not like he could totally blame Isaac, he knew he was probably _very_ difficult to date. After all, it must be hard to have a bipolar boyfriend.

“We’re just saying, it’s so nice to have you here laughing and smiling with us” Alice added while nudging him and offering him a grin.

“Speaking of laughing and smiling, I haven’t seen you check your phone in a while, trying to play it cool or are you just afraid we’ll slag you?” Patrick asked with a smirk that made Ian’s face feel warm and not from the drink.

“Shut up” he replied maturely while pointedly avoiding his friends faces.

“Don’t try to play it cool with us Carrot Top, you’ve been texting a certain someone on and off for the last 9 hours, we’re not that dumb that we can’t put two and two together” Alice said while shooting Patrick a knowing look.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he replied while pulling his phone out his pocket, realising there was no point in avoiding it any longer. He was surprised to see he had two texts, one that was sent only a few minutes beforehand.

 **[10.07] Mickey:** _Mandy’s about to text you, feel free to ignore her, I usually do._

 **[10.16] Mandy:** _Hey Ian :) I was wondering if you wanted to come grab a drink with me tonight? I’ve had a shit week and I need to get wasted._

Ian was actually quite happy to receive an invite from Mandy, despite what Mickey might have thought. Ever since the night they had met they had texted a few times and Ian was looking forward to potentially seeing her again.

 **[10:17] Ian:** _Hey Mandy, I’m actually already out with my friends, where are you?_

“Texting your walking wet dream?” Alice prompted with a nudge that broke him out of his daze.

“No, I’m texting his sister Mandy, she wanted to know if I wanted to grab a drink” Ian replied with a light blush at her _(accurate)_ choice of her words.

 **[10:18] Mandy:** _I’m at Nova with the usual idiots; you should come and bring your friends. We can get them into the VIP lounge, it’s pretty fucking nice!_

“She wants to know if we want to meet her at some place called Nova?” he added, unsure as to where she was referring.

“Nova? It’s a club a few minutes away from here. It’s pretty exclusive, usually has a massive line outside it.” Alice said before draining the last of her drink.

Patrick proceeded to launch into a story about one of his friends who had been there and Ian took the opportunity to type up another text.

 **[10:19] Ian:** _Your sister wants me to come help her drink her sorrows away_

“Earth to Ian” Patrick said kicking him under the table. “You think they’d let us in?”

“Yeah sure if Mandy says it’s okay then I don’t see why not” he replied with a shrug, eyes darting down the minute he heard his phone buzz.

 **[10:20] Mickey** : _I’m sitting right beside her, trust me when I say her sorrows have well and truly already been washed away by the 5 shots she just downed a minute ago._

Ian couldn’t help the warm feeling in his chest when he read the reply, he hadn’t been sure if the two of them were together but he had been hoping they were. Not that it had any influence on his desire to go, not in the _slightest._ He just really wanted to see Mandy.

And okay _maybe_ Mickey but so what?

“Let’s go then” Alice said with a shrug as Patrick began to pull on his jacket and stand up. Ian nodded at her with a smile while attempting to write his reply to Mandy.

 **[10.22] Ian:** _We’re on our way, see you soon :)_

 **[10:22] Mandy:** _Great, text me when your outside!_

Ian was tempted to text Mickey but fought the urge when he realised he was going to be seeing him in person soon enough. He couldn’t deny the thrill of excitement that sparked through his blood at the thought.

It was a bit of a chilly night when they exited onto the street and Ian found himself grateful for Alice’s body heat when she proceeded to link arms with him and Patrick. The city was absolutely thrumming with life as people slowly flooded the streets in search of excitement, the lights on the buildings twinkling brightly in the dark. They were about half way to their destination when Patrick slapped him hard on the ass and proceeded to run ahead laughing with Ian quickly giving chase, shoving him none too gently when he finally caught up to him.

Alice smiled at them fondly and made them stop to snap a picture with her on her phone, all of their faces bright and tinged pink from alcohol.

When they finally reached the club they were taken aback by the long queue outside of it, lines of underdressed girls making Ian shiver and wonder how they wore so little when it was cold outside. Clearly they were made of stronger stuff than he was.

“There is no way I’m standing here for a fucking hour” Patrick said bluntly, cocked eyebrow indicating he wasn’t in the mood to argue.

It was then Ian suddenly remembered that Mandy had said to text him when they were outside so he quickly slid his phone out of his jacket, fingers slightly fuzzy due to the alcohol flowing through his veins.

 **[10.44] Ian:** _We’re outside_

When he didn’t immediately get a reply he decided to wait it out, the three of them lighting up and having a smoke to kill the time in the hope Mandy had seen the text. There was still no answer by the time they were finished and he was just about to text again when he heard someone shouting behind him.

“Iaaan”

He turned to see Mandy strolling out the entrance wearing a tight sparkly black dress with only one strap and a ridiculously high pair of silver heels that she was looking a bit wobbly on.

“What a babe” Alice muttered as Mandy proceeded to wrap him up in a tight hug, the sweet scent of fruity alcohol and perfume invading his senses. Ian grinned into her shoulder at his friends remark and pulled back to introduce his friends.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Mandy. Isaac’s sister” she said with a grin and a nod at the two of them.

The two of them returned her greetings and they proceeded to chat away for a good minute or two while Ian watched on with a smile, smirking when he saw the appreciative looks Alice was giving Mandy.

“Anyway, you wanna go inside Ian?” she asked while nodding towards the entrance.

“Lead the way”

The three of them followed her as she completely bypassed the queue, the bouncer not even glancing her as they made their way into the building.

“You a regular?” Ian asked, leaning in close so only Mandy could hear.

“One of my dad’s men owns the place” she replied, leaning in so her breath tickled his ear, the music already loud and they were just outside the cloak room.

Once they had left their coats in with the steward they followed her down a dark corridor that was lit only by flashing neon lights running parallel on the wall before coming out into the main room.

The club was large and dark inside; the pulsing spotlights illuminated the room in flattering shades of blues and pinks. The pounding bass from the speakers made Ian’s skin vibrate pleasantly and he was enjoying the multi-sensory assault on his body. He felt the sweat already starting to form and couldn’t help but smile when he saw the similar looks of contentment on his friend’s faces. He had always enjoyed the slightly unfocused buzz in the back of his head when he was drunk, it made everything feel softer and more intense all at once.

He felt Mandy slip her hand into his and start to lead him towards the bar, her fingers warm and soft in between his own. They managed to wade through the masses of people, the sweltering air stealing their breath and leaving them flushed by the time they reach their destination. Once they had their drinks in hand Mandy lead them to a staircase behind the bar that lead up the VIP area, Ian’s eyes immediately seeking out the one person he wanted to see.

Mickey was stood in a half circle that consisted of Iggy, Colin, Svetlana and Nika, all of them laughing at something Svetlana had said, Mickey shaking his head in disgust. Ian quickly tore his eyes away before he could be caught staring, instead trying to focus on whatever Mandy, Alice and Patrick were talking about while ignoring his urge to stare.

“He is pretty hot” Patrick muttered suddenly, leaning in so his voice was ghosting over Ian’s collarbone.

“Fuck off” Ian grumbled with a slightly red face.

“Well seeing as you can’t have him; does that mean I can have a go?” Patrick teased while poking him in the side.

Ian whipped his head around quite suddenly; unable to hold back the surge of _panic_ that shot through him when he heard his friend’s words. His shock must have been written all over his face because he saw a curious look appear in Patrick’s eyes but it was quickly gone, replaced by amusement.

“I’m only messing, he seems more interested in you anyway” Patrick said, nodding towards Mickey once before turning back to join in with Alice and Mandy’s conversation once more.

Patrick’s words had Ian burning with curiosity and he was unable to control his impulse to look over and nearly let out a gasp when he immediately locked eyes with Mickey who was standing looking straight at him. Ian couldn’t help but wonder how long he’d been staring, stomach fluttering childishly when he thought about it. He felt a shiver run through him at the intensity of the other man’s gaze, his eyes so hot it felt like they were burning through him. The brunette smirked at him cockily and raised an eyebrow, the look on his face visible even in the dim lighting. Ian felt like he was trying to capture him, and he was most _definitely_ caught.

When Mickey finally pulled his eyes away Ian was left feeling strangely dizzy and he decided to combat the feeling by downing half of his drink, the burning liquid providing a welcome distraction as it slid down his throat, warming him from the inside out. He felt like his skin was starting to _itch_ the longer he stood there and found himself making an excuse to slip back downstairs so he could use the outdoor smoking area, desperate to clear his head of sinful thoughts.

He took a deep drag off his cigarette, the nicotine in his blood causing him to relax as the fresh air lifted some of the foggy feeling from his head. There was a couple practically dry humping by the door and a small group of people near the back but otherwise it was pretty empty and Ian was grateful for the relative peace.

That was _until_ Iggy and Mickey strolled out wearing identical grins and laughing at something.

“Yo Gallagher, why you being so anti-social?” Iggy asked, while sticking a cigarette between his lips.

“Must be the terrible company” Mickey replied while mirroring the action and reaching into his jean pocket for a lighter.

“Nah the company’s pretty good” he said, locking eyes with Mickey momentarily in a way that made the other man smirk around the filter in his mouth. “I just needed the air; I may have had a bit too much to drink.”

“I know the feeling man, it’s Nika’s birthday and she made us play this fucking ridiculous drinking game. If your hair wasn’t so red I wouldn’t have had a clue it was you because I can barely fucking see” Iggy half-moaned while swaying on the spot and rubbing his eyes.

“It’s true, you’re looking pretty blurry” Mickey added while grinning at Iggy who nearly managed to fall flat on his ass. Ian noticed that Mickey’s eyes were slightly unfocused and his voice had that ‘ _I may have drank too much’_ quality to it but he wasn’t quite as bad as his brother.

Ian took the last drag off his cigarette and tossed it, downing the rest of his drink and leaving the empty glass on a nearby table, the alcohol slowly spreading through his body and making his toes feel warm. He had only had a few drinks but thanks to his meds that was pretty much all it took for him to get wasted.

“I need to get laid man, come look with me?” Iggy said, shooting Mickey a look while crushing his own cigarette underfoot.

“Sure man, you really do need it” Mickey replied with a smirk before shooting Ian a look over his shoulder as he followed Iggy from the smoking area. “You coming Gallagher?”

Ian hesitated for a minute, knew that it probably wasn’t the best idea but the alcohol convinced him to follow after a second.

The dance floor was completely stuffy, the air was heady with the scent of sweat and sex as the fog machines produced smoke that curled its way into every corner of the room creating a thick blanket of heavy air. There were people gyrating and undulated along to the music that was blasting out of the speakers and making the room shake. Ian surveyed the room with interest as he enjoyed the warmth of the alcohol in his veins, focusing on the heavy bass that was making his chest vibrate with each beat. The noise was making his head feel pleasantly empty, he couldn’t hear his thoughts and that was just fine with him. Mickey and Iggy were standing at the edge of the dance floor, heads pushed together in conversation as they looked around the room. Ian found himself getting _lost_ in the beat from his position in the corner, happy to close his eyes and get swept away in sensation. He wasn’t sure how long he was stood there, swaying slightly with the music, but when he opened his eyes and saw Mickey studying him with curiosity he felt weirdly powerful for once.

“Where’s Iggy?” he asked, leaning in till he was close enough to smell the brunette’s neck, his scent making Ian want to trace his mouth all over the pale skin in front of him.

Mickey didn’t bother to move back; instead he just nodded to the side, Ian following the movement to see Iggy making out with some girl on the dance floor before dragging his eyes back to the man standing barely an inch or two away from him. He couldn’t pull his eyes away from Mickey even he had wanted to. His body was too hot, making him feel completely dizzy. He was unable to take a step back, found that he was absolutely paralysed to the spot as the other man’s hand crept around to rest just over his ass. His head was spinning from the dual sensations of alcohol and the brunette’s proximity and he’s was having a hard time forming a coherent sentence.

When he felt Mickey’s fingers dig into him with purpose, the hand on his lower back pulling them closer together than before, his heart started to accelerate wildly. Ian forgot how to breathe as Mickey started to lean in, face getting dangerously close to his, before he changed direction, lips instead hovering beside his ear. Mickey’s breath was warm against his cheek and Ian felt his mouth go dry as the other man’s lips ghosted over his ear.

“I think you should probably back off Gallagher” he said, voice low and full of warning, “or I might end up doing something I regret.”

Ian’s heart started to batter against his ribcage violently at the implication of Mickey’s words, he was surprised that at that point the brunette couldn’t hear his heart thundering wildly in his chest. The warmth rolling off Mickey was almost suffocating and Ian couldn't tear his eyes away from a bead of sweat that was rolling teasingly down the column of his throat. It took everything in his willpower not to lean over and chase its path with his tongue, to taste the skin. He glanced up to see that Mickey’s eyes were completely dilated, pupils so big that his eyes were basically black. Ian’s eyes dropped down to look at his lips, drawn to them like a parched man to water.

He let out a slight gasp when Mickey suddenly leaned in, placing one hand on either side of his head, effectively bracketing him against the wall. Ian felt like his tongue was being weighed down by an anchor as he took in Mickey's expression. Their faces were barely an inch or two apart and their chests brushed as they breath in and out in a sickening mockery of intimacy. When Ian inhaled all he could smell was Mickey; that curious combination of whiskey, cologne, smoke.

“I mean it, you should probably walk away” he murmured, whiskey drenched words ghosting over Ian’s mouth, the redhead _transfixed_ by the flash of pink as Mickey’s tongue flicked out to wet his lips.

Ian’s hands desperately reached out, fingers _twisting_ into the other man’s shirt in an attempt to anchor himself. The warmth of his skin was starting to bleed into Ian’s and he could feel his body rapidly heating up. He was drawn from his thoughts by Mickey suddenly reaching up to grab a handful of his hair, a whimper escaping him as fingers tugged his head back and he was forced to make eye contact with him. He realised that Mickey was waiting for his reply, eyes searching his face intensely as if he could pry Ian’s answer straight out of his head.

Mickey started to lean in -- titled his head slowly, parted his lips in effort to make his intentions crystal clear to Ian who seemed to have stopped breathing. The air in his lungs was burning him from the inside out, the flames licking up and down his limbs from the tip of his toes to his ears. His skin was tingling, sparks of excitement running up and down his spine like a live current. Knowing he was so close to kissing Mickey had his heart aching with want and he nearly screamed in disappointment when he stopped about an inch away to search Ian’s face. He took a deep breath to steady his thumping heart and decided to follow his instincts.

 “I don’t want to walk away” he half whispered as his breath shuddered, tightening his grip and locking eyes with Mickey.

Ian didn’t even get a second to process his bold words before Mickey was surging forward and kissing him, _wet_ and _hungry_. He felt his knees get weak and he couldn't control the moan that escaped him as he grabbed at Mickey' shirt, fisting the material so hard that his knuckles started to go white.

Ian moaned into his mouth, more vibration than sound due to their proximity, _digging_ his fingers into Mickey’s hips in an effort to fuse them together. He felt like he was fire, he must have been, that was the only explanation for why he felt he like he was about to turn to ash. He was melting, _burning,_ every touch making him like he was about to combust. Mickey’s hands were roaming desperately around his body, fingers skimming over his neck, his back, making Ian’s skin feel like it was being scorched and branded. His hands slipped down to rest on the underside on Ian’s thighs and when their hips finally aligned Ian felt like he was going to lose his mind from the sensation. His legs were _shaking_ and his chest felt fit to burst but he didn't care. _He was kissing Mickey._

Ian slipped his thigh in between the brunettes in an effort to alleviate the heat building in his lower body, pressing closer when he felt a moan reverberate through Mickey's chest. His own hands _scrambled_ to get under Mickey’s t-shirt, fingers tracing the smooth pale flesh he found underneath the fabric almost desperately. Ian sucked his plump bottom lip between his teeth and bit it hard while reaching around to grab hold of Mickey’s ass and seal their bodies closer together. When he felt Mickey's hands slip under his t-shirt to touch his back and chest he let out a sound he would deny for a rest of his life, it sounded close to a whimper.  His motions took on a wild edge as he aligned their hips and thrust harshly against Mickey's erection, drawing little moans and gasps from him. Their kisses had started to turn rough and _biting,_ tongues tangling slickly, messily, in the space between them. He wound one of his hands in Mickey's hair and slipped his free hand down to dig his fingernails into his thigh, desperate to get closer to him.

When their cocks rubbed together at a particularly good angle Ian ended up crying out, muffling his pleasure into Mickey’s mouth as he desperately clutched at the other man’s ass in an effort to keep up the pressure. Their motions took on an edge that bordered on urgent, both clinging to one another like they would fall apart if they let go. Their kisses had become open mouthed and wet and Ian was pretty sure he had never experienced such an overload of sensation before in his life. All he could think about in that moment was how much he wanted Mickey. Wanted to be around him, to _kiss_ him, to _fuck_ him.

He continued to lick into the other man’s mouth as their hips continue to swirl against each other erratically, sounds being muffled by their mouths as they continued to roll their hips together. As they began to pick up the pace, Ian started to pant desperately into his mouth, fingers searching for purchase in an effort to ground him, his head starting to loll back against the wall from pleasure. He bit down on Mickey's lip hard because it felt too good, a mewl escaping through his lips at the sensation and being swallowed by Mickey's mouth. His cock was throbbing _painfully_ in his jeans and he couldn’t ever remember feeling so desperate for another person’s touch.

A particularly well placed thrust caused him to shudder and dig his nails in _hard_ and he couldn’t stop himself from moaning Mickey’s name hotly between breaths. This turned out to be a bad idea because before he could grasp what was happening Mickey’s lips and hands were gone and he was instead standing back and surveying Ian while trying to catch his breath. Mickey's face and neck was flushed an attractive shade of pink, his pupils were completely blown, lips completely red and swollen from their hungry kisses. It took everything in Ian’s willpower not to drag him back towards him, hands itching with the urge to reach out and touch him. Mickey reached up to run a hand through his hair which was already looking dishevelled thanks to Ian, chest heaving as he caught his breath.

“Yeah, we need to stop” he panted while holding his hands out in front of him

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know about you but I’m fucking wasted, and I’m pretty sure you are too” Mickey replied, voice sounding more even than before, eyes darting to the side in search of Iggy.

“So what? You’re not into drunken hook ups?” Ian questioned trying to sound like he wasn’t slightly bothered by the sudden turn of events.

“Oh, I’m pretty much exclusively into drunken hook-ups, but I know you’ll regret it tomorrow if we don’t stop” Mickey said with a matter of fact shrug.

Ian opened his mouth to argue but found he actually couldn’t think of a single thing to say, chest deflating as all the fight drained out of him. Mickey was watching him with a strange look in his eyes and despite the fact that Ian hadn’t uttered a single word; he looked as though he had heard whatever he needed to hear. He shook his head and smiled slightly before meeting his eyes with an intensity that made Ian shiver.

“You want to kiss me, that’s fine, but not when you’re drunk. I don’t need to go around forcing myself on people, that’s not my thing. You want something to happen you have to make it happen. It’s your choice Gallagher.”

With those words he turned and pushed his way out on to the dance floor in search of his brother, leaving Ian standing there with the taste of the other man’s lips still lingering on his tongue.

The rest of the night was a complete blur.

Once Ian regained control of his legs, which took a few minutes considering his shock and inebriation, he proceeded to text Alice to let her and Patrick know that he was leaving, head too fried to even consider hanging around. He had a bit of a walk to the next stop and he spent it in a daze smoking half his carton of cigarettes in an effort to keep himself occupied. By the time he reached the train he was starting to feel the cold hand of regret wrapping its fingers around his windpipe and squeezing. When he arrived at his stop he had a bitter taste in his mouth that only intensified once he was stood outside Isaac’s, sorry, _their_ apartment.

It was dark inside when he entered, a clear indication that Isaac was already asleep; he tended to go to bed pretty early on his nights off. A quick glance at the clock told him it was nearly midnight and he hesitated in the doorframe once he reached the entrance to the bedroom. He took one look at Isaac’s sleeping form and realised that he couldn’t bring himself to crawl in beside him, not at that moment in time. He dragged himself back into the sitting room and flopped down on the couch with his face in his hands. He knew that he couldn’t keep doing what he was doing; it wasn’t fair to anyone involved.

Isaac was the first guy who wanted to be with him, the first guy who wanted him for _more_ than sex. The first guy that didn’t try to hit him or steal his money or any of the usual crap he had put up with before in relationships. Isaac put up with his shit, even when he was being dramatic or emotional, as he had been told he _often_ tended to be. What if this was the best he was ever going to get? What if Isaac was the only guy in the world who’d want to date a bipolar stripper? He hadn’t thought he was difficult to date before Isaac but he _must_ have been, he must have just never realised it. Maybe _that_ was why none of his previous relationships had ever worked. Maybe all the shitty relationships were just his fault.

He ended up tossing and turning all night, eyelids not growing heavy until well after 4am. His thoughts were racing, the storm in his mind making him feel like he was breaking apart, like a ship _crashing_ against the rocks. The effects of the alcohol slowly retreated leaving him with a thumping headache and he pushed his face into the couch cushion as if it was a physical person he could hide from. By the time sun started to creep in through the blinds he was barely holding onto consciousness, head too fuzzy to focus on any particular thought.

But there was one thing he knew for _certain_ as sleep finally took him.

He _needed_ to forget about Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was a bit late coming. As an apology I decided to make it nearly 9000 words long so I hope that makes up for it! :) Thank you for all the absolutely amazing comments on the last chapter and I hope you all enjoy this one just as much. I know it wasn't very interesting but I hope its satisfactory!
> 
> Follow me at :glassheartxo.tumblr.com


	8. Crescendo

The first thought to cross Ian’s mind when he awoke that morning wasn’t really a thought so much as a sensation of _pain._ He let out an audible groan and pressed the heels of his hands into his eye sockets as a sharp jolt wracked through his head that made him feel like someone had taken a sledgehammer to his skull. After spending a solid 5 minutes determining that death wasn’t about to take him anytime soon he pushed himself to his feet, swaying slightly on the spot. For a minute the room span like he was after getting off a particular horrible carnival ride called ‘ _Vodka_ ’ and he found himself praying for unconsciousness so he wouldn’t have to deal with the sensations assaulting his body. The universe, being the cruel mistress it was, did not grant him the reprieve and he managed to make it to the bathroom in one piece. He proceeded to splash his face with cold water after taking his meds, dragging himself to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to soothe his cotton mouth and popping two painkillers in an attempt to make his head feel less like it was going to explode. He finally managed to make it to the bedroom to find Isaac in the middle of getting dressed; a strange look on his face as he eyed Ian’s dishevelled form.

“Hey, why didn’t you come to bed last night?” he questioned as he reached down to fix the laces on his boots.

“I was really drunk, didn’t want to wake you.” Ian replied lamely while shuffling his feet.

“Silly, you shouldn’t drink so much, it makes you a sloppy mess” Isaac chided with a smile that didn’t match the judgemental look in his eyes.

Ian smiled back weakly, praying for the other man to stop talking so he could go back to bed for a few more hours. Due to a schedule mistake Ian had earned himself the next two nights off and as such was free to sleep all day if he wanted, which was looking tempting. Isaac brushed past him and paused at the last second to hover in the doorframe and give Ian a look he couldn’t quite decipher.

“Hey, maybe we could go out for dinner tonight? It’s been a while since we went on a date.”

Ian’s head whipped around in shock from where he had been eying the bed with longing. A while was _really_ underselling it, the last time Ian and Isaac had been on a date had been the week he moved in, Isaac rarely made time to do anything with Ian anymore.

“Are you serious?” he questioned hesitantly, trying to figure out if there was some kind of catch involved.

“Yeah, sure why not? I know it will make you happy, you’ve seemed very down lately, hopefully it might cheer you up.” Isaac said with a shrug before offering Ian a genuine smile that had his own lips twitching into a shy smile; it was the first conversation they’d had in weeks that wasn’t tinged with an unpleasant undercurrent.

“I’d like that, a lot”

“Then we’ll do it, try not to sleep all day, it’s lazy” Isaac added while walking off.

Well, it wasn’t _perfect_ but it was the closest to perfect they were going to get. Ian waited till he heard the apartment door click shut before removing his clothes as quickly as possible and flinging them in every direction. He was in his sweatpants and in bed before he could count to ten.

He had thought sleep would immediately take him but he found himself hovering between exhaustion and consciousness, mind unable to shut down. He couldn’t stop replaying the previous night’s events over and over again in almost perfect detail. He had kissed _Mickey_.

Mickey.

The source of his waking and sleeping fantasies, the man he couldn’t get out of his head no matter how hard he tried to erase him from his thoughts. He could remember the kiss in perfect detail, as if he hadn’t consumed a single drop of alcohol. The feeling of Mickey’s lips against his own, the sounds, the _taste._ If he concentrated hard enough he could still remember the feeling of the other man’s hands on his body, his touch tattooed to Ian’s skin permanently. He buried his head into his pillow and let out a drawn out sigh, his stomach fluttering annoyingly when he thought about what happened. About what _might_ have happened if they hadn’t stopped, if Mickey hadn’t stopped.

He didn’t know whether he should be disappointed or happy about that, which probably told him all he needed to know if he was being honest with himself. He flipped over onto his back, ignoring the sharp pain that laced across his temples and praying the painkillers would kick in soon.

He knew the thing he had with Mickey was wrong, knew he had to put an end to it. Knowing this didn’t make it any easier.

What he felt with Mickey was exciting, overwhelming and all-consuming. It was passionate and _explosive_ , but it wasn’t right. Isaac might have been boring, he might not make Ian feel sparks when they touched, but he wanted to be with Ian, which is something that didn’t happen very often. He was willing to put up with Ian’s mood swings, with his undesirable behaviour – things that were important when seeking out a partner. Sure he could be a bit cold and harsh sometimes but he liked Ian.

At least, he _hoped_ he did.

He had to talk to Mickey, had to say that he made his choice and that he was choosing Isaac. Safe, albeit boring Isaac who wanted to spend Saturday nights in front of the TV and accepted the fact that Ian could be difficult sometimes.

After a solid 10 minutes of staring at the ceiling fan he reached his hand out to search through his jeans for his phone, the action taking longer than it should have as a result of his pounding head. He unlocked the phone tentatively and saw he had a text from Alice.

 **[8.40] Ally:** _Hahahhahahahahah I’m dying. I have work. Kill me now. You and Trick can go fuck yourselves with your lie ins. Hope you die. P.s Disregarding that last line, I hope you’re okay. You left pretty early last night, text me later and let me know how you feel!_

Ian smiled slightly to his self before opening up a blank message and staring at the screen for a good minute, mind unable to form words when he was a cocktail of hung over and stressed. He typed out seven different messages and deleted them instantly, mind tripping like a new born fawn over all the different emotions he was feeling. He finally settled on one he could live with, decided to rip off the band aid and deal with the problem head on.

 **[9.20] Ian:** _Hey, can we talk?_

He only had to wait about a minute for a reply but it felt like the longest minute of his life.

 **[9.21] Mickey:** _Right now?_

 **[9.22] Ian:** _No, too hung over. Are you free later?_

 **[9.23] Mickey:** _Same. Yeah, after 5, you want me to come over?_

 **[9.24] Ian:** _Yeah, any time after 5 would be fine._

 **[9.24] Mickey:** _Ok, see you then Gallagher._

Ian tossed his phone onto the bed side table and wrapping himself into the bed sheets tightly, the blankets providing him with a protective barrier from the stresses outside his bedroom.  The pain in his head had started to recede slightly and he was feeling more human than he had when he first work up. He was still nervous about talking to Mickey but he knew there was no point worrying about it anymore.

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift away, surrendering himself to exhaustion as his mind started to wander, the memory of a touch warming his bones and soothing his frazzled nerves.

*

When Mickey had woken up to his sister screaming his name down the hallway he had contemplated shooting her but he decided there was a slight chance he might regret it when he was feeling more like a human and less like he had been hit by a car.

“Miiiiiick, wake up you lazy shit! You promised to hang out with me today like a good big brother” Molly whined as she flung open his bedroom door.

“That was before I apparently decided that it would be a good idea to drink the equivalent of Lake Michigan last night” he half-groaned while attempting to pull his head out of the pillow.

“Boo-hoo, that sounds like a whole lot of your problem”

“I genuinely really fucking hate you right now”

“What if I made coffee?”

“Less talking more making” he muttered while sitting up against the headboard and stretching.

He was tempted to lock the door once she was gone and go back to sleep but he knew she wouldn’t give up, she was a hard person to ignore. He was nearly finished his morning cigarette when she returned with caffeine and aspirin, things that made feel less like strangling her and dumping her body somewhere. She had the decency to remain mostly silent while he downed his coffee, fiddling with her phone and letting him stew in silence for a few blessedly peaceful minutes.

“Time for self-pity is up, get in the shower, I want to go get pancakes in a while" she demanded while slapping him on the thigh, the bed sheet doing nothing to absorb the sharp sting of her palm.

“Little bitch” he muttered while kicking back the sheet, complaining all the way to the bathroom.

When he got out of the shower me made sure to hang around the bathroom for a few extra minutes, having another cigarette in an attempt to steal a few extra minutes to himself. When he emerged he found his bedroom was empty and dressed quickly before his demon of a half-sister could barge into his room and start shouting at him. His head was still much too sore to handle high volumes. When he finally ventured out of his bedroom he found her draped across his couch in front of the TV, eyes glued to some reality TV show that made his brain bleed.

“You look less like road kill now, rough night?” she asked without tearing her eyes from the screen.

“You could say that” he muttered under his breath.

His sister cast him a curious glance at his cryptic answer, eyebrow raised in question.

“It was Nika’s birthday” he offered by way of explanation, her head nodding sympathetically in understanding.

“Damn, that woman really knows how to knock them back doesn’t she?”

“Tell me about it, Iggy tried to match her shot for shot, you should have heard the language he was trying to speak when I got him in the taxi because it definitely wasn’t one I’d ever heard of” he replied with a snort.

Molly was distracted from answering by his phone vibrating on the coffee table, the sound abrasive on the glass surface. Before he could protest she had snatched it up to pass over to him, the look of suspicion on his face told him straight away who the sender was as her eyes zeroed in on the screen.

“Why is Isaac’s boyfriend texting you?”

“None of your fucking business” he snapped while grabbing the phone out of her hand none too gently.

He unlocked the phone to read the text, the weight of Molly’s gaze weighing down on him in a way that was hard to ignore.

 **[9.20] Ian:** _Hey, can we talk?_

“What does he want to talk to you about” she prompted while sliding closer to him on the couch.

“The stock market” he replied dryly while shooting back a reply.

His phone buzzed again barely a minute later and he was too engrossed in texting back to notice the calculating look that formed on Molly’s face over the next few minutes, the clogs whirring in her head as she formed her own conclusions.

“You fucked him didn’t you?!” she exclaimed suddenly, slapping his arm to get his attention.

“No I did not fuck him” he replied hotly. ‘ _I wish’_ his rather traitorous mind supplied rather unhelpfully.

“Bullshit, well, something happened anyway and I am not backing down till you tell me” she demanded while crossing her arms and pinning him with a look he had seen on Mandy and Svetlana’s faces too often.

“I miss when you were 8 and all you wanted me to do was to take you to get ice cream” he sighed while tossing his phone aside.

“I know I was cute, that’s old news. Don’t change the subject” she deadpanned with a look that very reminiscent of his old principal.

“We kissed last night – that’s all” he added quickly when he saw the look of triumph begin to bloom on his sister’s face.

“I knew something happened, you have _no_ game when it comes to hiding things. No game at all. Is that why he wants to talk to you?”

“I guess, he’s probably feeling all tore up about it, which I _knew_ he would. That’s why I stopped it before it got too heated” he replied with a shrug.

“Woah. Woah. Woah woah woah woah.” Molly said with a look of genuine shock on her face.

“Really? 6 woahs?”

“You denied yourself sex? You? Really?” Molly questioned looking she had just discovered a new species.

“Less with the judge-y holier than thou attitude pigtails, I’m single. I can do whatever or whoever the fuck I want” he snapped while rubbing his bottom lip in an agitated fashion.

“Exactly. You can do whatever you want, and you didn’t do it. Why?”

“I don’t know” he admitted, “There’s just something about him, he always seem so down every time I see him, no matter how hard he tries to hide it. I just didn’t want to add to his list of things to beat himself up about. I don’t want to be someone’s horrific drunken mistake, makes the sex a bit depressing”

“That was…surprisingly _deep_ for you Mick, maybe you're growing up?” Molly teased with a nudge to his side.

“Or maybe I’ve always been this fucking wise and none of you ever listen to me” he replied while shoving her back in a way that, he would later _deny_ , was affectionate.

“That sounds unlikely” Molly said with a grin before throwing her legs across his lap and whipping out her phone, falling silent once again.

Mickey couldn’t help but feel curious about what Ian wanted to talk about; although he had a feeling it was probably part of his attempt to guilt trip himself into the grave. He honestly wouldn’t be shocked if the redhead said he didn’t want to see him again, he seemed the type to beat himself up. Either way there was no point thinking about it, he wasn’t going to stalk him if he wasn’t interested.

He had enjoyed the kissing, had enjoyed it a _lot_ , would have been _very_ happy to continue it, but it wasn’t up to him.

It was up to _Ian._

He was the one with the boyfriend, he was the one with the hang ups, and it was up to him to make decisions that could affect his life, not Mickey.

Although he rather selfishly knew what choice he hoped Ian would make. After all, he was only human. And Gallagher was the _most_ ridiculously good looking person he had ever seen.

But none the less, he had set the ball rolling. It was up to Ian to decide what direction it was going.

*

The next time Ian woke up he felt much more refreshed than he had that morning, headache having finally faded away after a decent sleep. He stretched languidly, enjoying the feeling of the soft sheets on his bare skin as he slowly came back into consciousness. He could hear the muffled buzz of traffic outside and it provided a peaceful backdrop as he lay in the comfort of his skin warmed sheets. He reached blindly for the nightstand to grab his phone, the screen informing him that it was 15:30. That left him with roughly an hour and half till Mickey got there.

The memory of his arrangement to talk with the other man caused a treacherous feeling of excitement mixed with nerves to seep into his system causing him to feel jittery and restless. He threw back the covers and peeled off his sweatpants on his way to the bathroom in the hopes that a shower might soothe his racing mind. Also he couldn’t meet with a man he wanted to fuck (in his _mind_ at least) looking like he had been dragged backwards through a bush.

He climbed under the warm stream and almost moaned as the water starting to unravel his tense muscles, he had always been prone to body aches after a night of drinking. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there but it was long enough for his mind to start to wander to thoughts of the previous night. The very _satisfying_ and enjoyable parts of the previous night. He felt himself start to harden and shook his head in frustration before forcing himself to get out. He couldn’t be filling his head with sexual thoughts if he wanted to get through the conversation without talking through his dick.

By the time he had gotten dressed and made toast it was still only just after 4 and he felt the uncertainty start to creep and wreak havoc on his nerves. He sat out in the balcony with his coffee and smoked a cigarette, trying to focus on the sights and sounds of the city below in an attempt to distract himself. He was very distressed when he checked his phone after smoking three a row to see it was just about half 4. He dragged himself back inside and threw himself down on the couch, resigning himself to channel surfing in an attempt to pass the time. He managed to get absorbed in Jeremy Kyle, the only show that made him feel like his own life wasn’t beyond repair just yet.

He was so absorbed that he nearly jumped off the couch in shock when he heard a knock on the apartment door. He was across the room in the blink of an eye but found himself hesitating when he reached the door, fingers hovering over the handle uncertainly. He steadied his breathing and attempted to school his expression into something that exuded cool confidence, swinging the door open before he could work himself into a fine lather.

Any attempts to play it cool were derailed the _minute_ he locked eyes with Mickey.

He felt his breath escape him without his permission, his mouth forming a grin that he couldn’t keep his off face if he tried. When the corner of Mickey’s mouth quirked up into a smile he felt his chest tighten in a way he would continue to deny to himself when he was alone with his thoughts.

“Hey” he breathed, skin feeling two sizes to small due to their proximity.

“Ey, you uh, gonna let me in or should I get comfortable here?” Mickey questioned with amusement in his eyes.

“Uh sure yeah come in” Ian replied with a twinge of embarrassment at his no doubt dazed reaction, side stepping to allow Mickey to walk past into the apartment.

He closed the door, the snap of the lock clicking into place making him feel like he had just locked himself in a cage with a wild animal. Which wasn’t too far off, he was just stuck in a room with a man who made him act like a wild animal. A man who made him tap into something primal and animalistic within himself. Something that he was struggling to contain, he could feel it clawing to get out of his chest every time he touched Mickey, every time he was within 2 feet of him.

He steeled himself for what he had to say and turned to approach the brunette who had made himself comfortable on the couch. Ian circled around nervously, coming to stop beside the coffee table. Mickey was sitting with his arms stretched out along the back of the couch, face impassive and blank. He felt a tingle run up his spine when their eyes accidently met for a second and had to control the shudder that ran through his body at the action.

“So um, I called you here because I had something I wanted to talk about” he began while scratching his head awkwardly.

“You don’t say” Mickey replied, the faintest trace of sarcasm apparent in his tone.

Ian quickly shot him a look that shut him up, the brunette schooling his expression into something that looked a bit more mollified than before.

“As I was saying…I wanted to talk about last night” he said, voice sounding much more confident than he felt as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table. He quickly decided that it probably wasn’t his best idea as their legs were now basically tangled in front of them and he was close enough to see Mickey's face in detail.

When Mickey didn’t react other than to raise his eyebrow Ian took it as a sign to continue.

“I… I shouldn’t have done that, it was inappropriate. I’m sorry”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Huh?” Ian responded, head flying up to survey Mickey who was looking at him with curiosity.

“What are you sorry for? Because you know that I was up for it, so you’re obviously not apologising for making me feel uncomfortable” he prompted while tilting his head to the side, eyes raking all over Ian’s face.

He felt his skin getting hot under Mickey’s scrutiny, his gaze making Ian feel like he was cracked open and laid bare in front of him. The air was heavy around them and Ian could feel the tension growing between them like flames spreading.

“I’m sorry because I did something I shouldn’t” Ian replied, tongue feeling heavy in his mouth. “That’s how people usually feel in that scenario.”

“No, I don’t think that’s it either” Mickey said while sitting forward, bringing their faces closer together.

Ian found himself swallowing audibly, his eyes locked on the other man’s like lasers as they continued to stare each other down. He could feel a pull deep within him, like a magnetic force was trying to drag something out of him. That something was the truth.

“I’m sorry because I _enjoyed_ kissing you. I’m sorry because I _regret_ not going further. I’m sorry because I find myself fantasizing about you _all_ the time and I don’t know how to stop” Ian half-snapped, words spilling out of him uncontrollably like a tidal wave.

“Then don’t stop” Mickey replied, leaning in even closer until their faces were just a few inches apart.

“I have to stop” Ian basically whispered, the other man close enough that he didn’t have to raise his voice for him to hear him.

“Why?”

“Because, this is a mistake. I have a boyfriend” Ian replied, voice slightly firmer when spoke again despite the fact that he was close enough to feel the warmth of Mickey’s breath ghosting across his lips.

“If you’re so happy with your boyfriend, why am I even here?” Mickey asked, eyes dropping down to scan Ian’s lips for a moment before flicking back up to meet his gaze.

“Because I can’t stay away from you” he muttered lowly, ignoring the bit about being happy with Isaac. He didn’t have enough energy at that moment in time to convince himself he was happy with Isaac _and_ ignore his desire for Mickey. To deny the heat coiling in his stomach.

“Maybe that should tell you something.”

“Oh it does, believe me it does” Ian replied with an almost hysterical laugh before his voice softened again. “Doesn’t mean that it isn’t a mistake.”

“You’re right” Mickey said suddenly, leaning back so fast that it nearly gave Ian whiplash, his body feeling suddenly cold now that the brunette wasn’t in his proximity.

“It probably is a mistake, but there are three types of mistakes. There are the kind of mistakes that you _can’t_ live with making, the kind you _can_ live with making, and the type that you cannot live _without_ making. You just have to decide which kind of mistake this is.” Mickey said while leaning back against the couch, body relaxed despite the almost predatory look in eyes.

Ian felt his mouth open but he couldn’t form the words he wanted, the words of protest. He wanted to say _something_ that would shut down the feeling that was starting to build in his chest, wanted to say something to gain the upper hand, but he was having a hard time thinking with his blood pumping so furiously through his veins. His skin felt like it was on fire and he was having trouble sitting still, foot starting to tap as he clenched his fists on his thighs.

After a tortuous minute of silence Mickey gave him a smirk and shifted on the couch with a contemplative look in his eye.

“Look, I can see I’ve given you a lot to think about so I’ll leave you to it. You probably need some time to think so I should just go.” Mickey said while pointed his thumb in the direction of the door.

Ian isn’t sure what came over him, if he had a thousand years to replay the moment he doubts he could understand what possessed him. But when he saw Mickey shift his body weight to leave his brain seemed to short circuit and the next thing he knew he was moving as well.

His lips brushed Mickey’s and he felt fireworks explode behind his closed eyelids as the other man immediately responded, kiss instantly becoming rough and needy. Before he knew what was happening he was climbing into Mickey's lap and pinning him against the back of the couch, hands coming up tangle in the dark hair at the nape of his neck. Ian licked his mouth open, moaning at the feeling of the other man’s lips parting so eagerly for him. Their tongues slid together in slow but firm strokes and Ian felt almost dizzy, one hand slipping down to fist in Mickey’s shirt. He was overwhelmed by the need to possess him, to claim him as his own. All Ian could smell, all he could taste was Mickey and the sensory overload was making his head spin.

When the Mickey’s hands came up to grip Ian’s hips he gasped into his mouth, his fingers applying enough pressure to leave bruises on his pale hips. Ian slid his tongue back into the warm heat of Mickey’s mouth, thrusting it against the brunettes desperately as his hands started to roam his body. When Mickey’s hand slipped down to hold his ass he moaned and pulled back to bite Mickey's bottom lip, noticing that his pupils were so dilated that there was only a thin ring of blue left. Feeling frenzied, Ian proceeded to roughly manoeuvre him till he was on his back before climbing on top of him. He leaned down to conquer Mickey’s lips, biting and sucking on them till they were red and swollen before capturing his mouth in a proper kiss, the slow burn making his blood feel like it was on fire.

He lowered his body to settle between Mickey’s thighs, barely stifling a moan when their dicks brushed through their clothes. He involuntarily thrust against the hard body beneath him, a spark of pleasure shooting up and down his spine at the quiet bitten off sound Mickey made underneath him. He rolled his hips again, eyes nearly crossing in pleasure at the sensation as he slid a hand underneath Mickey’s shirt to caress the warm smooth skin beneath it. He leaned down to part the other man’s lips with his tongue again, the swirling of their tongues matching the movement of their hips as they start to grind against each other in earnest, both of them suffocating their moans into each other’s mouths. Ian’s hands slid up and started to undo the buttons on Mickey’s shirt, slightly mortified by how bad his hands were shaking, desire coursing through him in waves.

He managed to get them all open without breaking the kiss, hands pushing the material off his shoulders with ease as if they were old lovers. It wasn’t until the fabric was gone that he finally pulled back to look, mouth feeling dry at the sight of the other man’s chest laid bare before him. He leaned forward to scrape his teeth along the brunette’s pale neck, tracing his collarbones with his tongue before trailing his lips up to suck a dark mark just under his jaw. He knew it was reckless but he couldn’t help but feel the need to childishly mark him, Mickey’s little gasps encouraging him to continue. When he felt the other man’s fingers scrambling to push up his t-shirt he leaned back and lifted it over his head in one smooth motion, eager for skin on skin contact. The first glide of their skin together made his synapses feel like they were on fire, his skin almost vibrating at the sensation. He swiped his tongue across Mickey’s bottom lip and the combination of their lips and skin meeting made him go into overdrive, heart pounding so hard that he was afraid it was going to burst.

He leaned back, hands flying immediately to Mickey’s belt to undo it, fingers making short work of the buckle. Once he had the other man’s zip down he leaned back to give him room to remove the rest of his clothes, Ian removing his sweatpants hastily and kicking them away. Once they were left in only their underwear they crashed back together, Ian letting out an undignified sound of shock when Mickey proceeded to pin him this time. When Mickey ground down against him with only the thin material of their boxers between them Ian practically whined, pre cum leaking and causing a wet patch to appear on the fabric. When Mickey’s head ducked down to nose and kiss at his neck Ian was pretty sure he was about to implode, the other man’s lips creating a trail of fire everywhere they went. The brunette’s tongue flicked out to tease Ian’s nipple causing him to thrust against his chest, seeking some relief for the building ache between his thighs. His mouth continued to go lower, trailing over the flat planes of his stomach, the sharp jut of his hipbone and down to his inner thighs, Mickey’s hot breath ghosting over his cock making him thrust into thin air desperately.

When his mouth started to creep back up Ian leaned up to capture it again, to chase the taste he had been craving all this time. His whole body went stiff with anticipation when he felt Mickey hook his thumbs under the waistband of his underwear before slowly sliding them down and freeing his throbbing dick, the burst of cool air making him moan involuntarily. He reached up to push Mickey’s down as well, too impatient to wait for the other man to do it himself. He heard Mickey let out a shaky ‘ _fuck_ ’ and felt his chest flush when he realised his eyes were trailing up and down Ian’s body. It had been awhile since he had been made feel sexy in bed and he felt a bit like a preteen for a minute under Mickey's hot gaze. Ian reached up to pull him down for an open mouthed kiss, craving the feeling of their naked bodies touching. When their cocks brushed together this time Ian literally _mewled_ and he found himself desperately clawing at Mickey in an attempt to get closer to him.

Mickey pushed up off him and began to root around in his jeans, straddling Ian once again when he was done. He leaned down and pried Ian’s lips open with his own before curling their tongues together slickly making Ian warm from his head to his toes. He was so distracted by Mickey’s talents with his tongue that he didn’t realise Mickey was preparing himself till he let out a low moan against Ian’s mouth. Ian was entranced by the sight of Mickey fingering himself open, was almost a 100% sure he had started babbling under his breath but he was finding it hard to care. Mickey curled his fingers and let out a sound that was close to a whine that had Ian clutching his thighs until his knuckles turned white, entranced by the pink flush that had spread against Mickey’s chest and face. When Mickey threw the condom at him his hands shook with excitement as he rolled it down, dick aching for release at that point. He fumbled with the lube he had left on the ground, thanking the God’s that Mickey had brought stuff with him because if he had to go get his own stuff from the bedroom he would have exploded. He slicked up his cock, moaning at the feeling of his own fingers wrapped around him as he pumped the shaft.

Before Ian could work up to a good pace Mickey’s hand was replacing his, his other hand braced on Ian’s chest for balance as he lined up his cock with his entrance, Ian’s heart pounding in anticipation. He was holding onto Mickey’s hips desperately, skin slicked with sweat as his lungs burned with every breath. He leaned forward at the same time Mickey finally sank down oh so _slowly_ , their foreheads meeting as they gasped into each other’s open mouths. Mickey’s thighs shook and tensed around him as he adjusted and Ian let out a low moan as he dug his fingers into Mickey’s hips.

“Fuck Mickey, so fucking tight” Ian gasped against the brunette’s swollen lips as he tried his best to adjust to the vice like grip around his dick.

Mickey slid up until only the tip of Ian’s dick was inside, squeezing tightly before slamming back down and causing them both to cry out, Ian’s eyes rolling back into his head as he saw stars. He grabbed at Mickey’s thighs and hips desperately, watched in wonder as he tipped his head back and moaned, rolling his hips with depth and precision. Ian watched in wonder as Mickey began to fuck himself on Ian’s cock letting out muffled profanity’s under his breath He leaned back properly and started to ride Ian almost fluidly, and Ian attempted to push up to rest on his elbows, pleasure pulsing through his body in waves. Ian was hypnotised by Mickey’s parted lips and shallow breaths, the way his brow looked furrowed in concentration as fucked himself harder on Ian’s cock. He had never felt anything as intense as the feeling of Mickey clenching around him as he took him deep with each roll of hips. He was completely entranced by everything that was playing out in front of him, trying to commit every detail into his memory. The smell of sex in the air mixed with Mickey’s natural scent, the way his eyelids were fluttering, the punched out noises he was making and the slick sounds of Ian’s cock sliding in and out of him. Ian planted his feet firmly on the couch and started to thrust up causing Mickey to actually whine in pleasure.

He fucked up into Mickey hard until they reached an almost blinding pace, the only sound permeating the apartment was their skin smacking together mingled with their moans and gasps. Ian adjusted his hips slightly to the right and was rewarded with Mickey actually _crying_ out and letting Ian know he had found his prostate. Ian redoubled his efforts and started relentlessly thrusting in and out and making sure to jab the same spot with every thrust causing Mickey to basically howl with pleasure, his own moans nearly drowning out the brunettes gasps. Ian’s hands reached out to grab Mickey’s ass and basically slide him up and down on his cock as his thrusts started to become erratic. Mickey was leaking steadily all over his stomach and when Ian reached up to wrap his fingers around his cock he jerked in pleasure before slowly sliding down and causing Ian to bottom out, resting for a second.

Ian was about to ask what he doing when he started to slowly grind down on him rather than moving up and down, instead using his hips to make circles. Ian felt like he about to catch fire and when he thrust up this time he was rewarded with Mickey tightening around him so hard that his vision nearly went white. His ass was completely pressed against Ian’s hips and all he could do was rock into his lap while making the most amazing noises Ian had ever heard. Ian sat up suddenly bringing their chests flush together and leaned up to lick at the sweat that had formed on Mickey’s neck and collarbones. He started to drive his hips upwards, hitting Mickey’s prostate over and over again causing the brunette to let out desperate broken moans against his neck. Ian reached up to grab a fistful of Mickey’s hair and forced his head back before sealing their lips together in a brutal kiss. He started to lick and bite at Mickey’s neck before wrapping his hand around his dick to pump him in time with his thrusts. When he started to feel Mickey’s thighs tremble around him he leaned in, aware that his own impending orgasm was only seconds away.

He pressed his mouth against Mickey's ear and started to mutter nonsense about how he was _amazing_ , _hot_ , _sexy_ and these other attributes before he finally felt his hips start to stutter uncontrollably. All it took was for Mickey to slam down hard and clench around him and he was gone. Lights exploded behind his eyes as he arched off the couch and spilled into the tight heat, white hot pleasure searing through his veins and making him nearly sob over and over again. He continued to thrust up feebly trying to make the most of the aftershocks, pleasure making his whole body feel pliant and sated. When he finally managed to open his eyes he was greeted with the sight of Mickey hovering above him, mouth only inches away from his as he braced himself and tried to catch his breath. The sticky feeling of drying cum on his stomach let him know that Mickey must have come at some point during or after his orgasm but Ian really couldn’t remember. He had just had his brains fucked out. Mickey eventually started to stir, shifting back onto his heels so that Ian’s softening dick could slip out.

Ian felt like his legs were made of jelly and he was having a hard time getting his breathing under control as he surveyed the face of the man who had just made him cum harder than he ever had before. He felt like he should say something, should put what he was feeling into words but honestly, he didn’t think they’d yet to invent a word that described _how_ Mickey made him feel.

“I, I just… I” Ian said between pants as he tried to put his thoughts into words.

“You’re a poet and a wordsmith” Mickey said with a smirk while stretching languidly, Ian’s eyes flying down to commit his body to memory.

“Fuck off” Ian shot back while averting his eyes away from the brunette’s amused face.

“Such a gentleman, you got your fuck and now you want me to go”

“No – no I didn’t mean that I –“

“Gallagher, I’m messing, calm the fuck down” Mickey replied while slapping Ian on the chest.

Ian felt his face heat up with embarrassment at his slight panic, he was just so used to Isaac constantly trying to pick fights and make him feel bad that he presumed that Mickey was about to do the same. He couldn’t control the spark of longing when Mickey pulled off him and started reaching for his clothes, selfishly wishing that he didn’t have to go. He got up and headed to the bathroom to wipe the dried in cum off his stomach and chest, throwing on a clean pair of sweats before heading back out. He thought for a brief second that Mickey was already gone before spotting him out on the balcony, leaning against the railing with a cigarette hanging between his lips. Ian grabbed his own carton off the coffee table before joining him outside, the cool breeze causing him to shiver slightly as he placed the filter between his lips.

His mouth quirked up in a small smile when Mickey held the lighter out to him without looking, a jolt running through his body when their fingers brushed. He inhaled a deep lungful of nicotine and hummed in pleasure as he exhaled, he had always loved to have a cigarette after good sex and he hadn’t good sex in a _long_ time. He caught the brunette smirking at his almost exaggerated reaction out of the corner of his eye and he couldn’t even deny the warmth he felt in his stomach. He stepped forward cautiously to stand beside Mickey, arms brushing together as they draped over the railing. When he made no move to step away Ian felt a pleasant tingling feeling in his skin, childish excitement causing his veins to light up like Christmas lights. They smoked in companionably silence, limbs brushing as they breath in and out, surveying the signs of life bustling away beneath them. The warmth rolling off Mickey’s body mixed with his scent had Ian feeling content and relaxed, all his worries temporarily forgotten.

He felt bereaved when the other man finally pulled back and flung his burnt out cigarette butt off the balcony.

“Well, I got places I gotta be Gallagher”

“Oh, I guess I’ll see you around” Ian replied almost shyly, the feeling of having someone give him butterflies something he hadn’t felt since he was 15.

The feeling reminded him of being young and healthy again.

“I’m sure you will, you know where to find me” Mickey said with a smirk before turning on his heel and heading back inside. “I’ll let myself out”

Ian felt the majority to his good mood disappear once he heard the door open and shut, like Mickey had sucked all the joy out of the room when he left it. He finished his cigarette and headed back inside, throwing on a sweatshirt in the hopes of combating the chill that had settled in his bones. He threw himself back down on the couch and couldn’t help the thrill that ran up his spine when he remembered what he had been doing on it just barely 20 minutes ago.

His fond daydreaming was broken by his phone vibrating in his pocket; shattering the illusion he had immersed himself in. When he saw he had a text from Isaac he immediately sobered up, all warmth creeping out of him till he felt hollow again. He remembered them planning a date and felt guilt starting to claw its way to the surface. He knew he should probably tell him, should probably tell the truth but _honestly,_ he was lost. Ian could safely say he didn’t have a clue what he should do. He wasn’t sure if he should be with him at all. He unlocked the phone and couldn’t control the derisive laughter that threatened to bubble up out of his chest when he read the message.

 **[5.59] Isaac:** _Sorry Ian but I won’t be able to take you out tonight, I’m working late. See you later._

Ian could honestly say he wasn’t the least bit surprised; it was a typical Isaac move. He had cancelled their last few dates in the exact same fashion. He threw his phone onto the coffee table, not even interested in replying to him that point. He thought it was too good to be true that when he finally started to think Isaac might actually care about him he went and proved him wrong again. He was seriously starting to wonder why he even bothered. He planted himself in front of the TV for the rest of the evening, only moving for the bathroom, cigarettes and to answer the door when his delivery arrived. By the time 10’o clock rolled around he was feeling lonely and fed up, sick of spending nearly evening alone. He felt his hackles start to rise when he heard the sound of the key turning in the lock, frustration already starting to peak.

“Hey”

“Hey” Ian called back tonelessly, not bothering to drag his eyes away from the screen as Isaac made his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

He wasn’t even aware that Isaac was talking to him until the other man literally stepped in his way and blocked his view of the TV. Ian leaned back and studied the blonde’s face, noticed the irritation that was present almost instantly.

“Let me guess, you’re annoyed because I cancelled?” he asked dryly while surveying Ian’s pinched face with a look of disdain and weariness.

“That’s uncanny, you should get a job working for one of those mystic fortune telling hotlines you always see on TV, then maybe you’d actually be around once in a while” Ian replied coolly while crossing his arms.

“There’s just always something with you isn’t there?” Isaac replied; smile looking more like a sneer.

“Yeah, according to you there’s always something wrong with me”

“Well I can’t help it that you’re so easily upset, it’s just your faulty DNA” Isaac shot back, voice sharp as he glared at the redhead.

“Go fuck yourself Isaac, you knew what you were signing up to, not my fault you can’t handle it” Ian replied voice shaking as emotion started to creep into his words.

“Yeah but when you said you had bad days I didn’t realise they would be so frequent” he snapped while throwing his hands in the air, his words knocking the air out of Ian’s lungs.

Because this is what Isaac thought was a _bad_ day.

How was he going to react if he ever saw a proper bad day? Sure Ian had days where he felt down and didn’t want to get out of bed, but with his new meds he had yet to have a bad crash. Not yet anyway.

“Get the fuck out of my face you underachieving bastard, it’s not my fault that your little college degree got you nowhere and now you’re stuck selling weed and bartending to get by. Sure, mine didn’t get me anywhere either but at least I accept that, you can’t. You just feel like shit so you wanna drag me down with you” Ian said, voice vibrating with barely held back tears.

Isaac narrowed his eyes at Ian in anger, hands shaking by his side as he tried to calm his breathing. He stomped back into the bedroom and came out wearing his coat, bag slung over his shoulder.

“I’m going to stay in Colin’s tonight, leave you to your little hissy fit. Just cause you're fucking crazy doesn’t mean you get to ruin my night with it” Isaac sniped as he strolled past to the door, slamming it without even saying goodbye or giving him a second glance.

Ian sat in silence for a good 5 minutes after Isaac was gone, the weight of his words crushing his lungs and making him feel empty. He pressed his palms into his eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, chest heaving with barely held back emotion. He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter what Isaac thought; he wasn’t crazy, but it was hard to ignore the words when they represented his worst nightmare.

To be thought of as _crazy_.

He shook his head and wiped his eyes angrily, swiping his phone off the coffee table and thumbing through his contacts till he found the one he was looking for. When he finally reached it he hit call and brought the phone to his ear, his other hand rubbing his face. After only three rings the phone answered.

“Hey baby how you doing?”

“Hey Ally um, can you come over?” Ian asked, trying to his best to mask the shakiness of his voice.

“Sure but, why? You okay?” she replied, worry obvious in her tone.

“Yeah I’m fine I just…” he paused, voice growing hesitant, “Actually, no, I’m not okay. I had a fight with Isaac he’s staying in his brother’s house tonight and I just, I need to see you and Trick, if he’s free”

“Yeah he is, we’ll totally come over. Ice cream or vodka?” she asked, the sound of her keys rattling letting him know she was already getting ready, gratitude flowing through his veins.

“Both, definitely both”

“Alright sweetie, I’ll see you soon.”

“Hey Ally?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you” he said, voice coming out as barely more than a whisper.

“Shut up you big baby” she said with a laugh before pausing, voice softening before she spoke again. “I love you, be there soon.”

Ian curled up against the couch cushions as soon the phone call was over, hugging his knees to his chest as the TV cast a faint blue glow around the darkening room. He didn’t know what was going to happen, didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but there was one thing he was sure of.

It was nothing his friends and vodka couldn’t fix.

 

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I was super nervous to post this chapter, writing smut is nerve wrecking stuff guys haha. I hope you all enjoy the chapter and thank you for all the amazing comments on the last chapter. Also I've had people say they like the idea of Alice and Mandy which I found funny because it wasn't intentional haha.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr if you want to chat at: glassheartxo.tumblr.com


	9. Implosion

Ian Gallagher could safely go on record and say that he got very drunk the night of his big fight with Isaac. He wasn’t proud but he didn’t regret it either despite the fact that he had definitely had a bit more booze than recommended for his meds. The fact of the matter was, Isaac was an _asshole_ and Ian needed to drink until he felt less like screaming and smashing his head off a wall. His altercation with the blonde had left him with a bitter taste in his mouth that didn’t recede until he had downed several bottles of beer. Unfortunately, he realised very quickly that they had yet to invent anything strong enough to erase the taste of Mickey. If anything, Ian found that the more he drank the more his mind wandered towards their encounter.

He could still feel his lips tingling, could still feel the _electricity_ from where their tongues had brushed together as he trailed his fingers over his lips in a slightly dazed manner. He remembered everything in _perfect_ detail, the taste of his sweat slicked skin, his smell, the feeling of Mickey’s body against his, the moans he had made while Ian was inside him. He knew he could say without a doubt that he had never had an orgasm that powerful in his entire life, had never experienced such an _intense_ connection. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, what to do about it. There was only one thing he knew for certain. Having sex with Mickey had done _nothing_ to dim his desire for the other man, if anything it had just tripled it.

He was so distracted by his reminiscing that he didn’t even realise Alice was speaking to him until she delivered a sharp kick to his calf from where she was sat facing him on the couch.

“Carrot cock, you still with us?”

“Yeah yeah I was just distracted” Ian muttered as he clumsily pulled himself into more of a sitting position, waving off the bottle of vodka in his friend’s outstretched hand.

Alice shook her head in an amusement and shot a grin in Patrick’s direction before bringing the bottle up to hover in front of her mouth. “I wonder what was distracting him.”

Patrick let out a snort that caused a light flush to spread across Ian’s face, warmth curling in his chest as he averted his eyes towards the TV.

“Don’t try to act like a blushing virgin, we know well what has you all in a titter, I’m just surprised you’re not at half-mast” Alice said with a wink that had him shoving her legs away from him.

“There’s no point in trying to ignore us, we won’t give up” Patrick teased as he tugged at Ian’s arm from his position on the floor.

“Fine, what do you want me to say?” Ian replied hotly while shrugging away from his grip and crossing his arms.

“Well, we want details!” Alice exclaimed while sitting up straight, interest obvious in her eyes.

“I already gave you enough details, I gave you surround sound details! You want me to draw you a diagram?” Ian mumbled in a half-hearted manner; face heating up as he replayed the details in his own head.

“I wouldn’t object”

“Shut up Trick! No, not the sex details asshole, we want the touchy feely lifetime made-for-TV movie details!” Alice said while cuffing Patrick on the back of head.

“It felt…good. Like really good. And not even in a sexual way because obviously it felt good in the physical sense. I just mean...it was really nice” Ian said with an embarrassed shrug, “I should probably shut up because I’m making no sense.”

“Don’t you dare stop, I want to hear every last piece of gooey shit you have to say” Alice said while pointing a finger at him threateningly.

“I don’t really know how to say it but, Mickey makes me feel alive. It’s like being manic, but without all the bad shit. And I know that probably sounds stupid to you but lately I’ve been feeling... transparent, almost hollow I guess. Like everything just passes through me. I was starting to think that it was just my meds failing but, I never feel it when I’m with you guys. Or with Mickey, so it’s not that either. I think… it’s just…”

“You think it’s just?” Alice prompted after a few seconds of tense silence.

“I think it’s just Isaac” Ian finished, voice barely audible over the sound of the TV.

When Ian finally got the courage to look up he quickly became aware of the suspicious looks on both his friends faces as they stared holes into the side of his head. He realised very quickly he had probably said a bit too much so he forced a fake smile on his face and made to stand up.

“So, does anyone want some –“

“Don’t even try Gallagher, don’t you dare” Alice interrupted as she slammed the bottle of vodka down on the coffee table.

“What do you mean? I –“

“You know well what we mean, get talking baby, we all know it used to be impossible to shut you up and I want to know what changed” Patrick added while pulling himself up to sit in the middle of the couch and dragging Ian back down on the couch by his sweatshirt.

Ian started to open his mouth to make some kind of feeble protest but the dual looks of ferocity on his friends faces quickly shut him up. He heaved out a sigh and leaned back against the arm of the chair so he could survey the two of them properly, fingers twisting in his sweatpants from nerves.

“Isaac is...” he began, voice growing hesitant as he attempted to voice his thoughts, “not very nice to me, not anymore.”

When neither of them made any move to interrupt he grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the coffee table, not speaking again till he had inhaled several drags of nicotine in order to steady his shaking hands. Once he started to speak, he found it impossible to stop. It felt like there was an elastic band inside him that had been stretched too much in different directions, something just _snapped_. The words were flowing out of him in an almost uncontrollable matter and his voice got shakier with every syllable. By the time he was finished Patrick looked visibly shaken and Alice looked ready to scream, face so uncomfortable that Ian started to feel his blood run cold with regret.

“I’m sorry Ally, I didn’t mean to bother you with this” he said quietly, trying to reach out to his friend as she looked so disturbed.

“Shut the fuck up”

“What?” Ian replied uncertainly as he shifted on his seat in discomfort, his friend’s anger taking him aback.

“Shut up. How dare you apologise to me you silly silly boy” she said, voice vibrating with barely held back emotion.

Patrick was shaking his head with a touch of amusement and sadness painted across his face as he looked between the two of them.

“I can’t believe it” Alice whispered after a minute, fists clenched in front of her. “I can’t believe we left you alone with that _bastard._ We should have noticed, we should have done something about it!”

“It’s not a big deal” Ian said after a minute of silence, a sad smile forming on his face as he shrugged.

“Not a big deal” Patrick repeated after a second, voice shaking with slightly hysterical laughter.

“Ian, it is a _big_ fucking deal. He’s an abusive piece of shit and you need to get away from him.” Alice practically growled, her anger shocking Ian into nearly dropping his bottle of beer as he reached to grab it off the coffee table.

“He’s not that bad”

Ian paused when he heard Patrick snort beside him. “Sometimes he can be okay.”

“What a glowing fucking review” Patrick mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.

“Ian, you deserve to be with someone who makes you laugh, someone who makes you smile, someone who likes you the way you are and doesn’t want to change you. You deserve to be with someone who makes you _happy_. Because, you make me so happy _every_ time I see you. Why are you with this asshole?” Alice asked while reaching out to grip his hand.

“Because” Ian said, voice catching in the back of his throat as the full force of his friend’s words hit him. “Because I…“

“You can tell us Ian, you can tell us anything” Patrick added as he took Ian’s other hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Because what if he’s the best I can do?” Ian murmured, eyes filling with tears as the dam inside him finally started to crumble. “Every guy I’ve ever liked has treated me like shit. The majority of them just wanted to fuck me and the ones who actually stuck around were fucking worse. They _lied_ to me, _cheated_ on me, _stole_ from me. And it was okay in college, I wasn’t looking for love but, now I’m getting older and I’m starting to realise there’s a good chance I’m going to end up alone. What if no one else ever wants me? What if Isaac’s right? I’m sick, I’m fucking _sick_ in the head and that’s a fact. I’m a bipolar stripper; I’m not exactly a fucking catch. I don’t want to end up alone so, _maybe_ I should just stick with Isaac, at least he wants to be my boyfriend. Even if I am hard to date, even if I am _crazy_.”

“Oh Ian” Alice said quietly as she reached for him, Ian not even realising he was crying until he felt the tears sliding down his face and landing on his lap.

The minute their arms wrapped around him he felt himself cave in, sobs starting to wrack his body as she shook pitifully in their dual embrace. He felt like his chest was fracturing, lungs burning as all his pain was laid out for everyone to see. The worst part of the whole thing was that he wasn’t _just_ crying because of Isaac, he wasn’t _just_ crying because he was scared of being alone.

He was crying because someone _cared_ about him, and it had been too long since he had felt cared for.

Too long since he felt like he might _matter_ to someone.

When he finally pulled his tear soaked face from Patrick’s shoulder he managed a weak smile which his friends both returned with a bit more enthusiasm than he was able to muster. They tactfully changed the subject after that in lieu of making pizza which Ian was eternally grateful for. He had always been a proud person, the thought of crying in front of people made him squirm internally so he was glad for the reprieve, even if it was only temporary.

It wasn’t until they were curled up in bed later that night that the subject finally crept back into their conversation. Ian was lying in the middle of the bed, Patrick on one side and Alice on the other. His head was warm and fuzzy from the alcohol, his body relaxed due to the close proximity of the people he cared about.

“Seriously though Ian, real talk right now but, you _do_ realise you kind of _have_ to leave him right?” Patrick said suddenly as Ian reached over to steal back his cigarette from where Alice had stolen it.

“Maybe” Ian mumbled before taking a long drag from the filter in an attempt to keep himself busy and to delay having to speak again for another few seconds.

“Maybe?”

“What?”

“Ian, does he make you happy?” Alice interrupted as she turned over to look at him intensely.

“Sometimes-“

“Honestly!”

“… Not really.”

“Does he ask about your day, take an interest in your life?”

“Not really”

“Is he nice to you?”

“Rarely”

“Make time for you?”

“Nope”

“Does he make you laugh?”

“No”

“And… million dollar question!” Alice said dramatically as Patrick made fake drum roll sounds using the headboard. “Is the sex any good?”

“… It’s fucking terrible.” Ian admitted with a sigh.

“Then leave him” Alice said simple while flopping back down on the bed and stealing the cigarette back from him.

“I know I should, probably should have done it the first time he made a comment about my mental health. _Or_ that time he said I was getting fat.” Ian said dryly as he watched Alice stub out his burnt out cigarette with an un-amused look on his face.

“You’ve got plenty more asshole, don’t be a baby, I brought you ice-cream” Alice chided while shaking his half-full box of smokes in his face.

“I can’t believe that motherfucker made a comment about this body” Patrick said while rubbing Ian’s bicep appreciatively. “It’s fucking next level shit, it’s art man. Picasso would weep if he saw that ass.”

“Maybe me and you should have just fallen in love Trick” Ian sighed which caused Alice to snort her drink up her nose.

“Alas it wasn’t to be, you will never be ready for this jelly.” Patrick replied with a wink that had genuine laughter bubbling in Ian’s chest, a bit of the dark mood lifting as the three of them broke into hysterics.

“Pity you’re not into girl’s ginger nut, then you could have just got up on this” Alice added as they finally got their breathing under control, alcohol making everything funnier than it needed to be.

“No way, you’d definitely destroy me. My back would be broken” Ian replied with a smirk.

“Speaking of broken backs, I’m surprised yours is still working after you finally got your hands on your lover boy” Patrick teased while jabbing his fingers into Ian’s sides and making him jump.

“Is his still working?” Alice added with a lewd grin that had his face heating up.

“Go fuck yourselves” Ian replied while attempting to studiously ignore them, a feat made much more difficult by the amount of alcohol in his blood.

“You’re too easy to tease G, your face lights up like the Rockefeller center at Christmas whenever we mention your bae” Patrick said while wiggling his eyebrows at the redhead.

“No it doesn’t” Ian replied hotly while trying to ignore the way his stomach fluttered when he thought about the other man.

“It’s okay, we’ve all been there. You’re just warm for his form” Alice said with a shrug, face dropping slightly when she saw the smile slipping off Ian’s face.

“What?”

“I feel bad for what I did, do you think I’m an asshole?” he asked quietly while picking at the frayed strings on his sweatshirt.

“Well you’re my friend so even if you cheated on the nicest guy in the world I would probably give you a pass _but,_ Isaac is an asshole. He made you feel lonely, ran you down and called you crazy. So no, he can get fucked.” Alice replied simply as Patrick hummed in agreement.

When he didn’t immediately regain his good mood Alice prodded him gently to get his attention, her anticipatory face letting him know she expected to him to speak his mind.

“I think I should tell him. I know he was an asshole _but_ , cheating is a bad thing to do, it’s the _wrong_ thing to do. But I did it anyway and I’m not making excuses for it or rationalising it away. I deserve to get yelled at”

“You do whatever you think is right G, whatever leaves your conscience feeling clearer” Patrick replied with a shrug.

“We love you even if you are lust driven monster” Alice teased while dragging him down to lie between them.

“Adulterous bastard” Patrick added while throwing an arm over his chest.

“Alright enough from you, it’s sleepy time” Alice said with a yawn as she stretched out beside Ian.

“Okay okay, let’s quieten down; you know how badly Ally needs her beauty sleep. Although we’d have to place her in a cryogenic tube for at least 50 years for sleep to make any difference” Patrick mumbled near Ian’s ear causing him to shake silently with held in laughter.

“Get fucked” Alice shot back, exhaustion already colouring her voice.

“I wish”

They spent the next few minutes laying in silence, only the faint sounds of the city outside filling the room. Ian’s eyes slowly got heavier as sleep dragged him down, the warmth from his friend’s bodies cocooning him comfortably on either side. The last time he had shared a bed with his friends had been college and he found it comforting, it was the closest thing he had to the feeling of coming home. He was just toeing the line between being awake and being unconscious when he heard Alice whisper, “I’m going to go all ‘Ronda Rousey’ on that’s fuckers ass next time I see him.”

He smiled faintly and pressed a kiss to his friend’s hair as he edged closer to her, her familiar scent comforting him as he finally greeted sleep.

*

When Ian woke up the next morning he was pleasantly surprised to find that he wasn’t dying as badly as he was the night after the kiss and he quickly thanked the universe that he had been smart enough to avoid spirits. Vodka did dark things to his head ever since he went on his meds.

That being said, he didn’t exactly feel amazing either and was unsurprised to feel a sharp pain in his head as he sat up to survey his surroundings. He was alone in the room but the noises from the kitchen let him know his friends were still there, a fact he was grateful for. He had been waking up alone pretty much the whole time he had lived with Isaac and it was nice not to be greeted by an empty apartment. He grabbed a quick shower and took his meds before dragging himself out to the kitchen where Patrick was lying with his head on the island. Alice was making pancakes with a forlorn look on her face that had Ian struggling not to laugh.

“Good morning”

“Ugh, how dare you use those two words in the same sentence right now” Patrick moaned without even bothering to lift his head.

“Smart ass thinking he’s the business because his pasty ass didn’t touch the vodka” Alice murmured darkly.

She still took the time to pour him a cup of coffee though so he knew she wasn’t too pissed. He accepted it gratefully as he sat down beside Patrick, ruffling his hair fondly and eliciting a pained groan from him in return. They ate their breakfast in relative silence and passed the next half hour sitting out on the balcony and smoking, the fresh air making them all feel slightly more human. When it came time for them to go, Ian found himself hugging them both a bit tighter than he usually would, emotions still swirling within him from the previous night.

He was barely alone for two minutes when the front door swung open violently and Isaac stormed in and slammed it behind him.

“Nice to see you too” he said mildly as Isaac threw his bag on the floor carelessly.

“Don’t you even _start_ with your smart ass routine, not right now” Isaac half growled as he paced across the room to stop in front of Ian. “You’re stupid _slut_ of a friend just called me an asshole and slapped me at the entrance of the building.”

“Shut your fucking mouth, you don’t _get_ to talk about her. You can talk about me all you want, call me very fucking name under the sun. But don’t you _dare_ talk about her” Ian hissed angrily as cold fury flooded his veins.

“Calm the fuck down, why are you always so quick to get upset, Jesus!” Isaac swore as he shook his head in annoyance.

“Because you’re so quick to fucking upset me” Ian replied as his hands started to shake with pent up anger and sadness.

“What did I do this time? Breathe?” Isaac asked while throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“It’s not about this time in particular, it’s about _every_ time. It’s about every time you’ve ever made me feel like _shit,_ every _horrible_ thing you’ve ever said to me” Ian half-shouted causing Isaac’s eyes to widen slightly as he reacted to Ian’s sudden outburst.

“I don’t know what you’re –“

“Yes you do, you know perfectly well what I mean. Just like you know exactly what you’re doing when you say the things you say. You just want to pull me apart bit by bit until there’s nothing left of me” Ian interrupted as tears started to blur his vision.

“You’re clearly overacting, maybe we should talk about this later” Isaac replied with a look of exhaustion written across his face.

“No, you’d gotten plenty of chances to voice your opinions, now it’s time for me to voice mine. You _are_ an asshole. And I’m so _happy_ that Alice hit you, because you deserve it. You’re constantly calling me names, belittling me, using my mental illness as a weapon. You make me feel like I’m going crazy!” Ian half-shouted as he clenched his fists tightly by his side.

“Well you’re certainly acting fucking crazy” Isaac yelled back as looked at Ian in disgust.

“I’m not crazy! Ian shouted, voice catching in his throat. When Isaac didn’t respond other than to shake his head derisively, Ian felt fresh tears roll down his face.

“I’m not fucking crazy.” He muttered in a broken voice, more reassuring himself at that point rather than anything else.

“I don’t have time for this, I have to be at work in a few hours and you are exhausting me. I’m going out for a walk, give you some time to cool down” Isaac said with a frustrated sigh as he made for the door.

The sound of the door slamming in the frame was obnoxiously loud in the silence of the apartment and Ian found himself wincing at noise. He wiped at his eyes furiously and collapsed onto the couch, cradling his head in his hands. He took several deep breaths in an effort to get his hammering heart under control, sitting completely still until his tears dried and his hands stopped shaking. His chest felt lighter despite their confrontation, the weight of his trapped words no longer weighing him down. He had stood up for himself and that was a _victory_.

He was contemplating texting Alice and congratulating her on her work when he heard a knock at the door. Presuming it was just Isaac back from his walk he decided to go let him in; even if it was tempting to leave him standing outside if he had forgotten his key. That was why he nearly jumped out of his skin when he swung the door open to discover Mickey standing there. His face must have accurately displayed his shock because the man in question was staring at him like he was waiting for him to do something. Ian’s mind struggled to form words that would make his delay in reaction less strange. He was suddenly extremely happy that he had showered and was praying that his eyes weren’t completely red and puffy. He couldn’t help but notice how attractive Mickey looked, his black button down made his skin look extra pale and Ian couldn’t deny his desire to leave bruises on his pale skin with his teeth and hands.

“Why are you here?” he finally blurted out, face heating up when Mickey cocked his eyebrow at him.

“Now, _imagine_ I didn’t say that in such an insulting way” Ian added sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head.

“I’m here for my money” Mickey replied amusement apparent in his eyes despite the fact that his face remained carefully blank.

“You want to come in?” Ian finally asked as his brain finished restarting and basic conversation returned to him.

“No, I’ll just sit out here on the floor” Mickey replied in a deadpan voice causing Ian to give him a half-smile.

“Right, stupid question” he said while stepping out of the way to let Mickey pass, a shiver running down his spine as the other man brushed against him briefly. “Isaac’s not here.”

“What do you mean he’s not here?” Mickey asked, annoyance flashing across his face for a second.

“His body is not physically present at this moment, I mean, he might be with us in spirit but I can’t make that kind of promise” Ian replied dryly causing the brunette to shake his head.

“Alright smart ass, where did he go?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. He can go fuck himself” Ian muttered as he walked towards the sink to get a glass of water.

“Damn Gallagher you’re not his biggest fan today” Mickey said in amusement as Ian proceeded to down his drink, mouth dry after all his shouting and crying.

“That’s a bit of an understatement” Ian sighed while placing his empty glass in the sink and turning to face the brunette.

“Isaac being an asshole?” Mickey questioned as leaned down on the island opposite Ian, the hickey on his neck drawing Ian’s attention immediately.

“As usual” Ian replied distractedly, unable to drag his eyes away from the purpling bruise that stood out so starkly against his pale skin.

Had he done that or had Mickey been with someone else since their encounter the day before? The thought made his already sensitive stomach roil uncomfortably.

“Pity you met him before me, I could have told you he was an asshole” Mickey said with a smirk.

“I’m sure there would have been other benefits to that” Ian responded almost involuntarily, eyes dipping down to Mickey’s lips which looked so much more inviting now that he knew how they felt against his own.

When he realised how unnecessarily salacious his comment was he blushed furiously causing Mickey to grin in amusement, his own lips curling reluctantly at the sight.

“I always knew there would be something wrong with him” Mickey said after a minute, sparing Ian embarrassment by switching back to their previous topic.

“What do you mean?” Ian asked out of curiosity as he leaned back to create more distance between them.

He knew how bad his self-control was when he was upset.

“I don’t how to explain it just; I always got a bad fucking vibe off him. In my line of work you get to know people, you pick up certain things and Isaac; he always made me feel like there was something off about him. I think it’s part of the reason I never warmed up to him.” Mickey replied with a shrug.

“Well, you’re not wrong” Ian said with a wistful smile his eyes locked with the other man, his heartbeat picking up slightly.

“Why you with him then?”

Ian’s eyes quickly shot up from where they had started to lower towards the hickey again, the question genuinely catching him by surprise.

“I don’t know” Ian replied honestly, breath catching slightly as Mickey slowly walked around the island, only stopping when they were a few inches apart. “I guess I’m just fucking stupid.”

“You don’t seem stupid to me Gallagher” Mickey replied, eyes roaming over Ian’s face in a way that made his skin burn.

“You’d be surprised” Ian muttered, as his eyes dropped back down again, mind completely obsessing over the stupid bruise that was now even more obvious due to their proximity.

“Should just break up with him”

“Huh?” Ian said dumbly as his eyes flew back to meet Mickey’s, surprise no doubt evident in his tone.

“Admiring your work?” Mickey asked in amusement when he realised where Ian’s gaze had been directed a moment previously, completely distracting Ian from what he had just said a few seconds beforehand.

“I did that?” Ian asked in what he hoped was a nonchalant tone, stomach somersaulting with contentment at other man’s words.

“Yeah, I don’t know how insatiable you think I am but I don’t need to fuck more than one guy a day” Mickey replied with a smirk that had Ian’s face quickly matching his hair.

He had done that. He’d _kissed_ Mickey. He’d _marked_ Mickey. He’d _fucked_ Mickey.

His eyes immediately flicked back up to focus on Mickey’s lips, memories of how red and swollen they had looked the day before causing his cock to twitch in interest as his mind started to replay some of the details rather vividly. With only a few inches between them Ian could smell his scent perfectly, could remember how it felt to inhale it when it was mixed with sweat and the tang of sex.

“You look good all marked up” Ian muttered in a parody of a conversation he and Mickey had had that day in the tattoo parlour, moving closer to Mickey almost unconsciously like he had some kind of gravitational pull.

“You hitting me on Gallagher?” he asked, eyes darkening with desire as Ian brought himself even closer.

“Maybe, is it working?” Ian asked lowly as his inhibitions started to slip away, lust clouding his head and lowering his barriers.

“Taking your clothes off might be more effective” Mickey replied with amusement as he stepped forward until their chest’s brushed.

Ian felt his breath catch as they finally touched, fire burning in his veins as heat started to spread from their point of contact. His skin was tingling with excitement and his stomach was already starting to clench in anticipation.

“I’ll remember that for next time” he replied, voice scratchy from lust.

“Cocky aren’t you?” Mickey said, voice dropping several octaves as their eyes locked, the intensity making Ian’s head feel dizzy.

“I have every reason to be” Ian murmured, close enough to Mickey that he could feel his breath tickling his lips in a torturous manner.

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that just yet” Mickey teased, close enough that when his tongue flicked out to wet his lips it grazed Ian’s, the action causing a spark to run down his spine.

“Then how about you shut up and let me prove it” Ian replied in a dazed manner as he threw away the last of his regrets and crushed his lips against Mickey’s like he had been dying to do ever since they last parted.

There was no hesitation, no warm up; the kiss went from zero to a hundred straight away. Their teeth _clacked_ together as they both surged towards each other, Mickey running his tongue along Ian’s bottom lip until he parted them and allowed his tongue to brush against his own, _sparks_ forming behind his eyes at first contact. Ian moaned into his mouth and fisted his hand in Mickey’s shirt, his other hand flying up to curl in his hair as their tongues slid together hotly. When Mickey suddenly pulled away slightly Ian nearly screamed in frustration, his dick already throbbing _painfully_.

“You sure you wanna do this Gallagher?” Mickey asked breathily, Ian nearly missing what he said entirely due to the fact that all his blood rushing to between his legs.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he said lowly, not bothering to drag his eyes away from the Mickey’s reddening lips.

“You seemed pretty upset when I arrived” Mickey replied, his own eyes locked firmly on Ian’s lips.

“I was” Ian admitted, hand slipping down to curl around Mickey’s waist almost possessively.

“Then maybe you should stop”

“Maybe you should stop talking and make me forget” Ian replied before surging forward to capture Mickey’s mouth with his own once more, all words of protest being swallowed by his lips.

Ian tugged _hungrily_ on Mickey’s bottom lip with his teeth, sucking it into his mouth and nearly drawing blood when Mickey’s hands crept under his sweatshirt. When Mickey dragged his blunt fingernails down Ian’s back while rolling his hips _slowly_ and deliberately he felt his brain short circuit. Mickey’s hand yanked at his zipper almost violently as he exposed Ian’s bare chest, not bothering to take the sweatshirt off as his hands started to explore the skin in front of him. His fingertips were leaving blazing trails across Ian’s skin and he couldn’t help but tighten his grip on Mickey’s hip, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise.

When his finger’s grazed Ian’s nipples he seized Mickey by the waist and swung him to the side, pressing him against the island and pinning him in place with his hips. He grinded their dicks together harshly, his hands slipping down to grab at Mickey’s ass in an attempt to increase the friction. Their kiss quickly turned messy and open mouthed as their hips rolled together, Ian’s hands tightening their grip as Mickey’s began to roam all over Ian’s body, his shoulders, his back, before resting on his hips and pulling him closer. The scratch of Mickey’s shirt against Ian’s bare chest made his skin feel sensitive and he couldn’t help but _gasp_ into Mickey’s mouth when the material rubbed against his abs. The heat from Mickey’s body was suffocating him and he could feel the sweat starting to form on his collarbones and the back of his neck as he continued to thrust forward.

His head dipped down so he could nose along the column of Mickey’s throat, nipping against the skin there like he had wanted to ever since he saw the other man for the first time. He kissed a wet line from his collarbone to his jaw, sucking and biting intermediately at different spots and smirking when he saw bruises blossoming against the pale skin. He felt completely _overwhelmed_ by everything that was unfolding in front of him. Every single one of his senses was filled with Mickey. His _touch_ , his _smell,_ his hitched breaths.

_Mickey. Mickey. Mickey._

Ian continued to swirl their hips together desperately, mouth being drawn back towards the other man’s like a magnet. He moaned when their tongues touched again, licking into Mickey’s mouth eagerly as if he hadn’t done it in weeks rather than minutes. He couldn’t get over how smooth and plush the other man’s lips were, already knowing he could kiss him in for hours and never get bored. He had never felt such all consuming passion in his life, the kiss was rough and biting and everything Ian had been missing in his colourless months with Isaac.

They kept pushing closer until there was nothing left between them, no _space_ , no _air._ Their hips were snapping together so desperately, so _needy_ , bodies trying to deny the laws of physics as they fought to get closer. They had given up on kissing and were basically biting and nipping at each other’s lips wildly as they continued to rut against each other. He could feel the fire slowly building in his groin, desire pulsing through his veins thick and heady as he bit back ragged moans. Mickey’s mouth was wet and hot and Ian had no intention of stopping anytime soon, too lost in the choked-off noises of pleasure and the canting of Mickey’s hips.

Which is exactly why fate chose that moment to shit on his fun.

One minute he was lost in Mickey, the next he was being shoved back unceremoniously, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. He was just about to protest when he heard the sound of the key in door; the noise effectively dumping a bucket of cold water on the moment. He cast one last look at Mickey, taking in his dishevelled appearance and storing it away in his mind before turning on the spot and making a beeline for the balcony. He had just stepped outside when he heard the door opening, the sound announcing Isaac’s return. He quickly zipped up his sweatshirt and reached for the packet of cigarettes in the pocket, hands shaking from his encounter. He was still half-hard and all he could taste was Mickey, he stuck the filter of the cigarette between his lips and prayed that the smoke might erase it from his tongue. If only so he could think straight.

His heart was beating so hard it that it felt like his ribs were about to crack under the pressure, lips _tingling_ , skin thrumming as his body recalled what it felt like to have Mickey touch him. He could hear the faint sounds of Isaac and Mickey talking but he couldn’t concentrate even if he wanted to, mind racing so fast that he felt like he might need to sit down. When he was finished smoking he leaned forward, cradling his head against his forearms where they were resting on the balcony railing. After a few minutes of deliberation he finally decided to head back in, it was getting obvious that he was hiding. He had just opened the door a bare inch when he heard Mickey speak.

“..I’m just saying that you need to sort your shit out, I’ve experienced nicer atmospheres at the morgue.” Mickey said with a shrug causing Ian to pause, fingers slipping from the handle as the conversation caught his interest.

“Not my fault, it’s all him” Isaac retorted with a huff that made Ian’s chest clench painfully.

The last thing he needed was someone complaining about him in front of Mickey.

“I strongly doubt that” Mickey replied smoothly, voice dripping with disdain in a way that made Ian perk up.

“Excuse me?!”

“It’s clearly your fault; don’t even try to lie to me because I’m not fucking stupid. You’re giving off major asshole vibes, anyone could see you’re the one with all the issues, so sort your shit out” Mickey replied roughly, voice growing sharp at Isaac’s accusatory tone of voice.

“Whatever” Isaac mumbled back as Ian finally pushed the door open properly and strolled in.

Clearly Isaac was smart enough to know when he was fighting a losing battle. That or he was just terrified of Mickey, the second one being a more likely guess when Ian saw the dark look Mickey was giving him. When they locked eyes the look softened slightly, losing some of its bite as they continued their staring match over Isaac’s shoulder as he had his back to Ian.

“Anyway, great talk. We really should do it more often” Mickey said as he finally dragged his eyes back to Isaac, giving him the world’s least enthusiastic smile before turning and heading for the door without looking back, much to Ian’s eternal disappointment.

The minute the door shut Isaac made a beeline to the bathroom like a bullet, as if the thought of spending one more second in the same room as Ian was some kind of terrible burden. Not that Ian was too upset by this; he wished that he was one who had walked out of the apartment. Wished that he could have walked out with Mickey and away from Isaac.

It took him less than 30 seconds to remember Mickey’s earlier words. He had said that Ian should dump Isaac.

Why had he said that?

Ian hesitated for a further few seconds before grabbing his keys off the island and heading for the door, not giving a single fuck about what Isaac might think. He didn’t bother waiting for the elevator, the apartment was only on the third floor and he knew he’d be faster using the stairs. He was slightly out of breath by the time he reached the entrance and noted that he really had to get back to the gym as soon as possible. He cast his eyes up and down the street, heaving out a small sigh of relief when he saw Mickey standing by a sleek black car just slightly up the street to the left, phone in his hand as his fingers danced across the screen. He looked up as he heard footsteps approaching, annoyance slipping off his face and being replacing with surprise when he realised it was Ian.

“What are you doing out here Gallagher?”

“I wanted to ask you a question” Ian replied, pleased that his voice didn’t sound as out of breath as he thought it would after making a mad dash down the stairs.

“Okay, well you might wanna get in the back, if Isaac sees us standing out here he’ll be trying to play 20 fucking questions with me later” Mickey said while opening the door to the backseat and gesturing towards it.

Ian was just about to open his mouth to say that Isaac probably wouldn’t be looking out the window but he quickly realised that, knowing Isaac, anything was possible. So he acquiesced and slid into the backseat, closing the door as Mickey climbed in the opposite side a moment later. Ian was immediately aware of the fact that they were in an enclosed space, a flicker of interest creeping up his spine when he realised how close they were sitting. The few inches between them were heavy with promise, the air feeling electric and hot with anticipation. When their thighs and arms brushed simultaneously Ian had to stop himself from mounting Mickey that second as a spark ignited in the pit of his stomach. He licked his lips, mouth feeling like sandpaper as the finally turned his head to meet Mickey’s eyes, enjoying the rush of heat when they did. He was distracted by how close their faces were, his reason for getting into the car with Mickey temporarily erased fron his mind due to the rush of hormones. After a minute of intense eye contact he finally remembered why he had followed him out there in the first place.

“Earlier, you said I should break up with Isaac. Why?” Ian asked tentatively, voice coming out lower than he expected, no doubt a side effect of his lust.

“That’s a simple question. I think you should break up with Isaac because any idiot on the fucking planet could see that you’re not happy. I mean, I’m no relationship expert what with my fear and extreme dislike of them but, I’d imagine happiness is a basic prerequisite to a successful relationship” Mickey replied, dragging his eyes away from Ian’s briefly to trail over his face before returning to their original position.

Ian thought about arguing for a second, thought about prolonging the lies he told himself when he was lying in bed at night wondering why he felt so lonely despite the fact that there was another person lying right beside him.

In the end he realised he _couldn’t_ deny it, not any longer.

“I’m not, I’m not happy” Ian said quietly, speaking more to himself than Mickey in an effort to convince himself of what he already knew. What he had known for a _long_ time.

“There you go, if you’re not happy, then leave” Mickey reiterated with a shrug while maintaining eye contact.

Ian felt the weight of his realisation crush him, anger and disappointment flowing through him in earnest as he thought about the state of things with Isaac. His head was spinning, his chest was aching and he needed a distraction.

Which is how he found himself crawling in to Mickey’s lap in the same manner as the previous day.

He sealed his lips over Mickey’s and traced the seam of his mouth with his tongue, sighing in contentment when Mickey’s lips parted to allow him in. He slid their tongues together firmly and slowly, the slick movement causing his skin to vibrate with pleasure. He arched into the hard line of Mickey’s body when he felt hands slip under his sweatshirt and caress the sensitive skin underneath in a way that was both tortuous and exhilarating. When he realised that Mickey’s head had dropped down towards his neck he nearly moaned in anticipation, dick twitching when he felt Mickey’s lips on his throat for the first time. When he started to suck and bite lightly on the skin there Ian mewled and rocked his hips forward to meet Mickeys, completely taken aback by how good the sensations felt.

They had just started to establish a rhythm when Mickey’s phone started to vibrate in his pocket, the noise completely shattering the relative silence in the car that before, had been only filled with their quiet breathing and the sounds of their lips meeting. Ian dropped his head forward into the crook of Mickey’s neck, sighing against the skin there as Mickey reached down to wriggle the phone out of the pocket of his jeans. Ian completely zoned out as he began to speak, too distracted by the feeling of Mickey’s thumb tracing his hipbone under his sweatshirt in an absent minded manner. Ian decided to try his luck and subtly inhaled from where his nose was pressed in the hollow of Mickey’s throat, the smell soothing him completely. Mickey smelt like cologne, smoke and something that was completely distinct, it was just his own personal scent.

It was just _Mickey_.

He was thrust back into reality when Mickey hung up, his sigh dragging Ian back into the moment.

“I gotta go Gallagher, business awaits” he said in a low voice, Ian’s face being close enough to his own that he didn’t need to talk any louder to be heard.

Ian couldn’t control the small flicker of disappointment that those words produced, even if he wanted to there was no point. He had spent too long pretending with Isaac; he was exhausted from lying to himself.

He was just about to climb out of Mickey’s lap when his fingers tightening suddenly, securing Ian in place by his hips. The touch was bordering on painful and Ian felt his half-hard cock twitch at the feeling. Mickey regarded him for a minute, eyes dark as they flicked around Ian’s face before landing on his throat, fingers pulling the sweatshirt aside and exposing bare skin. Before he could process what was happening, Mickey was leaning forward and sinking his teeth into the junction where Ian’s shoulder met his neck. He cried out at the feeling, cock throbbing painfully in his sweatpants as Mickey kissed the bite mark before pulling away.

“Get going Gallagher” Mickey said with a smirk as he pushed at Ian’s chest in an effort to get him to move.

Ian clambered off him in a daze, the blood rushing between his legs making his reactions slower. He pushed the door open and climbed out slowly as he composed himself, slamming the door as Mickey appeared from the other side.

“Guess I’ll see you around” he called out as he opened the door to the driver’s seat, amusement and lust obvious in his eyes as he glanced at Ian.

“If you’re very lucky” Ian said with a sly smile, unable to hold back the light feeling in his chest despite his shitty circumstances.

“Must be hard carrying around an ego that big” Mickey responded in an equally amused voice, eyes flicking up and down Ian’s body.

“That’s not the only thing that’s hard” Ian replied with the most innocent look he could muster up.

“Yeah, fuck that. I’m never talking to you ever again” Mickey said while shaking his head in disgust.

“See how long that lasts”

“Fuck off” Mickey said as he climbed into the seat, clearly trying to hold back his amusement as he started the engine.

He threw Ian one last smirk before driving off, leaving Ian standing on the sidewalk as he deliberated what to do. He _wasn’t_ happy with Isaac, hadn’t been in a _very_ long time. Fuck, he wasn’t sure if he had _ever_ been truly happy or if he had just been settling because he seemed nice. Isaac belittled him, called him names, made him feel like absolute shit and he needed to do something about it and soon. As he sat there, the sun started to creep behind the building slowly but surely, a pile of cigarette butts building up around him on the steps. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there but there was one thing he _did_ know looking back on that day. That was when the realisation hit him.

It was at that moment, sitting outside his apartment entrance on a dark evening, that he decided that he needed to end things with Isaac. He felt his body flooding with a mixture of determination and nerves on the elevator ride back up, his hands shaking as he unlocked the door and stepped in into the apartment.

The silence was unnerving him as he approached Isaac where he was sitting on the couch with the TV on low volume, the faint blue glow from the screen serving as the only light. When he finally sat down on the armchair to the left of Isaac he could see how pinched his face was, how tired and pissed off he looked. He knew it wasn’t the best time to do it, but he was afraid he might talk himself out of it if he waited any longer so he steeled himself and sat up straight in an attempt to project confidence.

“Isaac, there’s something I’d like to talk about and I’d appreciate it if you would –“

“Save it”

“What?”

“I said save it Ian” Isaac huffed as he pushed himself off the couch and gave Ian a weary look, “I’m wrecked, I even called Colin and told him I’m not working tonight, I don’t have the energy to fight with you right now.”

“But I just want to say –“

“Well you can say it tomorrow, I’m going to bed” Isaac said dismissively, disappearing into the bedroom without so much as a backwards glance.

Ian let out an angry sigh and resigned himself to another sleepless night on the couch. He was pretty sure it was bad manners to sleep in the same bed as a guy when you had spent the day making out with his brother and were planning on leaving him. He grabbed the spare pillow and blanket out of the closet and curled up on the couch in annoyance. He had wanted to end things then and there while he was feeling confident, he knew by tomorrow he might be feeling nervous and shaky again and it was frustrating. Still, he knew he had to do it, nerves or not.

He didn’t want to be the guy who stayed with someone out of obligation. He didn’t want to be the guy that settled for the less than he deserved. And most importantly, he didn’t want to be the guy that cheated when he could just end things like an adult.

He had to do it; he had to confront his problems head on.

He reached for the remote control on the coffee table and flicked it on to some Jerry Springer-esqe chat show, the shouting on it reminding him of his own very loud, very _dysfunctional_ family. The family on it were one of the roughest Ian had ever seen and were fighting about who the baby’s father was and how, if the young man in question _was_ the father, he would have to stop shooting up heroin.  

And as he finally started to drift asleep his found himself taking solace in one thing, as bad as things had been, at least his life would never be as bad as _that._

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise this chapter has no Mickey POV but, at the end of the day, this was a very big important Ian-centric chapter and I felt he deserved it to himself. Plus, I do consider this to be his story and he is more the protagonist so it was only fair he got this chapter dedicated to himself as he faced a lot of inner turmoil. ALSO, I hate Isaac. Just saying. Thank you so much for all your lovely comments on the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one too!
> 
> Chat to me on tumblr at: glassheartxo.tumblr.com


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